As the big day nears, I've turned into a total mess. Has anyone else experienced this? Crying at the drop of a hat (with completely non-wedding related stimuli, like commercials), feeling exhausted even though I've gotten a normal amount of sleep. Today, 11 days out, I broke into hysterical, HYSTERICAL tears at work when I thought about the fact that I'll be trapped in my horrible job due to wedding debt. It was very embarrassing. I don't have any doubts about my fiance, and my wedding will be really simple and laid-back, so I don't get it. I feel depressed and terrified. What's going on? Can anyone relate? Any psychologist bees out there that can help?!
DOn't worry! I'm here We're getting married this weekend and yes.... I'm going nuts! I do have small erges to punch people! LOL I've literally block many things from my head. It's too close to deal with stupid stuff. ANd things I need to voice my opinion on...like wanting to add more people to our horribly long guest list! Oh yea.... I busted out with "I didn't add so and so to our list b/c I basically don't give a S*** if I see them or not" Hey! I have to get my point across somehow right? gLuck! It's be over soon!
You're making a huge life decision and even though you know in your heart it's the right one, it's still scary as all hell. Remember back before graduation when you were so excited to move on but still stressed and worried and freaking about everything? Same thing's happening now, only now you're organizing the biggest party of your life on top of it! Add in money worries and it's a wonder we can function at all in the weeks right before the big day.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself you are doing this to celebrate your love and not for any other reason. Spend one evening alone with your fiance by candlelight and see if you don't feel better on the other side. Don't ban wedding talk, just put away the lists and the computers and the programs and reconnect with him and you. That's what this is all about. It helped me tremendously. Hope it helps you!
It's normal..It's just that some people handle the stress better than others. You and I don't handle it as well as others. Hang in there, babe! Just keep thinking about who you are marrying, why, who will be there to witness such an amazing event, and all that life has to offer you both after the wedding as you continue together in marriage!
We're 51 days out and I'm exactly the same way... though i don't think my stress has anything to dow ith the wedding so much as it does my job, that yes, I am also tied to because of credit card debt from grad school. This past weekend I ended up at the dermatologist with a huge rash all over my face :-( The diagnosis? Stress. So at this point, i know I want to look good and feel good for the wedding (and my husband to be!) and that comes first. Luckily my job is pretty flexible, but I'm going in to work in sweats so i can go to a meeting and then work out directly afterwards. I'll shower at work and continue on with my day. Point being, you need to look out for yourself because no one else will. Make sure you fit in time to work out, eat right, and think about how awesome your day is going to be. Hang in there, it's almost over!!!
I feel for you! Being stuck in a horrible job for financial reasons is terrible! I was in the same boat for a long time. I just couldn't quite because the money was so good!
I'm no where near as close as you to the wedding but when I was in the airport last weekend going to pick out where the wedding is going to be, they somehow lost my ticket reservation. After being patient and nice for over 3 hours (yes, I said 3 hours standing at the ticket counter) I lost it. Crying, upset, telling them they have horrible customer service... I was talking on the phone to the airline while some jerk as trying to find my reservation from the confirmation email I had printed off.
I agree with the advice the other bees have given you. This is a huge change in your life and even though you know it's the right one, it can still be very stressful. Do something you love to do (read a book, listen to music, watch a movie and drink wine with your girlfriends). It'll all work out so hang in there girl!
The last week is emotional hell. Hopefully you have some girlfriends and family who understand this!! I was sure that it was going to be a breeze - after all, I handle stress really well. Luckily my girlfriends and my sister (all married) knew better, and managed to convince me to take more time off and take it easy. One of them scheduled me a spa day, a couple of them kidnapped me and simply took over and did for me all the little things that were left, while I sat in enforced idleness and drank gin and tonics. My husband and his friends collaborated by refusing to let me do any of the running and picking up and delivering (the best laugh I had all week was at the photo of them all in their best Friday-off crappy old t-shirts and shorts in the bridal salon to pick up my dress and veil). In another week, you will be wondering why everything seemed like such a crisis, but the fact is you're going through a lot of changes! In my job they always emphasize that change is stressful, and takes an emotional and physical toll, even if it is good change. So try to be good to yourself, let everybody help you, and remember how much they all love you, even when you are a b*tchy, crying mess.
there's just sooo long you can handle a huge amount of stress before you began to crack. don't worry...you wont break. we always push thru somehow.
i understand the stress. i just put in my 2 week resignation and on the same day found out that the state wants to garnish taxes from my paycheck. i've resigned in an economy that is not presently known to have a lot of jobs available. i'm relocating to my FI city so there is no choice in the matter.....
we are no longer clear on how all the costs of the wedding are going to be covered. we've got 6 weeks to go. major contributors have pulled out or are mightly silent bc of their own financial strain.
i understand. we'll pull thru this....have faith and pray.
I still have 8 months to go before my big day, but let me tell you, I know I'm going to freak out as it approaches. I'm a strange kind of person who functions differently on differnt types/levels of stress, but the personal stress and emotions I'm going to feel will drive me crazy too, I know it. I remember freaking out my whole senior year of both high school and college...I had a panic attack the night before my graduation exams for college and nearly blew them. Right now I'm experiencing nightmares about the big day going horribly wrong. LoL. I'm told it gets worse before it gets better! Just know you're not alone!
Oh dear, I feel for you! The month before the wedding I cried about EVERYTHING. If our puppy had an accident, I was in hysterics, if I heard a song on the radio, I cried. I agree with everyone above, it's perfectly normal to be stressing out. Just take some time to yourself (hard I know) but even a coffee in the morning might make you feel better. The morning of my wedding, I was freaking out, and my little brother came in and we rocked out to the new Weezer cd while I got ready. It made me feel so much better and my stress seemed to melt away.
Good luck, remember you're not alone. You have your friends, FI, family and of course The Hive all here for you! :)
As the big day nears, I've turned into a total mess. Has anyone else experienced this? Crying at the drop of a hat (with completely non-wedding related stimuli, like commercials), feeling exhausted even though I've gotten a normal amount of sleep. Today, 11 days out, I broke into hysterical, HYSTERICAL tears at work when I thought about the fact that I'll be trapped in my horrible job due to wedding debt. It was very embarrassing. I don't have any doubts about my fiance, and my wedding will be really simple and laid-back, so I don't get it. I feel depressed and terrified. What's going on? Can anyone relate? Any psychologist bees out there that can help?!
posted by lofi 10 posts 2 months agoDOn't worry! I'm here
We're getting married this weekend and yes.... I'm going nuts! I do have small erges to punch people! LOL I've literally block many things from my head. It's too close to deal with stupid stuff. ANd things I need to voice my opinion on...like wanting to add more people to our horribly long guest list! Oh yea.... I busted out with "I didn't add so and so to our list b/c I basically don't give a S*** if I see them or not" Hey! I have to get my point across somehow right? gLuck! It's be over soon!
posted by NorCalBride 307 posts 2 months agoYou're making a huge life decision and even though you know in your heart it's the right one, it's still scary as all hell. Remember back before graduation when you were so excited to move on but still stressed and worried and freaking about everything? Same thing's happening now, only now you're organizing the biggest party of your life on top of it! Add in money worries and it's a wonder we can function at all in the weeks right before the big day.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself you are doing this to celebrate your love and not for any other reason. Spend one evening alone with your fiance by candlelight and see if you don't feel better on the other side. Don't ban wedding talk, just put away the lists and the computers and the programs and reconnect with him and you. That's what this is all about. It helped me tremendously. Hope it helps you!
posted by Lizliterarius 34 posts 2 months agoIt's normal..It's just that some people handle the stress better than others. You and I don't handle it as well as others. Hang in there, babe! Just keep thinking about who you are marrying, why, who will be there to witness such an amazing event, and all that life has to offer you both after the wedding as you continue together in marriage!
posted by JCM9608 466 posts 2 months agoWe're 51 days out and I'm exactly the same way... though i don't think my stress has anything to dow ith the wedding so much as it does my job, that yes, I am also tied to because of credit card debt from grad school. This past weekend I ended up at the dermatologist with a huge rash all over my face :-( The diagnosis? Stress. So at this point, i know I want to look good and feel good for the wedding (and my husband to be!) and that comes first. Luckily my job is pretty flexible, but I'm going in to work in sweats so i can go to a meeting and then work out directly afterwards. I'll shower at work and continue on with my day. Point being, you need to look out for yourself because no one else will. Make sure you fit in time to work out, eat right, and think about how awesome your day is going to be. Hang in there, it's almost over!!!
posted by ktdid23 105 posts 2 months agoI feel for you! Being stuck in a horrible job for financial reasons is terrible! I was in the same boat for a long time. I just couldn't quite because the money was so good!
I'm no where near as close as you to the wedding but when I was in the airport last weekend going to pick out where the wedding is going to be, they somehow lost my ticket reservation. After being patient and nice for over 3 hours (yes, I said 3 hours standing at the ticket counter) I lost it. Crying, upset, telling them they have horrible customer service... I was talking on the phone to the airline while some jerk as trying to find my reservation from the confirmation email I had printed off.
I agree with the advice the other bees have given you. This is a huge change in your life and even though you know it's the right one, it can still be very stressful. Do something you love to do (read a book, listen to music, watch a movie and drink wine with your girlfriends). It'll all work out so hang in there girl!
posted by LittleBear 77 posts 2 months agoThe last week is emotional hell. Hopefully you have some girlfriends and family who understand this!! I was sure that it was going to be a breeze - after all, I handle stress really well. Luckily my girlfriends and my sister (all married) knew better, and managed to convince me to take more time off and take it easy. One of them scheduled me a spa day, a couple of them kidnapped me and simply took over and did for me all the little things that were left, while I sat in enforced idleness and drank gin and tonics. My husband and his friends collaborated by refusing to let me do any of the running and picking up and delivering (the best laugh I had all week was at the photo of them all in their best Friday-off crappy old t-shirts and shorts in the bridal salon to pick up my dress and veil). In another week, you will be wondering why everything seemed like such a crisis, but the fact is you're going through a lot of changes! In my job they always emphasize that change is stressful, and takes an emotional and physical toll, even if it is good change. So try to be good to yourself, let everybody help you, and remember how much they all love you, even when you are a b*tchy, crying mess.
posted by suzanno 1,953 posts 2 months agoditto to everyone above.....
there's just sooo long you can handle a huge amount of stress before you began to crack. don't worry...you wont break. we always push thru somehow.
i understand the stress. i just put in my 2 week resignation and on the same day found out that the state wants to garnish taxes from my paycheck. i've resigned in an economy that is not presently known to have a lot of jobs available. i'm relocating to my FI city so there is no choice in the matter.....
we are no longer clear on how all the costs of the wedding are going to be covered. we've got 6 weeks to go. major contributors have pulled out or are mightly silent bc of their own financial strain.
i understand. we'll pull thru this....have faith and pray.
posted by GetMarried4Less 403 posts 2 months agoI still have 8 months to go before my big day, but let me tell you, I know I'm going to freak out as it approaches. I'm a strange kind of person who functions differently on differnt types/levels of stress, but the personal stress and emotions I'm going to feel will drive me crazy too, I know it. I remember freaking out my whole senior year of both high school and college...I had a panic attack the night before my graduation exams for college and nearly blew them. Right now I'm experiencing nightmares about the big day going horribly wrong. LoL. I'm told it gets worse before it gets better! Just know you're not alone!
posted by BriLJL 99 posts 2 months agoOh dear, I feel for you! The month before the wedding I cried about EVERYTHING. If our puppy had an accident, I was in hysterics, if I heard a song on the radio, I cried. I agree with everyone above, it's perfectly normal to be stressing out. Just take some time to yourself (hard I know) but even a coffee in the morning might make you feel better. The morning of my wedding, I was freaking out, and my little brother came in and we rocked out to the new Weezer cd while I got ready. It made me feel so much better and my stress seemed to melt away.
Good luck, remember you're not alone. You have your friends, FI, family and of course The Hive all here for you! :)
posted by mrshudson 42 posts 2 months ago