Anyone else having a little stress over rsvps?

posted 3 years ago in April 2014
Post # 3
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@misscupcake2012:  we’re not having kids at our wedding for similar reasons – blanket rule including kids of out of state guests as well because that would add an extra 20+ people.(even our flower girl & page boy aren’t staying for the reception)  If the kids were invited the parents shouldn’t be adding them ! Sorry you’re dealing with that.

Post # 5
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@misscupcake2012:  Yea we have a no kids policy, other than our flower girl, who’s 8 and very well behaved. All of my first cousin’s know their kids, though I love them, are not invited. It’s just too much. We are renting out a mansion and the last thing I need is for us not to get our $1,000 security deposit back because a kid broke a vase or something.  

This really sucks. It is a rock and a hard place. Honestly, my cousin who lives out of town and is coming in for the wedding has three kids. Since he can’t bring them, his wife will not be joining him. Luckily they weren’t upset and understood. So he’ll be traveling with his brother who is single for the wedding. 

Do these people living out of town have relatives or close friends that can watch their kids for them for a couple nights? Ugh, I would be SOOOO frustrated by this if I were you. 

And honestly, maybe I’m a B, but I would call those rude people who RSVP’d for their kids, and let them know they’re not invited! In my opinion, that’s not being rude. They are NOT invited, so it’s rude for these people to assume they are. Just because you are having kids doesn’t mean that ALL kids can come. It’s your wedding, you decide which kids get to be there and which kids don’t. Period.

If your FMIL wants to freak out, explain to her that you have no where to seat these people and it’s frustrating that she didn’t make it clear to these people beforehand, that only the adults were being invited. 

Post # 6
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@misscupcake2012:  As difficult as it is, I would tell the people who added children that you are having a kid-free wedding.  It sounds awful, but that may even help you to get your numbers down even more if the parents are unable to attend because they cannot bring their kids.

Another option that we have considered is hiring a babysitter to watch the children of our guests at the hotel everyone will be staying at.  That way your guests can bring their kids with them but just not to the wedding.  Spending even $300 on a babysitter for the night is way more manageable than having 10 additional guests at the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am starting to worry about how many people will RSVP.  I just sent invites out today so we haven’t started to get any back yet but we also invited a few more than our capacity.  We know of several who will say no but I am worried about children who were not invited being listed on the RSVP’s when they come back and same with plus ones.  Fingers crossed that it isn’t a big deal.

 

Post # 8
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am having a similar problem as well. We aren’t inviting kids, and most of my family and fiance’s family are from out of town. Unfortunately it seems my extended family keeps adding people to their rsvp’s. I just got one back (that was addressed to Mr. XYZ and Guest), and had 4 written in the number of people coming. 4!? I don’t even know where he could’ve gotten that number. It’s really frustrating

 

Post # 10
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@misscupcake2012:  I’m angsty about RSVPs, but for other reasons. At first when we sent out invitations, we were getting 3, 4, 5 per day. And a week or two ago, it dropped off and I’ll get about 1 per week. We are still waiting to hear from about 1/3 of the invitees, and our deadline is Friday. 

The thing that gets me is that 90% of the people we are waiting on would never consider going to Italy for a wedding, so I don’t understand why they didn’t just drop it in the mail right away. Don’t get me wrong, I would be happy if they came, but I don’t actually think these people are contemplating whether they can go. 

Also, a couple of people we know will be there haven’t RSVP’d (they’ve purchased plane tickets), like one of my bridesmaids, one of FI’s groomsmen, and my aunt & uncle. 

I have some cousins in Germany who may or may not come (they sounded affirmative last we talked, but haven’t heard anything since), so they are the ones I am actually awaiting. I know international mail is slow, so I am going to give them the benefit if the doubt for now and email them later when we get down to the wire on our catering deadline.

Post # 12
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@misscupcake2012:  People who are definite nos, I’m not going to bother following up with. I don’t have phone numbers for a lot of these people (like my Grandma’s brothers. They had to be invited).

However, since I have a DW, we would hear of people buying plane tickets, etc. The same strategy would probably not work so well for locals, because they my just show up!

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