Post # 1
My Mother-In-Law (of about 1.5 years so far) is a very sweet woman, but she’s much more mother-ly and emotional than my own mother. She always says, “I love you” when I talk to her on the phone before hanging up or before saying goodbye when I see her in person.
This makes me uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why. I like my Mother-In-Law. I’m glad she loves me. I’m happy we have a good relationship. But maybe because I’m naturally sort of introverted, I guess it bothers me that there’s some sort of emotional intimacy that she’s trying to forge that I don’t really feel ready to give? I can’t figure out a way of talking about it–I mean, how do you say, “Please stop telling me you love me?” I”m not sure what to do. Am I being mean? Taking things to seriously?
Because I see her all the time so of course, it comes up all the time–her saying “I love you” and me grimacing. Any advice? Say something or grimace and bear it?
Post # 3
Aghh this is awkward. I don’t like saying I love you a lot either, even to my own family! I guess we just didn’t say it a lot growing up. I say it to Fiance, but that’s because we have said it our whole relationship (well, started from 3 months in). And now I’m supposed to say “I love you” to a woman who didn’t want me in her house for 2.5 years?! I know what you mean! Could your husband say something to her, like about you being shy? That way, you never have to acknowledge it directly with her.
Post # 4
I guess I’m just weird because she always says it to me on the phone and when I see her and I just automatically say it back. We never used it a lot in my family either, so it’s strange that I have no problem saying it to her.
Post # 5
I would just say “you, too!”
The funny thing is that I don’t think I’ve said it to FI’s parents but I definitely have said it to the parents of two previous boyfriends… uh oh. I do care about FI’s parents, we’re just so awkward together! We’ll get there eventually.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
I don’t think I’ve ever said “I love you” to my Mother-In-Law. I’m just not that kind of person, and there hasn’t really been a situation where it would be appropriate, you know? I’ve probably signed off “Love ya!” in a text or two, though. Does that count? 😉
Post # 7
My SOs mom just started saying it recently, but after 5 and a half years I’ve loved her for awhile now!
Post # 8
My Mother-In-Law is not the kind of person who just says “I love you” and I’m thankful for it cause neither am I.
I agree with bookworm88:, just say you too.
Post # 9
I don’t think I’ve ever said that to many of my in laws, nor have they ever said it to me. I would be totally weirded out if they ever did.
Post # 10
Mother-In-Law and I don’t have that kind of relationship, but I think it’s fine to just say “You too!”
No point in hurting her feelings over it, I mean it’s nice of her to say. And no, I would not ask her to stop saying it!
Post # 11
I say Love ya to them many times. I live with them so at night if I go to bed before them or vice versa I’ll just sometimes yell out Love ya, and they both reply back lova ya too. I seriously LOVE my in laws, they are awesome.
Post # 12
Oh this is good to hear–it’s one thing if you really hate your Mother-In-Law and don’t get along and therefore don’t say it, but another if you DO get along and still don’t want to say it! Glad to hear others feel similarly.
@bookworm88: “You too!” is a good one! Might be the way to go.
…Or hey, can I do the Sarah Palin thing?–“You betcha!” with a thumbs up? Nah, probably not.
Post # 13
I can understand how awkward it is/can be, but I’d honestly just say “I love you too!” right back. It’s kind of like when you and your girlfriends used to say it in high school, you know? It means you really dig the person but it’s not like a true love.
Post # 14
Agree with bookworm! I really don’t think you can say anything, but that sounds like a good way to get out of it if you’re uncomfortable.
Post # 15
I would find something similarly nice, like “take care ” or “nice talking to you”! I don’t say it to my FMiL and it’s not something I say casually either.
Post # 16
I think I would just say “you too” or something. My fiance’s parents don’t even really say that to him (though he knows they do love him) but they just aren’t those kind of people.