Post # 1
FI moved in to my place in Feburary, from a house he had rented approximately 30 minutes away for the past 4 years. He wanted to go ahead & switch doctor, dentist, etc. to something more local & convenient.
However, he didn’t find a dentist until it was an emergency & had to have a tooth pulled, and I had to call around to find one. Now, he needs to see a doctor & I’ve had to find one accepting new patients. So, I called one today, got him an appointment for tomorrow morning at 9:15, and he emails back to tell me that he has a phone conference at 10 & will need to reschedule the appointment. GRRRRR!
Why can’t he just take care of this stuff himself?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t do it for him. A while ago when Mr Moo needed to see a doctor he told me he wasn’t registered with one. So he went out and did it himself – albeit a bit reluctantly. You’re not his secretary.
Post # 4
Because that’s your job now 😉
Post # 5
Mine does that and I’ve come to realize that he doesn’t have forethought. He only thinks of the here and now. Me hungry, must eat. Me thirsty, must drink. Me dirty, must shower.
He started asking me to be the first to get ready when we go out because it takes me longer to do so. He complains that he sits doing nothing for a half hour while he waits for me to finish. Then once we get in the car, instead of heading directly to our destination, he’ll want to stop and eat because he is hungry. I think to myself, he had a half hour. He could’ve made something to eat, consumed it and cleaned up. But alas, he thinks here and now and his goal during that half-hour was to get me out the door.
Post # 6
I see a lot of that in my FI, and my FI is a WOMAN… so yeah. To be fair she does a LOT and will generally do anything I ask but she never thinks on her own of what needs to be done or plans ahead for ANYTHING.
She will sit and play WOW when we have somewhere to be unless I tell her what I need help with but then if we are late she is all annoyed (like it’s my fault for not running a tighter ship!?)..
She will ignore a toothache until it’s ASTRONOMICALLY painful then of course I am the one scrounging for pain relief and calling for an emergency appointment.
She drove me crazy last semester (we are in school, both of us) because she would have a paper due and write it at the last minute then want me to proof/edit it when she was done… often at 1am! I had enough of that, as I have my own schoolwork too, and told her I was not editing or proofing anymore last minute papers and she would have to use the school writing lab unless she could get it to me at MINIMUM the day before it was due!
But I love her madly and she makes me feel like an absolute QUEEN, loves my kids like her own, lives to make me happy for the most part…. so I can deal. 😉
Post # 7
@soon2bS: My FI sounds just like yours! No lie!
Post # 8
Well, I’m glad I’m not alone. I have to admit, FI does a lot around the house, and he takes care of a lot of things so that I don’t have to. But, it’s like he’s just way too shy to call and make appointments for himself. It’s so strange! He works as a project manager & has to contact clients all day long, but can’t call a doctor’s office to set up an appointment, ugh!
Post # 9
My SO tells me all the time that there are some things that I do better than he does and that’s why he has me do them (like anything that involves planning basically)– sometimes it drives me crazy, but if we were both uber controlling like I am, we’d kill one another– in the end it works out..
Post # 10
I know what you mean. Mine is exactly like that. He expects me to figure everything out for him.
Post # 11
I do that kind of stuff for my bf. There’s a few reasons – one I have more time at a computer and phone than him. Two – I’m the one that thinks about that kind of stuff and remembers. When I remind him, he will just ask nicely if I will take care of making the appointment. Three – I am much more the planner, so basically anything that requires forethought I take care of.
I don’t mind – he does so much for me and it only takes a moment for me to do something like this for him.
Post # 12
With some men, they think if you do it for them, they why should they do it for themselves?
Post # 13
I definitely had a talk with my hubby about this today. We made a joint decision on something I made an appointment then we get there and he decides he doesn’t want to do it anymore. Not a huge deal except that now he has a new plan and wants me to make several phone calls to make it happen. I threw my hands up in the air and basically gave up. I told him I don’t care what he does as long as he actually does it. Don’t get me wrong he does a lot for me and is always cooking food or grabbing drinks etc but when it comes to planning and following thru with things its like I have to hold his hand.