And yet another day when my SO refered to himself as "Boyfriend". If we were teenagers or been dating for two or four years then I wouldn't mind it. However SO and I have been together for 7 and a half years.
I mentally screw up my face when I hear him say it. Hate hate hate it.
What would you rather him say? What would you like to be called?
Partner/Other half/Significant Other.
I forgot to mention I'm 28 and he is 38.
I blew up at him about it in June. I hated being a girlfriend. I asked him if he wanted me to act like just a girlfriend, he said "no". Anyway, now is the time where is actually getting financially able to pay for the symbol of our commitment, yet yesterday he introduced me as his girlfriend, but it my head it sounded like "this is my Fi-Girlfriend...". I hate it. I have just started calling him my Spouce, Hubby Bear, or when we are infront of our cat, Papa.
We say boyfriend/girlfriend because it's what we are and I don't feel right saying spouse, partner, etc. but I just wish we were husband/wife already. That's what it feels like we are! The one thing I don't like saying is "I live with my boyfriend", we're 28 and 37, own a home, both have professional careers, and saying that just makes me feel like I'm 19 again.
I just have to say I never called DH my "fiance." I called him my BF until we were married - I hated to say "fiance"!
I hear you. I hate calling him "boyfriend" too (although it has nothing to do with age or how long we've been together). The term just seems too casual, like he could be my boyfriend today, and tomorrow I could be on to a new guy.
Okay, maybe it does have somewhat to do with age, but in a different way. I am young, so most people around me are in casual dating relationships and not serious partnerships. By saying "boyfriend" it's like I get lumped into the former group.
Which is why on here I refer to him as my SO. And most everyone I speak to knows him, so I just refer to him by his first name and avoid the boyfriend term entirely.
DH and I were in our mid 40s when we met, and I agree that, at least to some people, it may sound a bit silly to say "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" at that age.
We only dated in person (we were introduced online) for five months before we became engaged and started using fiance/fiancee (sorry, I don't know how to make the accent marks), but I don't really recall using the "boyfriend" word much, if at all. I just referred to him by his first name or as the guy I was dating.
I know DH referred to me as his girlfriend at least once, when he decided to tell some people that he had finally met someone! When one of the older ladies at church (DH is the pastor) complimented him on the tie he was wearing, he surprised her and a few others within earshot by saying, "Thanks! My girlfriend gave it to me!" Of course, everyone who overheard was extremely happy for him! :)
I hate boyfriend too.. It always reminds me of that scene in My Girl : ".. well, he was a boy.. and he was my friend..??.."
I thought boyfriend was an approprite term for my DH until we were engaged. We were together for 3 years, and we were 24 when we became engaged.
I think the trouble people have with the term "boyfriend" is that it gives no indication of commitment. "Boyfriend" could indicate anything from a 2 week long relationship to a 10+ year long relationship. Obviously "fiance" and "husband" suggest a much stronger commitment. The honest truth is that boyfriend is still, technically, appropriate even after 7 years, as long as you are not engaged or married.
If it's bothering you, ask your SO if he wouldn't mind not using that term.
I hate that term too!!!!! Goodness gracious. But what is even more interesting is that I also dont like to say the word 'Fiancé'.lol Weird, I know. I just call him my man. He has proposed officially but in the process of getting the ring which he said I should have before the end of the year so he calls me his Fiancé
Before we were engaged I also hated the term, but we used it because that is what we were, boyfriend/girlfriend. We were not fiances yet, so I didn't want to be called one until I was engaged.
@Brielle: He is also a Pastor. It's been an interesting experience to say the least.:)
@redheadem: I agree! For some reason 'fiance' just doesn't come out naturally. I say 'boyfriend' quickly and then have to stop and think before I correct it to 'fiance'. I don't mind the term 'boyfriend'
@redheadem: I hated "fiance" too. I just called him my boyfriend until we were married.
@redheadem: Personally, I liked fiance. I like husband best though!
When I think back, I didn't have much opportnity to say fiance. It was mostly his family who used it when they introduced me to people "This is Josh and his fiancee". I think I maybe only said it max 5 times the whole year I was engaged lol.
@FrannyW: I have no problem with the term girlfiend, in fact even after we were engaged we continued calling eachother boyfriend/girlfriend because the word fiance makes me gag
I think you have deeper issues--as in perhaps you want to be a spouse or partner at this juncture....nothing wrong with that
@Butterfly6: So nice to know there are other current or soon-to-be pastors' wives in the Hive! :) It is definitely a high-profile role that can, at times, be challenging. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to "talk." :)
Ehh, I dated DH almost 7 years before we got engaged, and calling him boyfriend didn't bother me, because that's what he was. People who know you well will know you have been together a long time and recognize it as a serious relationship. I don't think just calling him boyfriend versus something else makes it seem more or less serious. Just be secure in your own relationship, and don't worry about small distinctions like this and how people outside your close friends and family see them, because they really just don't matter, and I think obsessing on them could harm your relationship in the long term.
@FrannyW: Hah. I know exactly how you feel! FH and I were dating for 4 years, friends for 7, and I hated being just his little girlfriend. I felt he was much more to me than just a boyfriend. He felt the same, but wouldn't say anything because it'd blow his proposal surprise. Now, I can't call him fiance because it feels weird to me - I guess it's because the word is french and it just doesn't fit in english!
I know where you're coming from though. How about he introduces himself as "man of the hour" haha. Jk.
Hate hate hate it. We have been together for 8 years and living together for 3, I really feel that the nature of our relationship has changed since we were 17 and yet I'm still just his "girlfriend." I'm really looking forward to being able to use the term fiancé because even though nothing actually will change in terms of our committment to each other, I feel like it gives the relationship more appropriate standing.
I know I shouldn't care what other people think and be secure in the knowledge of my strong relationship, but it does bother me.
I hated referring to my FI as BF before we were engaged. We lived together, had lived together for years, were coming up on our 6 year anniversary and it just wasn't the right term for it, despite the technicality that that's exactly what he was. But partner sounded weird, spouse indicates marriage. Even to his friends he didn't like calling me his girlfriend, he'd just call me his "woman" in the most loving way possible. Lol.
My mom had even introduced him as her future son-in-law and my fiance more than a few times before our engagement. Even she agreed that our actual titles just didn't seem right for us!
Has anyone seen the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Kramer and Elaine go to a party and this woman keeps going on about her "fiance" this and that? It is great, but totally made me find the word fiance weird too! I just go by his name or nicknames. =)
i hate it toooooo - it just seems so juvenille.
sometimes i just say hubby, but he always calls me GF.
makes me feel like i am in highschool lol.
I can't stand the boyfriend/girlfriend thing either. We have been together for 4 years living together for nearly 3, share finances. Are co-parenting his daughter who I refer to as my step daughter. And i'm pregnant. But if i had to chose between that and any form of "baby mama" I'd chose girlfriend. Don't get me STARTED on baby mama. ugh
@MisStine: I hate 'baby mama'--it's so offensive and doesn't even make a distinction as to whether or not the parents are still in a relationship!
I hated "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" as soon as I got to an age where I no longer considered myself a girl, but a woman and now FI a man and not a boy.
We did use those terms though...I guess we didn't think of any viable alternatives but partner, SO would have been preferable.
I always use FI now, will never go back to boyfriend.
And I try to be really careful not to call women "girls" or men "boys" just in casual conversation. Sometimes it slips in.
@athame1983: i had an acquaintance call me that after we had told them. I swear i turned into one of those big twilight wolves. it wasn't pretty. SO just stood back and laughed when i was done said yeah not something to say to a pregnant girl. lol
I never really had an issue with the term boyfriend, but I'm not sure how much me and FI ever used that term. I think the only time it ever came up was when meeting someone for the first time, when the meeting wasn't pre-planned or I wasn't meeting people FI was all that close with.
When being introduced to our respective families, and friends, it was just simply "this is John" and "this is Jane". I think gf term came up more then bf ever did, since we attended his high school reunion together while dating, and various events his church put on.
Anyone close to us didn't ever need the verification that we were dating by us using those terms. Although everyone seems to love using the terms fiance and fiancee when they make an introduction. Especially his family, I guess that comes from him being the youngest child and the only boy, both his sisters are older and married with kids, and FI is 35 himself.
Yup I hated it too... especially after dating for 6 years and being 26 and 28 :/
I still find myself calling him that though even after we got engaged; habit I guess.
How about "beau"? I'm not sure what the feminine equivalent would be, though. Then there's also "gentleman caller", "suitor", "lady friend", etc. :) My FIL apparently used to call his wife his "best girl" when they were dating.
My fiancé and I still sometimes call each other boyfriend and girlfriend even tho we engaged. We aren't kids 28 and 29 years old. No big deal
I've never calle him my boyfriend because since he is 19 years older it just seems weird! He's my Manfriend! And I'm his Young Lady, which I love. Sometimes I'll refer to him as my Sweetheart. I loathe the term partner. So unromantic.
Personally, it's the term "partner' that I am not a fan of, and the reason is stupid. Any time I hear someone refer to their "partner," my mind automatically thinks of a homosexual relationship. And before anyone jumps down my throat about anything, I am very accepting and tolerant of ALL kind of relationships and have absolutely zero problems with same-sex couples. It's just that when I hear a woman say "My partner and I went out to supper last night," I automatically envision 2 women out at a restaurant, so if it is a heterosexual couple, it messes with my mind.?? :)
Also, "significant other" sounds too sterile and formal in my brain. But I totally agree with you, OP - I didn't really like the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' when my FI and I were dating. He was 30 and I was 27 and it made me feel like I was in junior high sometimes.
I hate it because I don't feel like it describes our relationship accurately. When I hear the term boyfriend I think of something casual and not serious. But we've been living common law for a year and a half now and are very serious about each other. It really annoys me when his mom introduces me as his girlfriend, makes me almost want to flinch. I keep calling him my future hubby now though and he doesn't mind. Can't wait till I can tell people I'm his wife one day.
You must log in to post.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| pengoala | 55 |
| Laurenplusalex | 43 |
| orangecountylicious | 41 |
| Rubbs | 35 |
| Chelwilly | 29 |
| wandering_gypsy | 27 |
| kat2014 | 24 |
| prettyinpink11 | 24 |
| Jrfischer54 | 24 |
| angelinthesnowxo | 23 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| EveryDayofForever | 14 |
| MaidMarian | 8 |
| gemgirl6 | 5 |
| NicoleLyn1218 | 4 |
| Loyalfox13 | 4 |
| Vegan | 3 |
| Marry Jane | 3 |
| prettyinpink11 | 3 |
| LeonardLady | 3 |
| Laurenplusalex | 3 |
