Post # 1
I’m getting married February 2014 at the Sandals Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica. I invited a friend of my cousin’s (We’ll call her “O”) to the wedding. I’ve known that “O” was coming for a couple of months. When I originally had a conversation with her about the wedding she stated that she would probably stay a couple of extra days (the resort requires a 3 night stay) because her birthday is also in the month of February and she would celebrate her birthday while she was there.
This afternoon a friend of O’s sent a text message to my cousin stating that she was invited to Jamaica for the wedding but that she wanted to run it by her first. My cousin then shared this information with me. We both thought that it was ridiculous that someone would extend an invitation to a wedding to someone else without even speaking to the bride/groom about it.
To be honest I don’t mind if this person comes to the wedding. My thought is the more the merrier. I just think it’s quite odd that someone would do that.
Has this happened to anyone else?
Post # 3
@Janineforever: Weird, no. Rude, yes…to invite your own guest. However, not rude to invite someone along on the trip to spend the extra couple of days.
Post # 4
um you’re having a DW wedding at a couples resort that requires you to stay more than one night. I think she assumes that she gets a date whether that is an SO or friend, I know I would.
Post # 5
I invited my Uncle without a guest and he called my mom to tell her that he was bringing his new fling. I flipped and she said I will pay for her! But the point is, I don’t want random people at my wedding and I am not fond of her.
I also invited my mother’s boyfriend’s son without a guest and my mother told me he will be bringing a guest. She also said she would be paying for her, again, I don’t want random people at my wedding.
THe verdict: These unwanted guests are coming because my mother is stubborn and won’t tell them they cannot come. Since she is helping me pay for the hall, I don’t have much say
Post # 6
@Janineforever: You invited a single person to a wedding at a resort that’s for couples, really? I actually think the cousin’s logic was probably “ok, so I’m going to turn this into a vacation, and I want to bring a friend who I can hang out with the other 65 hours I’m there.”
I feel like with a DW, a +1 should be given to everyone, for the most part. #1 – it’s expensive to travel alone, and #2 – who wants to fly/drive long distances by themselves?
Post # 7
I had an extremely similar situation, except I was there when my invited guest thought up the idea and asked her friend to be her “date”. Fortunately it wasn’t a problem at all (I know the +1, I like her a lot, and she’s the replacement for the invited guest’s boyfriend, who can’t make it). She apologized when she realized she has put me on the spot, but I’m actually thrilled for the extra guest.
Post # 8
My uncle gave himself a +1, despite his invitation being addressed to him only, and his RSVP card having the number 1 on it.
Post # 9
@BlondeBee: I invited “O” to the wedding so that she could be my cousins guest. She then invited her friend (who I don’t know). Because the rooms are based on double occupancy, I’m assuming my new wedding guest will also be bringing a companion. So that makes 2 additional people that I’ve never met or heard of that will be guests at my wedding. This issue is not with them coming. I’m just confused as to how you invite anyone to a wedding that is not your own without making sure it’s okay with the bride/groom.
My father and grandmother invited a ton of people who were not originally on my list but they at least called me to make sure that it was okay to invite people.
Post # 10
Wait I’m confused… did you invite the friend of your cousin so that your cousin would have someone to spend the time with? and then THAT friend invited ANOTHER friend? if so that’s a bit crazy.
We’re having a DW as well so there will be lots of guests we don’t know.. for example my mom’s best friend is bringing her sister. if the SISTER invited a friend i would not be okay with it.
Post # 11
@mu_t: Yes I invited the friend as my cousin’s guest she then turned around and invited her friend. Her friend will now be bringing a guest.
I don’t mind extra people coming I just thought it weird that nothing was said to me.
Post # 12
@Janineforever: in that case it is wiered unless your cuz’s friend did not know she was your cuz’s date.
But I assume she would ahve so yeah that is not ok. It’s cool that you don’t mind though so you don’t have drama.
Post # 13
I think there’s a chance that she thinks she’s going along for the vacation and not the actual wedding. It makes sense that “O” wouldn’t want to hang out by herself and pay all the costs associated with the DW alone, nor would she want to celebrate her bday alone. If you don’t want her to bring her friend to the actual wedding (which she may not be planning to do anyway), I’d speak to her about it.
ETA: didn’t realize that “O” was the guest of a guest, so ignore the part about paying for the costs alone, but still if she planned on celebrating her bday, now she thinks it’s her party to invite guests to! Still might not plan on attending the actual wedding though?
Post # 14
@Janineforever: Maybe the cousin’s guest asked the couple to just go hang out with them and not attend your wedding?
Anyway, we did not send an invitation to DH’s parents’ neighbors but they were verbally invited behind our backs. DH’s childhood friend brought his girlfriend who was really not invited even verbally behind our backs. It’s just one of those things…what can you do right?
Background: Dh’s parents offered us X amount of money. DH and I decided we were going to elope and use the money for something else. MIL convinced us to compromised and have a very small family only wedding that they would plan and pay for. I agreed as long as it was family only. Found out the extra guest were coming the month before the wedding – I was very close to canceling the entire thing. I figured that the girlfriend would end up making it as well and I was right. I still resent and regret having a wedding. I should have eloped like I wanted.
Post # 15
@Janineforever: hmmm… well that makes no sense to me! An invited guest invited her own +1? Or is that a +1 once removed?
I find that strange, but do commend you for being flexible!
Post # 16
@Janineforever: i definitely wouldn’t be as relaxed/forgiving/understanding as you!