Post # 1
I am the type of person that hates to be surprised. Period. I am very Type A, I like to have all my ducks in a row and know exactly what to expect. I am also the type of person who plans everything out in their head to a t, and when it doesn’t happen exactly, I get disappointed. My SO has told me that we will be engaged in the next 6 months, but that is ALL he will tell me. He doesn’t let me have any part in the ring process, except to send him pictures of ones I like. He doesn’t ever want to talk about being engaged or the proposal process, and has actually had to ask me to stop bringing it up. I can’t help it though!!
Also, I keep planning our proposal in my head. I see something I like, and I think, oh, that would be perfect for my SO to do for me…but there is no way he can ever find it out! I have to stop myself from creating these scenarios in my head, because I am so afraid I will end up being disappointed when he doesn’t do something I have already been imagining. Ugh!! I just wish I could prepare myself better. Anyone else feel like this?
Post # 3
I hate surprises as well and believe me, being surprised with an engagement was so worth not having all my ducks in a row. I literally had no idea that he was proposing the day he did and I was wearing an NHL jersey, ripped jeans and flip flops. But, you know what, it was so us and it was perfect. I know it is difficult but, seriously, let him surprise you. The excitement you will have once it happens is so worth it.
Post # 4
@arsing89: Thank you!! That definitely makes me feel a bit better about it. I am such a control freak sometimes, it is ridiculous. Congrats on your engagement 🙂
Post # 5
@blushblossom91: I’m glad I could make you feel a little better 🙂 And thank you!
Post # 6
@blushblossom91: I’m the same way! My SO let me have a little bit of control in picking out the ring (I know it’s a solitaire and one carat, but other than that I don’t know the setting) and I’m pretty sure it’s in the apartment as of today, but I have no idea when he’ll propose (actually, it’ll be soon) and it’s still. killing. me. !!!!!!! So I can imagine your pain, I’d be dying with that limited amount of knowledge!!! Haha why do we do this to ourselves?? I have to keep reminding myself that he loves me and he *will* propose and we *will* get married. It also helps me that I have control of other parts of the wedding process. For example I’ve been looking at tons of dresses online! And he can’t see them because he’ll be in the dark about it for over a year teehee. And vent away, girl!! That helps so much.
Post # 7
Well I’m very Type A and don’t like surprises, so I told my SO I wanted to pick the ring and I didn’t want a proposal lol. It worked for us.
I’m not normally disappointed, though… I generally expect the worst.
Post # 8
Wow, I could have written this post myself! This describes me to the T. I always need to be in control, I’m a serial over-planner, and I hate surprises.
Weirdly, I’m also a romantic at heart and have a vision of what my “dream” proposal would be. It helps to remember that the wedding is all about the bride, and the proposal is the one thing that is your man’s, 100%. I know (firsthand) how hard it is to just let go and let him do his thing, but think about how happy it will make him to see the look on your face when he pulls off his big plan : )
Post # 9
@blushblossom91: I am also very type A, and I don’t like surprises. I was fortunate enough to go with my DH to pick out my ring.
However, that being said, I think I can get used to surprises. Long story short, DH planned a surprise weekend a few weekends ago. It took him 6 months to plan. He took off work for me without me knowing and planned every single event all by himself. I had no idea where I was going, what I was doing, if we’d be on time for anything. I was a mess, but he had it all planned out, and it rocked! I realize my husband DOES pay attention to what I like and don’t like and that he is perfectly capable of planning a romantic getaway weekend without my grubby little fingers having to be all over it.
I think sometimes we don’t give the men in our lives enough credit, but, being a type A planner, I understand how tough it is!
Post # 10
Thanks everyone! It’s nice to know that there are others similar to me, who are just as control-freaky! I am so glad I can vent on here, it saves my poor SO from any potential nagging. The absolute last thing I want to do is pressure him.
Post # 11
I had a thousand plans in my head… And then he proposed near the Bridal Veil Falls at Niagara Falls! And surprised me with an engagement party after.
Talk about a MILLION times better than anything I could have come up with!
Post # 12
@blushblossom91: I don’t really hate surprises. Just kidding. I hate surprises LOL!!
SO and my Mom conspired to get me a puppy Xmas two years ago. They made it seem like it wasn’t going to happen….even though we discussed it and it was supposed to happen. I was freaking out–If I’m getting a puppy…don’t I need food? Leash? Collar? Kennel? Dog Toys? Treats?
………I did something I’m not proud of–WENT THROUGH MY SO’S PHONE. And found out he was talking to my Mom. And they had this entire day planned with lunch and picking up the puppy. LOL SO lost it because I don’t have an iphone, don’t know how they work…and I didn’t cover my tracks to well. I mean he went on for weeks about how I don’t trust him because I was snooping to find out about my dog!!
Long story short (And I know unrelated to proposals haha but shared it anyway)–I know that SO has mentioned in passing about 1 year ago that HIS proposal will be awesome and HE’S got some ideas on how he wants it to play out. He hasn’t dropped any hints about anything, but has given me the green light to start dreaming up some wedding ideas….I feel like it’s coming in the next year…maybe even 6 months lol. But I refuse to snoop this time and ruin the surprise after it caused such an issue last time.
What has helped me the most?!?!?!? I started a wedding savings account that SO knows about. We’ve discussed that he plans to help pay for the wedding too…but I figured the least I can do is save up to get a jump start on paying for the day. I’d hate to not get proposed to until a year from today…and not have anything but emergency savings to try and figure out saving for….when we could have been saving this entire time.
WOW this is long!! Hang in there!!
Post # 13
@blushblossom91: I hate surprises too! This is the one thing I have to “let go” on, and it drives me nuts.
Post # 14
I don’t like surprises. But let him do it his way or you might regret it.