- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Wedding is still sort of far off, but because my sister is getting married on Sept 11, 2010 I honestly feel like it’s all weddings, all the time. Initially that wasn’t a bad thing, but now I think that I’m starting to really buckle under the stress.
I have an anxiety disorder. It ranges from fairly severe panic attacks to just not sleeping more then 3-4 hours a night (that might be why things are really starting to get to me). My biggest problem is that I have a hard time “turning off”, so I can almost obsess about issues for hours and one issue turns into another issue…and then I’m up at 3am on the ‘Bee. 🙂
I’m a complete people pleaser and this, combined with the anxiety, is making many things which should be fun…well…not so much fun. For example, registering. Many find this fun…I know my FI loves running around the store with the “gun”. I rationally KNOW that I’m doing this to be helpful to my guests, but I hate it. I’m concerned that his family will think that I’m a snob because of what we’re registering for…and I worry constantly about the cost of things. We’ve made a huge effort to have lots of stuff on the registry at different price points, so it’s not like I’m asking for all $100+ items, but I still worry about the judgey factor.
The other big issue for me is that my absolute biggest worry is that people won’t be comfortable at the reception. I want everyone to have an awesome, kick A#$ time, but I know that the kind of party we are throwing is VERY different then what his family think is normal wedding procedure. They are from a very small town and are used to a town hall, everyone is invited, family friendly events. My FI and I went to school in Toronto, and so all the weddings (other then family and friends of his from back home) that he has been to are more of what is expected in the city, with our friends (open bar, no kids, fancy-pants, essentially). For me, this is normal. I am SO paranoid about his family thinking that I’m putting on airs or that my family is…well…fancy-pants. It’s driving me nutso. As a result, we found a place that is more relaxed and has great food. I stressed over the food because I wanted it to be approachable and fun (think mini fish and chips…more like upscale bar food) because this is what my FI and I love. First thing my FSIL says when she sees the menu is “wow…this is really fancy”. D’oh. I cried for an hour…it happened 6 months ago and I still find it upsetting…not because I’m upset with her, but because I went through a lot to find something that I felt wasn’t fancy. lol
I feel like I’m being pulled in many different directions and I really can’t blame anyone but me. Both of our families are being fantastic, so it’s not like I’m getting a ton of demands, but I still worry.
Does anyone else struggle with anxiety and find that it is being made worse by planning a wedding?