Post # 1
My fi and I are kind of having it out on kids at the wedding, he comes from a big, the more the merrier type family and I do too but I do not like it when children are at weddings. It is just not a place for them. His Sibs have kids ranging from 1 1/2 at the time of the wedding to 14. Not even his siblings kids, do I want at the wedding and this is why:
I sat through a wedding in August and a 3 year old was crying for his wooden train. Then when he got it, you’d think he’d shut his adorable little face…he just started banging it into the church pews which were also made of wood and making crashing noises.
His brother had gum to keep him quiet and that was working until the little conductor saw his brother quietly chawing away on his huge wad at which point the train was shuttled to the (also wooden) floor and he began to scream that he too wanted some “num”.
As a guest I was offended that this woman would bring her darling beasts in button ups, as a bride-to-be I was horrified at the thought of this being in my ceremony.It really hammered home that I was right…even the well behaved kid was bothering me smaking and popping on gum. I was so peeved that no one took him out and that mom didn’t have the common sense to do it herself, wtf right!?
My fi was there and even after that he feels like there’s still an argument for HIS sibs. children are children. meltdowns are meltdowns. you don’t see them coming and bam I’m yelling that yes I take this man over someone squealing for “num”
Anyone else have a fi that was set on kids at the wedding? How did you bring him around?
Post # 3
It’s the opposite over here–FI doesn’t want kids at all and while I’m not excited about it, I think we should. My reason is that most of the people with kids are family and they are all out of town. I can’t ask these people to drive 8 hours and either leave their kids with a sitter back home or find one here. If our venue ends up having the space, I’d rather hire sitters than have people not be able to come because we won’t accomodate their kids. Also, unless people get knocked up right now, the youngest kid there will be 5, which is totally old enough to STFU for the 10 minutes of our ceremony.
Consider hiring a sitter and have all the kids hang out there for the ceremony. Also if you have a day of coordinator, you can have them on loud baby alert–s/he can escort loud children away if they make a racket during your ceremony if the parents are as rude as that other woman.
Post # 4
I get what you’re saying. I’ve made it clear that if my OWN child cries or makes a fuss during the ceremony, she’s out of the building. It’s your day, it’s about you, and it shouldn’t be disrupted.
Post # 5
I totally agree with you. We are totally having the same issues. I am not winning.
I feel your pain.
Post # 6
If you are having a church wedding most churches have classrooms. Maybe you could get a relative to volunteer to keep the children in the classrooms during the ceremony. Or possibly hire some babysitters to keep the kids on site. Kids could watch videos and this way they wouldn’t have to opportunity to disrubt the ceremony. And if you are having the respection on site you could possibly fix a kid friendly menu like pizzas to be served in the classrooms while the adults are served in another area.
Post # 7
We are having issues a bit, not as bad as this though. Neither of us really want kids at the wedding, but 2 of our bridal party will have infants, so we accepted they will have to come. But now that these kids have to come, he doesn’t think we can say no to someone else, including his work friends who ASKED to be invited to the wedding (which is Out of Town for them) and now I have to invite their currently unborn child and have another infant there? UGHHH
Post # 8
I just don’t want them in the building!!
Post # 9
@WILLIAKELLLB:I can understand that, really I do but the fact is, your FI’s family has a lot of kids and he wants to include them. You can’t include his family’s kids and no one else’s. You’re going to have to figure out a compromise. That is what married couples DO.
Really your options are this:
No kids (pissed off Fiance + Fiance family and a lot of people not coming)
Kids with sitter (cost to you but kids are out of the way and also get to come to the wedding–everybody is as happy as they are going to get about the situation)
Kids without a sitter (potential for racket during the ceremony, running around during the reception, jam hands)