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Booked the honeymoon!

Anyone else having communication problems? PLEASE HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    1,455 posts
    Bumble bee
    guitargirl    October 2009   Ohio

    It is 20 days til the wedding, and my FI and I keep miscommincating and then fighting.  We just think so differently.  Also, we both work really stressful jobs (he works 80-90 hours a week) and probably our patience isn't the best.  Just makes me worry- is this just stress (we do better when we both aren't working as much) or something more drastic?  Is this happening to anyone else? 

     
    2.
    Bee
    4,377 posts
    Honey bee
    mrbee    March 5, 2005   New York City, New York

    Miscommunications can definitely soar in the weeks before a wedding!

    What kind of miscommunications/fights have you been having lately?

     
    3.
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    75 posts
    Worker bee
    celery    October 2009   Vancouver

    The FI and I are definitely arguing more. Everybody tells me that it's part of the wedding process... We always try to solve each issue by taking a "time out" when it gets heated then coming together after a few hours and talk the issue through. It's a lot of work and quite stressful, but its good to talk when we are both have cooler heads... 

     
    4.
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    743 posts
    Busy bee
    WDWBride    March 3, 2010   Walt Disney World

    We do all the time. We are slowly working on it. The problems themselves are sooo trivial. We just have such a hard time communicating our ideas.  I just bought the book Why Can't You Read My Mind? and it seems to be good.

     
    5.
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    Bee
    6,485 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    HA, you could definitely be describing my FH and I, only we're about 9 months out from the wedding! I think it's totally normal to be miscommunicating when you're so close to your wedding, I mean, it sounds like you both are super busy, which can totally contribute.  It's good that your recognize that these are just "miscommunications" and not true, serious issues in your relationship.  Sometimes, I've found that it helps to just tell FH exactly what you just told us, that you hate fighting with him and all these miscommunications aren't making things easy.  The reminder with maybe a suggestion of being as clear as possible when you guys talk might help a little... Good luck ,you're almost there!

     
    6.
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    Blushing bee
    caliwed    September 2009   Tennessee

    I think it is pre-wedding stress.  Even if you don't feel stressed about the actual wedding, I think that wedding stress might be creeping into your relationship.  I have found that my FI and I fight more now that we are engaged and it feels like molehills have become mountains after the ring went on my finger.  Hopefully, it will get better after the wedding! 

     
    7.
    Member
    428 posts
    Helper bee
    lemilie    06/05/10   Atlanta

    I realize you're both really stressed, especially with the wedding coming up so soon, but I would totally recommend the book "The Seven Principles of Making Marriages Work" by John Gottman. It talks about how to destress and make sure that you're not taking things out on each other. 

     
    8.
    Member
    1,066 posts
    Bumble bee
    Br1tSh1n1ngStar    10/17/09   New Jersey

    It is stress, we just went through a really bad bout with that. Make one night a non wedding night, just sit and relax and have fun. We did that this weekend and it's amazing how reconnected we feel!

     
    9.
    Hostess
    7,536 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    I think you can get preoccupied with the "stuff" going on that you kinda put the whole reason you're getting married (you are in love) on the backburner doing "stuff".

    Schedule a date night as the above poster suggested and reconnect and turn off cell phones, tv, and have a romantic night out. 

     
    10.
    Member
    660 posts
    Busy bee
    Stacy Marie    July 24, 2010  

    I'm glad it's not just me, it feels like fiance and I argue more...I think it's just part of the process.

     

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