Post # 1
I hate it. I just hate it. Every year I shut off my phone and my facebook, and crawl into bed as early as possible so that it can be over.
FI knows this. This year, I was feeling ambitious. I told him I wanted to order Indian take-out, rent a movie, and have a friend over to play board games. He was into it, and I was actually feeling a little excited. Not a lot, but at least I wasn’t dreading it like I usually do.
Then his ex texts him and he volunteers to take the kids on my birthday. Of course, he asked me first, but he knows I would never tell him not to take his children. But now I’ve had to cancel the plans with my friend and I’m planning on sulking in my room all night again this year. I’m so upset with myself for letting myself get my hopes up.
(Please don’t try to convince me I can have fun with the kids here, or try to delve into that relationship. My relationship with FSC isn’t the issue. I’m just very sensitive about my birthday.)
Does anyone else feel this way about their birthday? Do you know why, or is it random? I don’t know why I started hating my birthday. It wasn’t always this way. For some reason, it just makes me feel worthless and awful.
Post # 3
@Tangled: I’ve had some pretty horrible birthday experiences. I used to get upset, but got over it after awhile. Now I try to enjoy them and get super excited. I can understand where you’re coming from though if you’ve had similar experiences to mine. I hope you are able to enjoy your birthday (happy birthday whenever that is!) and remember it’s a time to celebrate because it’s YOUR life. =)
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Why don’t youhave your Indian/movie night at the friend’s house? Or have him take the kidsout for the evening?
Post # 5
I’ve been hypersensitive about my birthday since my mother called me a bitch on my 11th. She meant it.
Last time I saw my brother, we were talking about my mother, and totally out of the blue he mentioned it. It was reassuring that he assured me that from his recollection, I’d done nothing to justify it – and that he was still shocked when he thought of it.
Since then, I can count the ‘good’ birthdays I’ve had on one hand. This year was particularly crap…I was stuck in a job I hated, suffering massively with panic attacks and stress (doctor ended up signing me off as unfit for work) and me and FI were so short on cash we couldn’t do anything. All I got was a cheap card…and we ended up having a massive argument over my job.
I know what you mean about feeling worthless and awful. My mother stopped giving me presents years ago…this year, I didn’t even get a card from her. My two brothers have never given me anything. My FMIL made out she thought my birthday was 10 days later than it was…and still didn’t bother sending a card. The card from my FI was all I got.
p.s. I got a small amount of money as a tax refund. I’ve ordered myself a ring as a late birthday present and it should be arriving tomorrow, so I’m feeling like tomorrow is my birthday mark 2!
Post # 6
I view it as just another day but I also get kind of bummed about it too. I very rarely do much of anything for it and most of the time over the last two years I haven’t gotten to see really any of my family or friends because of work, school or other conflicts. Last year I didn’t get to see FH and I only got to see my mom for about an hour. I know I shouldn’t complain about that, and it’s not like my birthday was ever some big to do, but I do wish that I could just hang out and not have anything else to do, like school, which is going to happen this year.
Post # 7
My low self esteem makes me feel undeserving of any attention so I try to avoid celebrating my birthday at all costs. My parents don’t do anything other than call (I don’t answer) and leave a happy bday vm and I don’t tell my kids (they are 5 and 7) when it is. It really bothers SO that I am that way but I have been since I was a teen. Just is what it is!
Post # 8
I figure that, if you have to grow older you may as well have cake and a day where everyone has to be nice to you!
Post # 9
I love my birthday but only because I’m obsessed with Halloween and my birthday is October 28th so the closest weekend to my birthday there is ALWAYS Halloween parties. I’m not a fan of getting older, I never get cake and I rarely get gifts but Halloween is a great time to celebrate.
Post # 10
I LOVE my birthday. Then again, I’m an only child and the first grandchild (and my cousin is 7 years younger/wasn’t around much), so I got lots of presents and attention for my birthday growing up. I love getting Facebook posts, birthday cards, presents (even if it’s something dumb! last year one of my coworkers at my new job colored in a picture of Spongebob from a coloring book), etc.
FI hates his birthday, though. Combination of low self-esteem, depression, and feeling like he hasn’t done anything to celebrate. It’s sad, but I respect it. I usually make him a cookie cake and give him a handmade card.
Post # 11
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
I love my birthday but get a little stressed out trying to plan a party or decide what I want to do! I just had my 30th so I probably won’t have a big party again until my 40th. My idea of a nice bday these days is taking a weekend trip with my boyfriend, just to a rental cabin somewhere or a bed & breakfast. I’m sorry to all of you who hate your birthday!!
Post # 12
@Tangled: I like my birthday but I am usually happy everyday. When days come that are not the best I try to think of something I’m grateful for. If I didn’t have a birthday I would be dead. I’m happy to be alive, in good health and hey I have the bees on the internet to keep me amused. That’s a few things to be happy for right there. Then I get to go to the store and eat ice cream and cake guilt free, I’m good! Add a movie and I’m great. Add a little birthday nookie and heck I’m over the moon. I’m sending you all the joy your heart desires. xoxoxo
Post # 13
As an adult I LOVE my birthday. I’m sure I’ve always enjoyed, but now I absolutely love it. I do whatever the heck it is I want for 24 hours. It usually involves a manicure, yoga, frozen yogurt, starbucks, and sleeping in.
Post # 14
My birthday is on January 1. Which seems awesome until you realize that my actual birthday is what we refer to as the “international hangover day”. Sure, I have fun on new years eve, but I have not ever done anything fun on my actual birthday. Plus, who knew so many restaurants closed on jan 1?????
Post # 15
My birthday is at the end of August. I’ve always hated my birthday because that’s when school started up again. :/ Once I am finally out of grad school and don’t get summer breaks anymore, perhaps I’ll enjoy my birthday!
Post # 16
My birthday is two days before Christmas. I’ve always wanted to love my birthday, but it hasn’t happened yet.
As a kid, no one could ever come to my birthday party because it was either too close to the holidays or the weather was too bad or whatever. Then there’s always been the whole issue of people thinking it’s okay to get me a combined birthday/Christmas gift, even though my sister, whose birthday is in July, always got two separate gifts. When you’re a kid, that seems really unfair and hurtful, as if your birthday is just an afterthought.
As an adult, almost every birthday has been spent driving 9 hours to see family for Christmas, with the exception of two on which I worked 12 hour days because I was a retail store manager at that time and the mall had extended hours that had to be covered.
This year will be the first birthday I don’t have to sit in a car all day and since I’m now in Australia, it will be the first summer birthday I get. So maybe this year will be better. 🙂