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Anyone else having their Mom walk them down the aisle?

posted 1 year ago in Family
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    1.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    Am I the only who's doing this? 

    A little backstory...my parents divorced when I was 2. They shared custody, I went over to my Dad's every other weekend, but I always felt like an "outsider" at his house. We were never terribly close. Then, we had a falling out when I was 17 (it's a long, very personal story that I'd rather not put out there just in case). Anyway, he said some very hurtful things to me, and said that he wanted to cut off all contact. We didn't speak for 10 years after that day, and it was one of the most horrible things that ever happened to me. Only recently (as of last year) have we reconnected, and talk every so often. Because of all that happened, it was not a tough choice for me...I always knew that my Mom would walk me down aisle. She raised me, she was there for me at all times, he wasn't. But I still wanted to ask him to make sure he knew that I wasn't doing it out of spite, that we are past all that now & have mended our relationship, but that I was doing it to honor my Mother for raising me. He said he totally understood & agreed 100%. We will still be doing a Father-daughter dance, because I am his only daughter, and regardless of the past, he IS my Father. I asked my Mom to walk me down the aisle as her birthday present a few weeks ago, and she cried. She is SO happy that I've chosen to do this.

    So, any other bees bucking tradition and NOT having your Dad walk you down the aisle? Were there any "comments" about it or anything like that? My Dad basically said "if anyone says anything about it at the wedding, tell people it was your decision, and I'll do the same. They don't need any specifics, it's your day, not theirs". I'd love to hear your reasoning behind doing what you're doing.

     
    2.
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    Sugar bee
    stephanie63087    May 14, 2011   Fort Wayne, Indiana

    i am having my mom walk me down the aisle... no one has said anything yet... but im sure they will. and i will just say... my mom raised me. and we are best friends. :)

     
    3.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    Yay month twin!

    And good for you! Just brush off the people who say anything. It's a very personal decision, and it can be difficult to understand if you don't know the reasoning behind it.

     
    4.
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    Blushing bee
    marissabreanna    September 25, 2010   Sautee, Ga

    I don't really have a relationship with my dad. In fact, I haven't even decided if he's going to be invited. So, yes, my mom is definitely going to walk me down the aisle. Though, every time I picture, I see myself walking alone...

     
    5.
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    484 posts
    Helper bee
    mannellal    October 13, 2012   Pittsburgh PA

    I am having both my mom and dad walk me down the isle.  They divorced when I was 7 but I have a great relationship with both of my parents.  It is an easy decision for me and one that will make everybody happy :)

     
    6.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    I say if that's how you always picture it, then go with that. Perhaps you can honor your Mom in another way?

     
    7.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    mannellal: That's awesome that you have a great relationship with both parents. I really feel it's very important and I wish I would have had it that way.

     
    8.
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    3,107 posts
    Sugar bee
    june42011    January 29, 2012   NORTH DAKOTA

    A friend of mine had her mom walk her down the aisle too. No one really thought anything of it. We all knew her parents were divorced and her dad wasn't really an involved type (He was into drugs when she was younger which resulted in the divorce). I think the majority of your guests (assuming they know you well) won't think anything bad about it.

     
    9.
    Member
    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    My 18 year old brother walked me down the aisle. cbcs520, the story you told about your relationship with your dad is very similar to mine. We have never been estranged for a long period of time but we have a strained relationship due to his absence in my younger years, a painful divorce, and a falling out when I was a teenager. I chose my brother to walk me down the aisle because I didn't want it to seem like I was choosing one parent over another. A part of me also wanted to keep the tradition of being given away by a man, even though its not a very feminist thing for me to say! I just kind of want my wedding photos to resemble those of others in my family, if that makes sense. But I definitely did consider having my mom do it.

    I will admit that there was some awkwardness surrounding it, and I know both my dad and his wife were hurt by it, but in the end I couldn't have been happier with my decision. I was so relaxed and joyful in that moment - I wouldn't have felt that way at all had it been my dad. Here's my brother escorting me:

    Anyone else having their Mom walk them down the aisle? :  wedding mom dad ceremony family 37392 1489399204946 1532949416 1232452 6701625 N

     
    10.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    I LOVE that picture. And I totally get what you mean about wanting your wedding to look like everyone else's. But you did what you did because your brother obviously means alot to you. And that in the end is what it's all about. I remember seeing the pics in your recaps, and the look on his face when you came down the stairs is priceless.

     
    11.
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    cbcs520    May 20, 2011   Chicago, IL Suburbs

    June: That's very true.

     

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