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I feel like that too. I'm looking forward to the wedding, but I don't see how anything will change. But this is a good thing! People shouldn't prioritize a wedding, or even marriage, over their relationship in my opinion.
Yep, I feel the same. We've been living together for almost three years. I'm not going to lie, our first two years were TOUGH....we fought CONSTANTLY! Over stupid things! But we got past it and now I feel like we have such a strong "marriage" haha.
i'm with you: dating since Aug. '05, moved in unofficially shortly after, officially April '06, bought house Dec. '09. No babies though.
I wonder the same thing, but I must admit, I get all emotional randomly about the whole idea of getting married and being with this great guy forever! I doubt the day to day will change, but it still means a ton. I wonder if our feelings will change?
We've been together 9 years, almost 10 by the time the wedding rolls around! We own our home, and have really grown up together, even though we met in our early 20s. We really wanted to be done with grad school, and on secure financial footing before we got engaged, even though we've known all along we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm one of those people who don't think much will change after we're married. I feel like we've been commited to one another from the start, and no piece of paper is going to magically make that commitment stronger. However, for us, we don't see marriage as a religious sacrament, like many do. Our wedding will simply be an outward expression of our inward love/commitment for our community to witness.
Ya I feel like our "honeymoon" phase was over a long time ago. We moved in together after two months too. He's my hubbie to me already. I always wonder if it will feel different after we're "oficiall" married...I doubt it will though.
We had lived together for over 3 years when we got married and yes it does feel SLIGHTLY different. It doesnt feel different every single day or every moment, but it does at some moments and its great!! Actually at times I still think "hes my boyfriend" but then you remember that you are married and it feels wonderful! We just feel more united, more like a family and a team even though we always have been. I cant describe it but its awesome!
@PitBulLover:thanks for responding! i was really hoping a married bee would and your response made me smile!
I don't think it will. I've only noticed a difference since he told me that he wanted us to have our wedding. We have the kids and house etc already so we never really felt anxious about getting married but I'm looking forward to the moment that we actually share our vows.
I totally feel like we are already married. We have been dating since Sep 9, 2005 then moved in together in March of 2009 and got engaged on Dec. 4, 2009. We are getting married on November 27, 2010. I don't think much will change besides my last name.
We've been old marrieds for years, lol. Together since Jan '00, cohabiting since Sept '00, engaged since Jan '07...
Not expecting a lot of changes, but some of them are small things that don't occur to you very often. After my mum died (Feb '07), at the funeral, many people (who didn't know us v well) were offering condolences to my brother's wife. At that point, they'd been married less than 1 year, and together 3. A lot of those people pretty much ignored my fella, so that did grate a little. I think you just get to the stage where you want the world to take your relationship seriously, and TBH a lot of people just don't until you're married.
But otherwise, not expecting a whole lot to change! Except the taxman will be a little more generous! Yay!
Yep, my fiance and I have been together for 6 years, lived together for 4 of those. We already have to do holiday scheduling between both our families, etc. We've already bought a house and furniture together. Etc. For us, the wedding is just a party to make it "legal". :)
It's kind of a running joke when everyone asks me how married life is, and my response is typically "exactely the same." It's still just as fabulous as it was before, and quite honestly I wouldn't ask for it any other way. I think living together before marriage is such a great thing, because it's a HUGE transition. The wedding just makes it that much more official. Sometimes I think it's wierd to say my "husband", but it feels great! It's just that official lifelong commitment that makes it special.
@junabiona: Youre welcome! I had this same question before getting married, but I did not fully understand what my married friends meant when they said they felt different. Im sure it is different for every couple, but I do think that a tiny little thing changes. Maybe its just something you have in the very back of your head that you are now there for one another, always, no matter what. Also, it has only been 2 months for us so maybe the feeling continues to change...we will see. Its also a sense of pride, too (I think) like now he is my HUSBAND and it is awesome to be able to say that to the world!
I know the feeling! We've been together over 8 years, and living together for 3. We've been through so much together already, it's hard to imagine that a piece of paper will change anything! But I have to admit, I get really excited at times and pretty emotional when I think about us actually tying the knot :)
My first reaction is that I do feel like I'm already married. However, we had been living together for 3 years when we became engaged in February... and I was amazed at how different we both felt once that happened. If you would have asked me how I felt before I was engaged, I would have told you that I felt married. However, just becoming one another's fiance made us both feel so much more in love and just different. Therefore, I honestly think it will feel different once we are married. I'm not sure how yet... but I bet that it will be even better : )
Hope this makes sense without me sounding like a cheeseball!
Even though we've been dating since March 2005, and moved in together in May of that year, I am so excited to get married. I don't know that anything will change, but I am excited to call him my Husband!
@Future Frett: Not cheeseball at all, I was actually going to post something similar! We're celebrating our 7 year anniversary on Sunday, and we'd always get the 'already married' jokes. But I agree, things are different now that we're engaged, which makes me all the more excited to see how being married brings us even closer.
We've been engaged for almost 18 months now and we've been living together for almost 14 months, so I do feel as if all that will change is a piece of paper legally binding us. However, this can also be daunting to me. I am now Legally obliged to this man. Like, I'm his property. I'm expected to change my name and give away my old identity.
I know none of that is true, it's just this irrational fear I have that his parents are going to expect me to wait on him hand and foot because that's what role the females in his family play. I don't want to give myself up, I don't want to be the submissive wife. I want to be his equal. *Rant over*
Yep, I feel like I did everything backwards. Live together, have kids, look and act married, but where's the actual marriage license? I get so irritated when people mistake us as being married already, and when people call my guy "my husband" I just want to scream. I can't wait to actually make it official though, and I think it will feel different than now......more complete, real, and PERFECT!!!! (finally, lol) 
For the first eight years of our relationship, we couldn't legally get married as a same-sex couple. So we just kind of started thinking of ourselves as married without a legal ceremony. We actually had to change our Facebook status back from "married" to "engaged."
I think, though, that the biggest change between living together and being married is not so much the relationship between the two of you, but the relationship between you as a couple and the rest of the world. In everything from knowing that if you are invited, your spouse automatically is, too, to having the right to speak on your spouse's behalf if s/he is unconscious or incompetent, you're no longer having to fight to be seen as the most important person in his/her life.
My hubby and I lived together for about three years before marriage, no house or kids. People would say "it's the same" and others said "it's different." I thought "well which is it?" I didn't know what to expect. Now, two weeks into marriage, it's mostly the same but just knowing that we're married makes it different.
Our photographer asked us on our wedding day "so how does it feel to be married?" I said "the same but with rings." She laughed. It wasn't until the next day that it kinda sunk in. We're married! =)
It's weird because everyone kept asking me after the wedding if I felt "different." I had to say no. We've been living together for about 5 years so we really "felt married" before hand. Things are different but it's not a huge change.
We have been together for 4 years and living together for two... We are pretty much married. Although, I do look forward to making it official and actually becoming Mrs. Shef.
I definitely feel as though we are already married in some ways since we have been together 6 years. It just feels right.....being with him. Its never old or dull....it's just right lol. I cannot wait to be married though because I only live with him on the weekends (Friday to Sunday). During the week I still live with my parents. I cannot WAIT to live together full time! I am also very close with his family. I already call his mother my MIL and she calls me her DIL. My mom calls FI her SIL.
Absolutely! We've been together for 5 1/2 years and started living together about 2 months into our relationship. We've had joint finances for about 4 years. We're as married as two people can be without it being legal. Our wedding is really just a formality. Out of all of our friends, FI and I have been together the longest (we've got them beat by years) and most are already married. I get kind of annoyed when they try to give me marriage advice since I've been "married" much longer than they have. I wonder if anyone else has this problem?
I'll tell you from the other side that I didn't expect things to be different, and they weren't really - but we did have a nice 'honeymoon glow' to our relationship during the wedding/honeymoon and for a few weeks after we returned home. it was nice to have a renewal/refreshing of our relationship and a reminder of how much we mean to each other and how much fun we have together.
I totally have felt like we've been married since we moved in together a little over three years ago. I don't see really any differences besides having new rings and legally being bound to each other. I'm looking forward to the ceremony and the devotion and commitment but on some level I feel like all that is already there. We have people say "You'll see how different it is once you're married" but honestly I don't think much will change. Also, his dad said to us "You get to look forward to dealing with each other all the time after March". After three years of living together and five of being together I think we've already gotten used to each other.
Ha! We've been married for years! We've been together 7 years and have lived together for 4 of those. We've combined finances a long time ago, split family holiday time. Our wedding was just a giant party to celebrate it being legal! :) .
I also think its funny when people ask me how married life is.....because to me it doesn't feel any different!
I really didn't expect it to be different. We've been together 11 years and lived together for 6 but subconciously it did make a difference. While nothing "changed" in our day to day life. I suddenly felt trapped and resentful which I did not expect. I guess before I had freedeom,"I can leave at anytime" and now it's " I can't leave".
I definitely feel like we're already married, even though I'm so far away, we take care of everything together: home renovations, healthcare issues, issues surrounding his girls (which he quite often reminds me are "our"girls)and their mom. We've been together 3yrs and it feels like a decade...in a good way
I've been married before and now live with my bf of 7 years (we've lived together for 6) so I have a unique perspective. It's totally the same. We share a bank account, credit cards, a dog - so there is no change, really, except for the box I check on Mrs. or Ms., lol!
Yes, feels like we are married but we sure haven't been together as long as many of you have been! :) We have only been together just over 2 years, living together for 1.5.
We share everything financially and emotionally, and he truly is my best friend. The only thing I foresee changing upon getting married is we will have the same last name and we will start our 2 legged family. Right now our only "kids" are 2 cats, 4 dogs, and 2 horses. :)
PitBulLover- your posts were wonderfully sweet! I smiled when I read them.
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FI & I have been living together since 2 months into our relationship. We started dating in May 2006. We bought our first place together in 2008 (we were renting prior to that) and had our first baby in 2008 as well. I feel like we're already married.
I wonder if it'll feel 'different' after we've officially tied the knot?