Weddingbee boards

Perhaps it's because I was just watching "The Breakup", but I just realized that I'm frustrated with my fiance for not helping with my never-ending invitation project.  And yet, I have never asked him to help.  And to further the matter, I'm not sure that I'd accept his help if he offered.  I have seven (7!) bridesmaids, and I'm suffering from such perfectionism (completely unlike me) that I don't trust anyone, even them, to help me with anything.  And while I realize that the only thing to blame for all of this is my own neuroses, I can't help but take it out on my fiance.  Poor guy.  Just as in "The Breakup", I want him to help, but even more than that, I want him to want to help, but then I don't want his help.

 Is anyone else experiencing this brand of crazy?   It's exhausting, isn't it??

Heh.  Isn't it strange??  I just tried imagining my FI being more involved and opinionated, and I'm sure that I would hate that, as well!  I suppose that there's just no pleasing a bride-to-be, in some aspects.  And now is when I realize that I need to start watching "Bridezillas" to make myself feel better.

Speaking of becoming completely crazy during wedding planning, I've found that whenever I'm stressed out, pictures of baby bunnies make me feel all cozy and better.  It's gotten to the point that when I'm frustrated, I find myself muttering, "Baby bunnies, baby bunnies, baby bunnies," to myself.  I am a CRAZY person!!

You're absolutely right, happilywaiting.  I have given my FI tasks along the way that he has taken on enthusiastically and effectively - after I assigned them to him very clearly.  The things that I wish that I had his help with are the things that I have single handedly made more difficult for myself.  E.g.:  We don't need to buy $6 invitations!  I can make the exact same thing for under a dollar - even though I am by no means a graphic artist and my mediums are limited to a glue stick and paper.  Oh, how I envy all of you Gocco girls!

You know, I struggle with this from time to time.

I chalk it up to being overwhelmed and stressed out by being thrown into a world of things so unfamiliar and unnecessary (in my everyday life up to this point)  that I kind of don't know what to do.

I know he doesn't know what to do either. I think guys assume that women have been dreaming of this their whole lives and they're preprogrammed to know how to align every detail into the perfect wedding without their help. 

 I made sure I told him that this just isn't the case with me. I made it clear that this wedding isn't MY DAY, it's our day, and I will not be planning this thing all on my lonesome (of course I said it in a nice way with sweet smiles and gentle tones because I love him dearly)....and once he knew where I was coming from he was open to help me as much as he can. I don't expect him to pick out what napkin fabric we should use, but color and style and those kinds of things, we're deciding together. 

That way the result really is an expression of US as a unit rather than my best efforts in trying to visually describe our relationship with flowers and ribbons. 

 They'll help, you just have to let them. Explain how you feel. 

When I say that I don't mean "wail at the top of your lungs if he says 'that's nice honey' without looking away from the tv at what you're holding up". 

Try to make it fun for him. Find a way to help him understand why this is important. The more connected he feels to the project, the more interested he'll be. Sometimes I think guys just don't want to interfere with "our days".

We've definitely been making an effort to make our wedding very "us", but rather than finding common ground on every decision, we've each chosen the aspects that suit us and have worked on them individually.  That is:  Anything involving music is all his, and most things involving aesthetic is up to me.  I'm really not trying to harp on my FI here - just more so my inability to delegate.  But I assure you, during my little meltdowns (only two so far!), my FI is very quick to identify what it is that is overwhelming me and then take it upon himself to take care of it.  I'm a very lucky girl, which I try to remind myself of every time I'm geting cranky because of wedding planning. 

Haha. I've definitely had my cranky moments!

I was trying to quit smoking but that's definitely going to have to wait until the day of!

@ West Coast Bride:  Wow.  You're husband is wise!  I seriously had a moment of clarity when I read your response!  I suppose that I could reply, "I have to make our invitations because I already ordered all of the supplies and we can't afford to redo this," making it a very, "You made your bed, and now you have to lay in it," type of situation, but that won't get our invitations out, will it?  Invitations aside, there has been other projects that I have freaked out about (read:  "I...  *sob*... can't... *sob*... do it! *sob*), and my FI has sweetly suggested other simpler options.  Men and their simplicity are so complementary to us women.  :-)