Post # 1
My fiance and I are planning an elegant ceremony and reception for Aug 18,2012. We both have houses to sell, other family obligations…so this date was perfect for the planning. However, we recently found out his cancer has returned for the 3rd time in 2 years. I am struggling with moving up the date, I don’t want him to feel like I am giving up on him, and he “won’t be around” til next year.But I also want him to feel well and enjoy our day. There are other things, like currently since we are not married yet I cannot take FMLA leave to be with him on his sick days, MD appointments…has anyone else been in this situation?
I do have to tell you most days I love logging in and seeing fresh new ideas, DIY projects,happy wedding pics, but some days when I read blogs about how brides have 2-3 dresses they can’t chose from, or complaining about the size of their diamonds, I want to shout to you all, wake up, see what counts, you never know what life will bring, and when I sit watching him get chemo, I am not wondering if I should have plate chargers or not at the dinnner.
Should I move up the date?
Post # 3
I cannot say that I am going through the trials that you and your future husband are going through, but I wanted to send some support and prayers your way. You are absolutely right that it can be easy to get lost in planning a wedding when the main focus of the whole process should be a marriage. We need to keep in mind that on that big day we will be saying vows to eachother for “richer or for poorer and in sickness and in health”. These are the important things. Best wishes and good luck to you and your families.
Post # 4
First, I am sorry for your struggles. I have dealt with cancer a lot in the past few years (my mother, my mothers best friend, and my best friend’s mother) and sadly two out of the three were terminal cases. I cannot imagine how I would be feeling if it was my FI, so hugs and prayers for both of you.
Would it be an option to have a small ceremony or a JoP so you could have all of the benefits available but keep your original wedding date? For me, I would be more stressed trying to rush and get everything organized while dealing with the illness, being supportive and trying to take care of both my FI and myself.
Post # 5
I think that moving the date up is sensible… or like pp said… maybe something smaller?
Especially if that opens up time for you to be able to care for him through his treatments AND he’ll be feeling better for ya’lls day.. as opposed to what months of treatment will do.
(((((hugs)))))) for the struggles ya’ll are facing.
DH is a cancer survivor… and although I was just getting to know him at the end of his treatments I’ve had many times where I thought and even cried that I wasn’t there with him through it.
Praying for full recovering and that all the Dr.s and people in his and your life will be spirit guided and that you two will have a long happy life together. Feel free to pm me anytime… vent, prayer, ANYTHING. I know that having someone to stand in agreement in the tough times is so important (((hugs)))
Post # 6
I am so sorry to hear that – what a difficult time you must be going through. Receiving news like that is my worst nightmare and my heart goes out to you.
I think you have an extremely valid reason for wanting to be married sooner rather than later – and unfortunately, the FMLA doesn’t apply to fiances (at least so far as I know). I think if you brought up the idea of having a JP wedding sooner rather than later, and expressing the above reason for it, you won’t be sending a message that you’re giving up on your FI. Still keep planning your big wedding for 2012 and have that not only be a celebration of your marriage, but a celebration of a return to good health for your FI.
Good luck to you – I’ll be thinking of you.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry you guys are facing this, my prayers go out to you.
I think your reasons to move up the date are good valid reasons. I’m sure I would want to do the same. I truly wish you the best of luck.