Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
We talked about this for a loooong time when we first moved in together and consulted a mutual friend of ours who is an accountant before deciding, but it worked for us. Now that we’re married, we pretty much had the following conversation: “So … bank accounts. Want to merge them?” “I dunno. I feel like our system is working.” “It’s a lot of paperwork.” “Yeah. And I’m not taking your last name, soooo …” “Stick with what we’ve got?” “Totes.” Took <25 seconds, and we’re happy.
Here’s how it works: we deposit a bit over half of our paychecks into a joint account. This is where bills, utilities, groceries, Netflix, etc are paid from. Our bank is awesome and also lets us have separate “money bags” within that account, so if we’re saving $250/month towards our honeymoon, we can just click and drag. It’s technically in the same account, but it’s earmarked and own’t be touched when we pay bills. The rest of our paychecks goes into our personal account. The black chiffon cocktail dress I bought the other day? On my credit card, out of my account. (We also have separate credit cards, specifically because we both have a GAZILLION REWARD POINTS which we would lose if we combined or closed those.) His new tablet? His debit card. Etc. We’ve never had a fight about finances as a result, and it makes Christmas/birthday/etc presents that much more special when you’re spending only your money instead of something out of a combined his-hers account.
Not the most traditional approach, but we are not the most traditional people, so we are happy 🙂
I realize this is one of those questions where there is definitely not one right or wrong answer, but Bees, how did you handle this?
Post # 2
rachel85: We pretty much have the exact same system as you. Works for us.
My mother was a big supporter of keeping your own account. Having gotten married in the late 60’s she watched many of her friends become broke in the 80’s and 90’s after their husbands left them and having been SAHM’s have little to no skills for good employment.
Post # 3
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
While I can see the appeal, I don’t think that will work for us, due to different training pathways, kids etc one of us will be making a bunch more money than the other, (only made possible by the sacrifice and support of the other). Where there’s a huge disparity, I suspect there may be some ill feeling created.
Post # 4
rachel85: We also have separate accounts, except for one joint account for household expenses such as groceries. I kept my last name, but that wasn’t part of the financial arrangements. We’re on the unconventional side too.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
We’re not married yet so we haven’t nailed down a system yet. For how we each have our personal accounts and I help him pay 1/2 of everything so I cut him a check at the beginning of each month. It’s a bit cumbersome and a lot of paper, but hopefully we figure out a better system.
Post # 6
rachel85: Just curious… If 1/2 goes to a joint account and 1/2 into your personal accounts, what goes into retirement savings? The earlier you start with that, the better!! 😀
My husband and I will both be business owners, but we’ll only have separate accounts for things that we have to (ie. business money that can’t be commingled, etc).
I’d just rather we both have immediate access to every bit of our combined money… and heck, I’ll be the one making more! I just wouldn’t feel right if I had “more” than him. I want it all to be shared. What’s mine is his, what’s his is mine.
We will probably keep our “own” credit cards since they are established and help our credit scores/history, but will add each other as authorized users so we both have access. Any cards we get in the future will be in both of our names.
Plus, keeping track of separate accounts and having to move things around for “shared” versus “mine” just seems like extra work.
However, what you and your husband are doing isn’t really unusual. It works for a lot of people. 🙂
Post # 7
I don’t find that weird at all, considering you do have a joint account for bills and the like…
Post # 8
Our money is ours, not his and hers.
Our main chequing account and CCs are joint.
We have separate accounts and non-joint CCs.
Post # 9
I guess we are extremely unconventional- we have one joint account but basically only used it for money we got as gifts for our wedding. We both have separate accounts (although we know eachother’s passwords.) We share on credit card for household expenses. My husband makes way more money than me, so he actually transfers money into my bank account for spending and for household expenses that I usually cover (most groceries, basic household maintenance, pet expenses, etc.)
He covers our rent and electric from his account, I cover cable and my cell phone, plus most of the household incidentals from mine. Its how we did it before we were married, so why change? Since marrying, it’s really “our” money and we both have similar views on spending. Opening up new combined accounts sounds like such a huge pain in the ass…
Post # 10
That’s great that the system is working for you. We don’t have seperate accounts but I know that it doesn’t work for everyone if they have different spending styles.
Post # 11
Not strange at all!! We each have our own accounts, we don’t even have a joint, and I don’t think we will ever get one. Each month I just transfer money to him to cover my portion of the bills. I have my own things in my name (car, phone, student loan etc.) that I pay to make sure I have good and established credit. FI makes much more than I do and I would feel so so uncomfortable using his money for anything personal if we had a joint accounts, I could never go buy shoes with money he earned it feels so wrong to me. That being said he pays for a lot of our stuff and covers more of our rent etc because he does make more so it’s pretty fair and even. Yes he treats me to new clothes sometimes but it’s so much more special because it’s a gift and not a what’s mine is yours who cares situation. We are talking about buying a new car soon, and he is going to help me with the down payment but I’m going to have it in my name, and make the subsiquent monthly payments. Maybe one day after we are married, if we ever decide to buy a house, or If I become a stay at home mom (love my career…not sure I even want kids, but if I did would stay at home) we would change it up, but this works for us right now! Do what works best for you guys, as long as you are saving for retirement in your own 401k and have things that help you establish good credit, you are fine!
Post # 12
j_jaye: Well this is depressing.
Post # 13
We have the vast majority of our money going into a joint account for bills, costs of living, etc. Not going to lie m, it took probably 6 months to get used to this, but we both wanted it, so we put in effort to adjust. It just feels normal now. We each have a side account that is personal and we each put a few hundred per paycheck into them for our individual savings/spending. When I get a bunch saved, I will make a supplemental large student loan payment, and he uses his for hobby related stuff. We never spend so much that we dip below a certain set dollar amount in any of our three accounts.
Post # 14
We’re all joint. We added his name to “my” account and we deposit our entire checks into it. Everything comes out of there. I want a new handbag, shoes, clothes, whatever, “we” pay for it. He wants a lot less, but same same thing. We’ll mention it to each other if we want to spend over $500 on a single purchase, otherwise, we are ok with each others spending habits and dont feel the need to have separate accounts.
Post # 15
I don’t think it’s strange. Every couple has their own preferences of what works best for them.
FI and I have our own separate checking and savings accounts, but we have a joint savings account that we opened when we bought our house last year. We use it for house related things like furniture, house emergencies, maintenance supplies, etc.
Since we bank at the same credit union, it’s super easy to tranfer money to each other for bills and what not. It just worked out better for us this way since we didn’t want to go through the hassle of changing info that’s linked to our current accounts.