Post # 1
Even after being married for 8 months, I have never shared my “baby names” with FH. He has shared his thoughts on them (he wants to pick something that leaves our children with options, and not give the names of other family members), and mentioned one or two names. When our niece was born recently (I had mentioned I hoped they didn’t use something we would want), we both discussed how we didn’t like it. (Obviously, this didn’t get shared with others.) We’re a few years away from having kids, and I want to have that discussion with him, but it feels weird. I have analyzed, and the only things I have come up with are:
1. growing up, I was told never to discuss this kind of stuff with a guy because they’ll think you’re desperate. I know we’re married and it’s different, but having a little hard time shaking that.
2. While we agreed to have kids, I am a litle on the fence and bringing it up feels a little weird.
3. FH is laid-back, I’m a worrier, and his frequent response to issues in the distant future is, “Let’s not worry since it’s not today’s problem.” So good for me, but sometimes annoying.
Anyone else have any thoughts on this, or am I just weird?
Post # 3
I feel strange talking about kids sometimes but for slightly different reasons. Darling Husband is the one on the fence – if I turned around tomorrow and said I didn’t want to have any, I think he’d be fine with that. If we TTC and weren’t successful, I think he’d be ok with giving up, rather than pursuing IVF/adoption or anything like that (not sure how I feel about it, so like your Darling Husband I’m not worrying about it since it’s not a problem right now!). So although we’ve agreed to TTC in a year or 2 (and Darling Husband agrees that he’d probably love being a dad, and that we’d make fairly good parents, etc), I don’t talk about it too much bc I don’t want him to feel the pressure (much like I did when I was waiting for him to propose, LOL).
I don’t feel weird about names though, we’ve been talking about names forever, even couples I know who are dating but not engaged talk about baby names. We’ve got a boys’ name picked out (and have for the last 3 or 4 years) and occasionally discuss girls names too – and sometimes he’s the one bringing it up, so I know it’s not just me who sees a name and thinks “ooh that’s nice” 🙂
If you want to bring it up I’d say “I was thinking about how we talked about [neice’s] name and I was thinking how I’ve always loved the name Sherrylee. Do you have any names picked out?” or something like that 🙂
Post # 4
I’m kind of opposite… we are not even sure we’re going to have kids and we’ve had name discussions a LOT. I think because to me… what you might name a kid does not = i want to have a kid now. Its just one of those things you think about. We usually end up talking about it on road trips because we have a lot of time to fill with chatting!
I also think its funny that i’m the opposite of you in terms of your preferences (you want the kid to have lots of options and not be named after a family member). I am looking for names that can’t be changed/shortened and I would prefer them to be somehow in the family! 🙂
Post # 5
We started talking about names about a year ago, before we were married. We made a list of our top choices. Now we just started TTC, and we are still mulling names over, but we have our favorite girl and boy names so far. Hubby has dozens of cousins, most with kids, so a lot of names are already taken. He really likes family names, most of which are pretty dated, and I like more unique names that have cute nicknames that we could use.
I think if your husband has already brought it up, you’d be okay to bring it up and talk about it.
Post # 6
We aren’t even engaged yet and we’ve discussed names alot. Mostly because I’m a complete name nerd lol. It’s just something I’ve always been interested in and it doesn’t seem unnatural to talk about. I’m fortunate to have a domestic-minded bf (haha) who doesn’t mind my obsession with weddings and baby names.
Post # 7
I’ve always been obsessed with names, and my Fiance knows that, so it’s no pressure for me to bring up baby names. We already have our future daughter’s name picked out because we both fell in love with it. We’re nowhere near having children though, so for now it’s just a fun, sometime in the distant future kind of discussion.
Post # 8
Fiance & I discussed kids name ALL the time before we were even engaged. I think it would start out as a joke & than escalate into a discussion. For example: I sure hope you don’t plan on naming our future kids ______. Than Fiance would start to bug me with ridiculous names.
I never thought that babies/baby names were a off limit subject with Fiance. We both knew we would end up together & both knew that eventually we would be having kids together (fingers crossed)
I have pretty much already told my Fiance that I will have the most say in name picking for our children. If I am popping that kid out I get majority say!
Post # 9
We’ve talked baby names since before we were engaged too (we knew we’d get engaged/married someday however). We have four girls names and one boy name thus far. 🙂
Post # 10
My Fiance and I JUST had this discussion – on a walk with both of my parents and my little sister – so everybody threw in their two cents. Guess it’s no big deal since we know we want kids.
Then again I don’t really have any names that I just love and have to use. I figure we’ll work it out when the time comes.
Post # 11
We have definitely been discussing them, but it is due to the fact that we will have one in 3 months… lol. We have decided that if the baby is a boy, we are going with Aidan Michael. If the baby is a girl, we are thinking Elena Lynn. 🙂 Might be having twins!
Post # 12
I have baby twin girl names picked out already. The boy ones are harder to agree on.
Post # 13
Hahaha Puggie me too! A fortune teller told me I’d have twin girls and a boy and I’ve names picked, although I did recently hear of my boy name being used on a girl.
He laughs at me and rolls his eyes – he’s pretty much resigned to me picking the names! He does trust me to not pick anything cracked, though lol.
We’ve gone a funny distance on this one – early on in our relationship he was 100% against having kids, I was 100% for, in a ‘few years time’ kind of way.
Now he’s quite at ease with the idea – his nieces and nephews really engineered this change- while I’ve moved to thinking it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we didn’t. Interesting.
Post # 14
I have a list of baby names in my planner all the time HAHAHHA!
Don’t be embarassed, if you know its going to happen then who cares when you discuss it!