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I'm a size 22, so I sure as hell did not expect to lose enough weight to squeeze into a size 8. However, I'm feeling EXTREMELY disappointed in myself that I did not lose the weight I wanted to. I have no one to blame but myself, but I hate myself for being the "fat bride" I swore I was not going to be. I feel & look great in my dress, but I just know I will look back 10 years from now at pictures & hate my face or the way the dress didn't lay "just right". I know I'll get over feeling like this, I just needed to rant :)
You have my sympathy. Weight loss is such a hard thing, and soooo much pressure is put on brides to be "perfect." But you know what, life happens and we don't always have things go as planned. When you look at your wedding pictures, you will notice the joy on your face, the love in your husband's eyes and the wonderful celebration of your friends and family, not your size.
I completely know what you are going through. My wedding is a month away and I a can't believe I didn't lose a pound and I have been trying for a year. I am so disappointed in myself because I wanted to look my best for my pictures. I am slowly coming to terms with it but at the end of the day my FI loves no matter what size I am and I have a beautiful dress that fits me (if I lost the weight I would have had to get it taken in so at least I saved a bit of money there :)). I know I will be beautiful on my wedding day and I know I will look back on the pictures and know how happy I was and somehow I don't think the fact I didn't lose the weight will really come to mind.
Yeah, I am in that boat too. I am a size 14/16 and would love to just make it a 10/12. Ever since I had my kids I just can't make my stomach smaller. I have only really lost about 25 pounds since I had my youngest daughter 5 years ago. I wanted to lose the weight for the wedding but at the same time I didn't want to exercise every day and I didn't want to pass on the desserts, lol! I am just not good at self discipline. I try to remind myself every day that God made me the way I am, and if he made me this way then I should be happy with it. It's not like I overeat or anything, I just can't say no to sweets or yes to exercise.
I think about pictures 10 years from now, also, but the way I look at it is... if I am smaller in 10 years than I am now I will be excited for myself for how far I have come in 10 years (and then I will go out and renew my vows and retake pictures!), and if I am heavier in 10 years then I will be able to look back at the pictures fondly and reminisce about how small I was back then :)
Thank you ladies. It does help to know I'm not the only one. I don't want to be a skinny minnie, I just wanted to be more comfortable & be able to tell I'd lost a few pounds.
@aubrav: I feel you! I suck @ self discipline too. I love your idea of re-taking pictures & re-newing vows, great for you!
MissShort & AClaire: Thank you for making me realize the only thing I should notice is the love in our eyes. I am so excited for our wedding day & know FI & everyone else will think I am beautiful regardless of what size I am.
haha oh do I have a story for you. Mr. G and I have been dating for about 2 years now and when I met him I was 126 lbs. When we started our relationship I made an appt with the endocrinologist who found out I had a thyroid condition. She told me I would gain a lot of weight. I didn't think she meant 60 pounds! So here I am, 60 pounds heavier than I was when we met due to no fault of my own. I exercise six days a week and am probably one of the healthiest people you'd ever know. But until my thyroid levels stabilize I will not be able to lose weight. It's really hard knowing that I'm not able to look my best for the most special day in my life :(
@KaitlinHudson: I recently foudn out my weight gain problems are probly from a medical condition too! Part of me is relieved and part of me is freaked out.
@CaraMia10: I didn't lose any weight for my wedding either- In fact, I've GAINED weight! :_( I'm a size 24 now. I feel like people will see me and not think "what a beautiful bride!" but "what a fat, disgusting cow! Couldn't she even TRY to lose weight for her wedding day?!" Ugh. So, I get your disappointment! I just keep telling myself that as long as I think I look the best I can on the day of my wedding, what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. I'll be wearing a gorgeous dress, with an Amazing hair-do, and fab makeup and be marring someone I love to a billion forevers. Anything beyond that is inmaterial. Easier said then done, but I hope I'll be too happy the day of to think of it.
I haven't lost any weight either. I'm a size 26 and it sucks, I want to lose the weight but I have ZERO motivation. Losing weight is hard, and expensive.
I think that so many brides are set up by the whole, "You must look perfect on your wedding day," thing. Weddings are stressful. Stress often tends to cause you to gain weight. And yet we somehow expect that brides will manage to lose weight at the same time as going through all that stress.
And I will also say, on your wedding day, how happy you are to be getting married will shine through. I have one picture of us as we started the recessional, obviously thrilled and with eyes only for each other. Regardless of my size, that is a picture I will cherish.
My wedding was 3 weeks ago and I didn't lose the weight I'd planned. A year before the wedding, I was in great shape but lost the motivation and gained 6 or 7 pounds in the 8 months between engagement and wedding. I always assumed I would be super-motivated to exercise and eat well before my wedding, but it was almost the opposite: all my resolve seemed to go right out the window! And, while I tend to be a non-eater in times of stress, the particular brand of wedding stress increased my appetite like nothing ever.
But...I can tell you honestly, it didn't matter and I don't care even one little bit. I had a great wedding, and I felt like a beautiful bride. When I see the photos, I definitely notice that I'm not as slim and fit as I'd hoped to be, but much more than that, I notice how radiant and happy I look and I remember what an amazing day it was.
Please don't beat yourself up -- it won't help! Be kind to yourself and enjoy your wedding to the fullest. You're going to be gorgeous, I promise!
I also completely understand. When FI and I started dating, I was a size 12/14 and then ballooned to a size 22 when we moved in together.
We have been engaged for almost a year and a half, and I have hardly lost a thing. I am not striving to be a skinny minny either, but I just want to look more like myself. I look in the mirror and I just don't feel my best. If I had always been this size, that would be different. But I feel like I am in this body I am not comfortable with. The wedding is in 5 months, and I am trying like mad to even just get to a size 16/18. I am disappointed in myself for leaving this so late.
Its funny how you feel alone in the world sometimes.
I feel the exact same way.... I have been batteling the 20lbs i gained after I met my FI. Ive lost nothing... maybe a whole 3 lbs...
I have never had less motivation than i do now. I dont understand...this is such a big day and I am so afraid imgoing to look at the photos and be completely grossed out with myself.
My mother is no help...i know she is trying to motivate me...but she keeps telling me how devestated im going to be that i didnt loose the weight...and how much im going to regret it when i see my pictures...
I am soooo sad...i feel like me not taking care of myself has somewhat ruined the day already... sigh...
Have you read this? http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/07/a-way-to-weigh-what-you-weigh-when-you-wed/
It helped me feel about a billion times better about my own situation. I'm also a plus sized bride and it can be really hard. The other thing I try to do is find other pictures of plus sized brides, and seeing how beautiful and happy they are makes me tear up and gives me hope :) There are lots of beautiful brides on this site: http://plumageblog.com/
Can I join the club!
I haven't lost anything yet :( but I still have 3 months left. I really want to lose it though!!!!!!!!!!
@liltwinstar: Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much for this. I really needed to read that *cue tears*. I honestly feel so much better after reading this. I know, no matter what, that I WILL feel beautiful & my FI & family will think I'm gorgeous.
@ForeverYoung: This is exactly how I feel. I, obviously, knew our wedding was right around the corner. Did I do anything about it?? Nope. Do I have the motivation?? Nope. Isn't it weird? There's nothing I can do about it now though. I'm sorry about your mom, I have one of those too. Do not let her get you down & influence your feelings. The one that matters at the end of the day is FI. After all, you were the one he chose to marry.
Ohhh my gosh, I just want to hug all of you. I've tried hard ... but not nearly as hard as I should have tried. I look back on the year I've been planning this wedding and I'm like -- I'm so stupid, all I had to do was lose five measly pounds a month and I'd be where I wanted to be. Instead I'm down to like, 8 weeks away and scrambling, and even still last night I went to the gym and hardly burned anything. I'm so tired and stressed out, all I want to do is nap, not go to the gym. It's like the closer we get, the less motivated I am ... :/
i wanted to read that article but for some reason I cant see anything :(
can someone maybe copy paste it and PM me? Like the actually article and not the link...
Im so glad im not alone...im so angry at myself and im so scared....
I am the same, I gained 20lbs since buying my dress, super depressed, but then someone told me about this 'diet', so I started it and have lost 12lbs since Aug 14th...can message me if you want the info I received.
I actually put on about 10 pounds within the few months after I bought my dress. About 5 months before the wedding I tried it on again and it was tight. I worried about it fitting and ended up getting to change it for a size up since I hadn't done alterations or even taken the tags off yet. Now that is a big let down to get a bigger dress before the wedding, and it wasn't even for a good reason, like getting pregnant. Just laziness on my end. But I looked beautiful and had a wonderful day and married the man of my dreams. That's what I focus on.
I'm so glad for this post! I always figured I'd be in the best shape of my life when my wedding day came. But with a month to go I'm pretty much the same shape I've always been (except for the dark days of freshman year of college when I learned the meaning of freshman-15 :)
I guess getting married just isn't enough motivation for me to work out any harder or stop eating that bag of nacho doritos! It's a little hard to swallow the fact that with 30 days left I'm probably not going to look much different for the wedding then I do know.
On the up side, like Miss Short Dress said, I didn't have to spend any extra money on getting my dress altered!!
I did for awhile...I lost about 20 lbs before the wedding. But not exactly at my goal weight. But I loved my pictures and I loved my wedding day. I still felt gorgeous and like a bride, and I felt like people meant it when they told me I looked great. I don't love every picture, when my arm sits weird or I have a weird expression, but I think that can happen no matter what weight you are at.
The important thing for me is that I am still working on losing weight successfully and my goal all along is to be as healthy as I can be. Looking better and losing weight just comes with that.
dont get down on yourselves ladies. I felt this sick feeling about my weight up to the day of my wedding. When i put on my dress and looked in the miror i was amazed at how good i felt. Also, my pics came out great. i look thinner in them then i do in real life (i think) SO-I was a plus size bride and I looked amazing!:)
Just make sure you watch what you eat the day or two before your wedding. Eat light so you are not bloated/gassy on your wedding day. Believe me, i was so stressed i kept forgetting to eat (i usually pig out during dress and i NEVER forget to eat). I think it was because i DIY almost my entire wedding so the week before was crazy with projects :) hehe
Im not the only one who gained weight after buying the dress ,, im pretty dis. in myself as well ,, but it is what it is my honey loves me either way !!!!lol
Okay. I'm going to share my transition photos with you ladies. Don't be alarmed, the hip-span is scary, but it won't attack.
I had been trying to lose weight for three years with no success. I got on this program and loss 40lbs in 6 weeks. I went from a 22w to a 14/16. My behind was so big it was like a stalker. I haven't taken an pics lately because I still want to drop 15-20 more pounds first.
Mo_split_blackout.jpg (99.7 KB, 96 downloads) 1 year old 
@Phenomenal Affairs: wow you look great! congrats on the weight loss!
Thanks Stephanie. I feel great, I feel younger, and it's put a spark in my relationship ;-)
@Phenomenal Affairs: You look AMAZING! What program are you using to lose the weight?
I can relate to this. I started doing Weight Watchers before I got engaged (almost exactly a year ago, actually) and when I first started it was absolutely for me and I dropped about 30 lbs. from September to the time we got engaged in April.
I was only 10 lbs away from my "Goal Weight" and 15 away from what I wanted to be my "Wedding Weight"...
However, by those last few months, I was only losing about 1-2 lbs a month. I said to myself that it would be ok because I had over a year, and SURELY I could lose 10-15 lbs in a year, right?
I even told all the dress consultants in June that I wouldn't be ordering until October-December, so I would be back when I had lost 5 more lbs so my size would be more accurate.
Well, guess what? I slacked. ALL. SUMMER. LONG. I haven't lost anything. In fact, I gained a few pounds. It's my own fault, but I just have trouble motivating myself to get back in the habit of eating healthy and working out.
I'm secretly dreading this weekend, because I'm going dress shopping out of state to try on the dress that I think I will eventually purchase, and I'm terrified that it won't look as good on me as it did before!
I know I'm not huge (I'm about a street size 10) but I know I could easily go down a size before the wedding if I could just get my rear in gear!
I think it's funny how I will work my butt off to be in a bathing suit on the beach, but when I start thinking about the wedding, I don't want to work out. WHY? I have over a year.
But ladies, I had knee sugery a month ago and have lost a lot of my muscle mass, plus put on a little weight. You see, I *used* to love the gym. I basically lived there. So I could eat what I wanted and still be a toned, healthy person. But but no means "skinny minny" -- as that is not the goal. The goal is to be healthy. But my motivation is shot as well.
i dropped about 30 lbs.. kinda stalled as i got closer to the wedding.. so stressful trying to plan... i know NO excuse but boy im just ready to enjoy my big day
Acupressure and cleansing. Where are you located? Maybe theres a location in your area.
I feel your pain -__- I'm a size 14 (not bad) but just last year at this same time I was a size 10! I've been straining to get back to my original weight and the pounds do not budge! :P the crazy thing is my doctor says I'm perfectly healthy, so I've finally resolved that my body demands I weight 160lb and won't take no for an answer
yes. i'm feeling it! i still have 10 pounds to lose before the wedding and i've been at a plateau for 3 months!
Whatever else you do, make sure you are getting enough good, restorative sleep! I've been learning about sleep & weight--it's amazing. Not getting enough sleep messes up cortisol & some other hormones & will actually cause weight gain even if you are doing everything else right. And stress affects cortisol as well.
I've found out that in my case, alcohol messes up my sleep cycle, so I have had to cool it on that. I'm much older than most of you, so that is a factor as well.
But, getting enough good quality sleep is crucial for weight management.
Yes, rest is critical to weight loss. I had insomnia for a few weeks and I could see the impact it made on my body.
It's difficult to lose weight on a timeline (in my experience) because it's so easy to lose your motivation. If something goes wrong, if you have a bad week, or if your body just isn't reacting to the changes you make as quickly as you want it to, you'll be that much more inclined to despair as the deadline approaches (I think this is true for most people, although some people thrive when there's a deadline involved). I had the most success losing weight when nothing was at stake and I could go slow, integrate new habits into my life, and in general enjoy the process.
So personally, I think it's better to focus on increasing one's general health--which includes exercising and eating well, but NOT becoming a gym rat and dieting--and work on wholistic self-acceptance. This means really slow--if any--weight loss. It's unlikely with this kind of awareness that I'll GAIN any weight, though--and I"ve mostly hovered within the same 1-3 pounds. Any weight that I might be able to lose--which probably won't be that much--will just be a bonus, instead of "falling short" of some goal. I'd rather be heavier but have a stronger sense of self-confidence than be 10 pounds lighter and miserable because it wasn't 20.
I take Stephen with me to work out. Granted, I have a little more access to a gym because I have one at my work with classes, and also have a gym membership. But when all I want to do is go home and relax in front of the TV, I'll ask him if he wants to go (not really wanting to) and in general he does. That's all it takes for me to get motivated. I am a size 10 (used to be 12/14) and would like to be a 6/8. I haven't changed what I eat drastically (I'm a vegetarian) but I have changed my activity level drastically. I am naturally an athletic person, so my body needs that activity to regulate my weight.
The best advice I can give is do something you love or find a partner (doesn't have to be your FI). If you hate running, don't run. If you love swimming...swim! I personally love to dance and go to dance classes between 4 and 6 times a week.
Try not to keep stepping on a scale, either. How you look and how you feel will tell you everything :) Good luck!
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