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Anyone else feeling the purse strings tightening?

posted 3 years ago in Money
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    ms tofu    September 7, 2009   LA/OC

    My fiance just got let go, again, do to budget cuts. He files for unemployment on Saturday.

    We have our venue and some vendors booked already, so pushing back the wedding probably wouldn't work to well. We are already scrimping on a lot of things (dress rentals, no video (tear), Monday wedding, and no entree options for our guests (would you like chicken or... chicken?). 

    I feel so uncertain and stressed! I just want my dream wedding, but we can't afford it, especially now that fiance lost his job (and he was bringing in more than his fair half..). 

    I guess I just need some reassurance. Will our guests hate us for not giving them beef? Or if we keep the alcohol flowing, they won't even notice? Will I regret not having a professional videographer? Will I regret not owning my wedding dress (I'm going to try to rent)? Do we REALLY need party favors?

    Thanks!

     
    2.
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    Worker bee
    sarakat28    6/6/09   washington, DC

    Could you include a Vegetarian option, like maybe a pasta for people who don't like chicken?  It may even be cheaper than the chicken.  Don't feel bad not offering beef, not everyone can afford lobster tail and filet for hundreds of their closest friends, and anyone who would get mad for it is unreasonable. 

    I don't think you will regret renting your wedding dress, you will always have the pictures and the memories.  If you are the type of person who clings to mementos, or want to hand it down to your children, you could consider buying a used one (but I know very few people who wear their mother's old gown).  Favors are not a necessity at all, a friend of mine didn't have any and noone noticed to the day after and noone really cared either.  I would say the photographer is important to have, but you can find really good ones for not too much money.  As for videography, just ask a family member or friend to record the ceremony and parts of the reception if you feel like it is something you would really want. 

    I have experienced stress from planning my wedding, but I try to take a step back when that happens and realize that your engagement only happens once (hopefully) and you should try to enjoy it as best you can.

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    1. Anyone else feeling the purse strings tightening? :  wedding Img MAG3.jpg (43.7 KB, 47 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Worker bee
    fubabee    March 2010   NYC

    I think you'll be just fine. Don't let the stress get to you. There will be enough cameras all around and people will take video clips of your celebration to share. You don't need favors. Just thank everyone for coming at the end.  In the end, everyone who shows up will have a great time.

     
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    Helper bee
    catrelle83    05/09/09   Mobile, AL

    I think you're going to be fine.  I found myself unexpectedly unemployed, and yes, it's put a damper on some things we'd like to do, and some optioins just aren't in the budget now, but in the end, you can't let things like the ecomomy take away from what's important to you.  Never forget (if you have to, write it on your mirror in your bathroom or on a sticky note stuck to your steering wheel to remind you) that at the end of the day, the wedding is about YOU and YOUR HUSBAND.  Who cares if there isn't beef, or if you don't have a bajillion dollars in favors, or if you paid 3x as much to buy a dress that ultimately is going to take up space in your wedding.

    Enjoy being a bride.  Enjoy the process.,  And don't sweat the small stuff.  The ecomony is hurting everyone right now....including your guests.  

     
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    Sugar bee
    slicey19      

    I don't think you need to offer an entre choice and I'm from the north east (now realize this is regional) so an open bar is not expected. Think of your guests, someone must own a video camera, just ask if they could capture a couple of "highlights" and you will have some video without the cost of a professional. Do you really need hours of wedding footage? As for the dress, think about why wou could potentially want to have it in the future and if there is a significant reason consider buying a non bridal wedding dress by way of a bridesmaid dress or a simple white dress from the mall. If you watch the J.Crew sale you can often find a simple silk version for $200 or less. Otherwise renting will save you the cost of the dress along with the cost of cleaning so I think it'S a good choice. Your wedding will be great becasue of the commitment you make, I certainly don't go to weddings for the food.

     
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    Helper bee
    ms tofu    September 7, 2009   LA/OC

    Thank you everyone for your kind words! We ultimately just started slashing at the guest list. Hopefully, things turn around soon - for everyone! I know too many people either out of a job or fearing they will be out of a job.

    And you guys are right - in the end, its just about the two of us. 

    Thanks!

     
    7.
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    Bumble bee
    MissEdamame    July 2009  

    Good luck to you and your fiance.. Instead of trying to personalize your day with little details that are going to add a significant amount to your budget, why not find the "free" ways to personalize your day to truly make it special? You could write your own vows, choose a few special passages for friends to read during the ceremony (or ask a linguistically gifted friend to possibly write something original!), and write something beautiful to tell the guests at the reception how much you truly appreciate them for attending (which will be appreciated much more than some trinket most people won't even use). Instead of fretting about favors, try to schedule your reception so that you and your fiance will have plenty of time to speak to each individual table and thank individuals personally. I personally prefer to have a few minutes to talk to the bride at the reception because she has taken the time to visit each table.

     I know budget concerns weigh heavily on everyone's minds these days. But I think it is more important to realize that the most memorable moments are the simple, heartfelt, personalized moments that are most important. Good luck in your planning!

     
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    Blushing bee
    JenineD    May 30, 2009   Niagara Falls, NY

    I am sorry to hear about that. I think no matter what happens I'm sure your guest will understand fully being if they are close enough to you and your families they know what you two are going through. Videographer, I'm not having one! but, if you really want one you should ask someone if they could do one for you with their home camcorder. Favors are nice but not something that would be greatly missed. WOW I didn't know you could rent a dress? That's really a great idea, cause what are you going to do with it after anyway? Give it to your daughter to wear? First you have to have one and then is she really going to want to wear it in 20 something years? LOL! Well anyway good luck with everything and I know it will all work out just fine for you and everyone will completely understand. Don't forget the most important thing, music and drinks is what everyone wants.

     
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    Worker bee
    Mrs. T    5/16/09   Yakima WA

    You totally dont need favors they wont be missed. if you are wanting some alchol than maybe if you did wine and beer thats enough its ok to skip on the open bar.  I think the last thing you need to do is go more extravigent than you can afford.  I think that the worst thing for a new marriage is to start it off in debt from your wedding.  Have you considered serving just order appitizers and dessert?  Remember that your guest are there for you and to congratulate and celebrate your marriage, the meal is just an add bonus.

    Attachments

    1. Anyone else feeling the purse strings tightening? :  wedding Img red.JPG (1466.8 KB, 32 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Anyone else feeling the purse strings tightening? :  wedding Img red1.JPG (1433.9 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old
     

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