(Closed) Anyone else have a very uneven guest list??

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I thought my FI would have a bigger half than me (his dad is one of 7, all of whom have kids, and his mum is one of 5, most of whom have kids), but we are EXACTLY even. That is cos I am inviting a couple of second cousins, and also family friends

Post # 4
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

have you asked him how he feels about the side difference? he may be ok with it 🙂 it’s not a big deal if he doesn’t mind, and just make sure he knows and feels comfortable around as many on your side as possible 🙂

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

we have a huge uneven guest list. my FI family is huge and mine is not. Plus to add to it im not even inviting my dads side of the family as i havent spoken to thm in ten years. Some days it kinda picks at me as were getting married at his parents cabin as well and his family is very comfortable there and will probably be around the days leading up to it. It is what it is, i cant change it or make my family grow and the way i look at it is my family might be smaller but were waaay closer 🙂

Post # 6
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Mr. S’s side is about 180, and mine is about 20.  I don’t feel sad about that at all, except money-wise, of course!

I come from a very small nuclear family, who doesn’t speak to any of the extendeds (they’re insane).  I also moved around a lot throughout my life, and friends sort of just went through my hands like sand.  I’m not sad about it; it’s just different.  Mr. S, however, grew up in the same town, has lived here his whole life with a large group of very extraverted friends.  So, yeah, he knows a lot of people.

You’re joining families.  Soon, there won’t be a his side/her side.  So ultimately, it doesn’t matter.

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@HerNameWasLola:  the invite list was pretty even. but seeing as most of FI’s family doesn’t have the money to travel from Wisconsin/U.P of Michigan to Virginia… I know it is going to be very uneven.

Post # 8
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ours is the other way around–his list is HUGE and mine is really small. He has two sides of family (mom and dad, plus three people from his stepmom’s family), though, and I just have my mom’s side. All of my close friends are in the BP, as well, so it’s mostly his friends. I’m okay with it–we don’t have “sides” for the ceremony, so it won’t really matter.

Post # 9
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think over the years my friends and his friends have just sort of morphed into our friends. So our personal list is our joint list. But in terms of my family and his, his family is coming from the other side of the world, so they have like no one on their list. It will just be his mom, grandparents, uncle and cousin, and then one friend that lives in the states. So the guest list is virtually entirely my parents’ friends and our family.

Post # 10
Member
11287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

yes, by a lot.  i have a big family and dh has a very small family and they all live in england.  we are both encores and only wanted an intimate wedding with immediate family and very close extended family and closest friends.  38 guests.  4 on his side, 34 on mine.

Post # 11
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Our guest list is CRAZY uneven.

My fiance literally only has 5-10 family members. Period. And he hasn’t spoken to most of them in at least 5 years. No bad blood or anything, it’s just the way his family is.
He also has a much smaller circle of friends from school, work, etc, so his total # of people is probably around 50.

On the other hand, my family is huuuuuuge. My mom literally has about 60-80 first cousins. It’s absurd. “My” side of things, family and friends totaled, is going to be about 200. 

I do feel bad (guilty) for the big difference, but he’s taking it very well. He does get nervous around new people/big crowds, but he said he’s glad to become a part of something so different fro what he’s used to. Laughing 

Just talk to your fiance and make sure he’s comfortable with the guest list and all the people. Try not to feel guilty; the situation is not your fault.

And don’t worry about having a “his side” and “her side.” Just let people sit wherever they want and mix them up. It is two families becoming one afterall! 

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee

Yes!  I have a large family with aunts and uncles and cousins to invite… but the groom’s side is only going to have his parents.  He’s an only child and hasn’t spoken to his cousins since before we started dating (ten years ago).  He also had a bit of a falling out with his best friend a year or so ago, so I don’t know what we’re going to do about his side of the bridal party… But that’s a different story altogether.

Post # 13
Member
45408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are many different reasons for a disparity in numbers between the bride and groom. Don’t let it worry you. Have your ushers seat the guests randomly on both sides, other than immediate family.

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I honestly don’t think it matters. Unless you one person was being forced to cut their guestlist. I also don’t think it’s a reason to mad at your Fi if he happy where he at and with his currently relationships and more imporantly has his depression under control then let it go it’s fine!

Post # 15
Member
5015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep, but it doesn’t matter. We have about 100 from my side and 40 from my FI’s (my family is paying).

Post # 16
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Our guest list is incredibly uneven as well. My side will have close on 150 guests, where as his will have maybe only 20 (if he’s lucky). The reason that the sides are so uneven is because my FI is from Ireland – and most of his friends and relatives can’t afford to travel to Chicago for the wedding. D: 

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