Post # 1
I was shocked by the reactions of two friends whom I thought were really close.
One sounded like she couldn’t care less and then said, behind my back, that weddings such as mine end in divorce (me and my FI have known each other 6 months).
The other barely says a positive thing abut my engagement and simply criticises my decision to get married, and when I gave her 7 months notice of my wedding date, she said she wasn’t sure if she could make it given its a Friday… this is someone who is meant to be a good friend.
Post # 3
🙁 I’m sorry you got some not-so-exhuberant reactions!
But…CONGRATULATIONS 🙂 !! Very exciting! (I’m still waiting…can ya tell?!?)
Post # 4
Rude! Re: the first comment, why do people feel the need to comment at all? Obviously you know the statistics as much as she does, and you made your decision. You’re not am idiot. Ugh that annoys me.
Post # 5
My best friend has been less than thrilled about my upcoming wedding. My FI works in an office with her, as does his ex-wife’s best friend. Now mind you, FI’s ex-wife had an affair with HER cousin, but the gossip around the office was all bad about him. And my best friend believes the gossip over me. (Mind you…there office employs hundreds of people, and she doesn’t work directly with FI, so she hasn’t had any bad experiences with him herself.)
We are having a courthouse wedding and a reception afterward. I thought about not inviting her, but since other people from the office will be there, I changed my mind. I don’t know if she’ll come.
Post # 6
When I got engaged my mom wasnt to thrilled and some ppl from her church made comments. Why? Hell if I know. Well my mom got over it but a “friend” of the family txted me that my relationship wasnt from God. HUH REALLY??? ARE YOU GOD HIMSELF??? I didnt invite her to my wedding and it hurt my mom more than me but you know what I celebrated my wedding with those that did care and if they dont give a rat’s ass about your happiness then let them know and move on
Post # 7
I dont like the comment about weddings like yours end in divorce.. It doesnt matter how long you have known eachother for or have been dating for.. I wouldnt be happy hearing that from a friend.
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 8
They are jealous. I am so sorry you have to deal with people less than exciting for you. I have learned in the last few months who are the true friends and who aren’t. The ones that are exciting for you when you are excited are the true friends. Also, just because you have dated 7 months doesn’t mean that you will divorce it means that you found something so amazing with each other than you can’t wait to start a permanent life together. Don’t listen to her, just keep her informed of your plans and spend more time with your true friends.
Post # 9
How rude! How old are you? I only ask because I think it makes a difference in how people view engagements after a short time. Just enjoy your engagement and let the haters hate – clearly they aren’t very good friends to begin with!
Post # 10
@ricangen81: Oh no she didn’t… Stuff like that just infuriates me to no effing end.
I had a few similar issues when I told people I was moving to another state to be with SO. A few seemed like it was too fast (we’d known each other as aquaintances for 6 years at the time, together 4 months) and talked about being “concerned that I was moving too quick”. I was bothered by the comments, but I knew what felt right. I didn’t want to wait years to be with him every day.
Post # 11
these people are not your friends. Don’t worry about what they think.
Post # 12
Here’s a gem for you:
Me: Mom, we’ve decided to get married!
Her: (long silence) Well, congratulations I guess. (more silence) I mean, it’s not like it’s a big surprise, you bought a house together last year. But yes, great news!
Or here’s another:
Me: Beloved Aunt, we’ve decided to get married!
Her: Oh, that’s amazing CCG! But you’re going to keep it really low key, right? Because it is his second marriage.
Me: (long silence) Yes…….but it’s OUR first marriage.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and they love me (and him too). Sometimes you just have to not let it phase you….
Post # 13
@Glittergirl_2013: Jealousy and insecurity can rear it’s head when wedding planning. I saw it in my own wedding. It can come in the form of mocking, being overly critical and rude, or just being plain mean.
My DH and I were together for four months before we decided to get married. We did the ‘courtship” route ala the Duggar family vs tradition dating. We have been happily married 11 months. I know my former teacher married her husband after 3 weeks and they’ve been married 20 years!
As long as you two feel it’s right and you do premaritial couseling, go for it.
That being said, they sound jealous. Ignore them and enjoy your future DH. Plan your wedding, send them invites ifyou want to, and concentrate on the good.
Post # 14
No. All of my friends were expecting it from us and very happy for us.
You have only known each other for six months, so I’m sorry to say that negative reactions should be anticipated from loved ones. They react negatively only because they care (although some could have done it without the very rude comments.) The two of you will just have to do your best to ensure your loved ones that you have thought it through and are very serious about spending the rest of your lives together. They will come around by the wedding I’m sure 🙂
Post # 15
I know it’s extremely hurtful for these kinds of things to happen. I’ve noticed some women react really jealously when they find out about an engagement. I had two friends do that to me. Some women are just in a lot of pain emotionally when they see other people living out their dreams.
Some people in my family really didn’t like the guy I got engaged to either, and they reacted negatively because of that. I think it all depends upon the situation.
I wish you the best.
Post # 16
@Glittergirl_2013: I’m really sorry. Congrats to you though!
I can say that I have had the same experience. Never did I think such a happy time would bring out so many negative responses! I’ve actually lost a few friends because of all the negativity. I couldn’t not deal with it anymore. My FI is going through the same thing too. I thought guys would be different. Together we have had 3 drop out of our wedding party, so we had to replace them kind of last minute. It really sucks and I feel for anyone who has to go through that with friends…