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I'm homesick =]. I grew up in Southern California and was transplanted to a hoosier town of 500 people in the midwest. I went from being a great student at a top 25 high school to a school that had an unreal number of pregnant teens and drops outs, not to mention drug problems. Plus the culture shock. Carl's Jr was now Hardee's and Best Foods was now Mayo and I couldn't do anything I wanted, wear any of the same clothes (dress code plus weather change) or act how I wanted because Californias were, like, hippie weirdos trying to take over the Bible Belt. It was pretty damn awful. I hated every second of my life down there. I only lived there a year, but then I went away to college and now I live in St. Louis It's not California, but it works for me. Moving back to Cali wasn't ever going to be an option because DH is from St Louis and that's a compromise I made. Plus my friends live here. It's still weird sometimes but I got over it. You grow up, you move away, that's life. Give it time--can you have your parents send you some of the same goodies from back home? It does take time to get comfortable in a new place, especially when it's so different. I still get homesick for California (mostly the attitude, laid back lifestyle, and open mindedness) and sometimes I really hate the midwest and the stipulation that comes with living here (okay just last night i was at dinner and two BUSINESSMEN were calling each other hoosiers and losers in an argument about whether or not Sarah Palin is smart...it was insane) but you do find your bearings eventually.
I felt like that when I went to live at college. Granted college was 45minutes away from my home, but I didn't a car, and it was my first time ever being away from family. It was hard to get use to, but I allowed myself to enjoy the experience. In order to grow, you have to allow yourself to eperience new things. You always have the internet and a phone so you can talk to your friends back home or catch up on games. Go to the local coffee house and just sit there read a paper, join a group, look for activities you like. Do things that you like, and move on in a sense. My friend just moved away to another state for his Masters, but he allowed himself to meet people and get out there to make friends so that he wouldn't feel alone. I hope this helps!
I'm homesick too! I moved to Ireland for a job (a 6 month contract) and met FI at the end of my contract and decided to stay to see how our relationship would develop. Well, now here I am - 3.5 years later!!! 3000 miles from home! And to top it off, he's in Africa for 4.5 months (Sept-Feb) so not only am I away from my family, he's not even here! I am bursting to go home for Christmas - I cannot wait! I am fortunate to have some good friends and FI's parents/family are very kind and generous but it still isn't home. I cannot wait to walk into my parents' house and be HOME. True it will only be for a couple weeks but it will seep into my bones and sustain me til the next time I go home (for our wedding in April).
I don't have any great advice aside from continuing to be social and meeting people and try new things while also getting care packages (great idea ejs) with the things you miss most that can be packaged and make the trip home when you're able to - also keep encouraging friends/family to visit you there.
If nothing else, know you're not alone! *hugs*
oh man! I am soooo homesick lately too! a year and a half out of the States is plenty long enough for one stint :(
It's hard too because when you go back, it's never what you expect, you know? And then it just feels like that part of your past is gone forever.
I'm right there with you! I've been home sick for 2 and a half years now! It sounds terrible and IT IS! My FI and I lived together for 2 and half years in Miami where I lived pretty much all my life, where all my friends live and all my family. We moved to Mobile, AL because his dad opened a business and wanted him to run it, well I came along not even engaged yet then and thought I could get used to it, it has gotten better but I cried a lot all the time missing home, it was really hard, now I just go with the flow of every day life but still CAN'T stand living here....I'm hoping that we will move since his dad has mention that once the company reaches a better value he will sell and retire, once that happen Im thinking we will move. My FI grew up in Orlando where he loves it so maybe that will be our next home, who knows, his family has moved more than 10 times haha I hope this is not the last time because it has been so hard for me here. It is just not the same, I consider myself a friendly person but I haven't been able to find any good people here, so weird. ugh! Anyway, for those home sick just deal with it day by day, try to keep ur mind busy and hope for the best, that's how I deal with it now ;)
M.
I haven't been homesick at all since the wedding, and I've moved from the south to the north. The only things I really miss are certain restaurants and when I used to be able to see a matinee for $2.50 and after 5 for only $5. It's a lot more expensive out here. Also, I have no idea how to get around with so many state roads to try and remember.
I do remember being extremely homesick when I first went to college though. I had always had my own room and my own space, had my own bathroom at home. It was culture shock in a way. I just tried to hang out with the friends that I had and find activities to do in my spare time. I'd go out just to get off campus, browse Wal-Mart, which got fun around Christmas. Eventually, I was able to get over it and I rarely went home anymore, even though I only lived an hour away.
I grew up in California and I miss it. I miss the food (In-N-Out Burger) and the diffrent feel that everything has. I am aching to go visit.
While I don't miss home (the city I grew up in), I do miss the city I lived in for 4 years while I went to university for my first degree on Canada's east coast. I miss the pubs, living near the downtown and having it be affordable, walking to restaurants and clubs, and being able to get in to a club after 11 pm with a minimal wait in line. I moved to Vancouver three years ago, and I was in for a huge culture shock! If you want to go dancing, better get ready at 7, becuase you need to be in the lineup for the club by 9 pm, or you are not getting in, only being able to live downtown if you want to pay a king's ransom in mortagage fees or rent, and living 45 min away in the 'burbs cause that is where the affordable rent starts. Sigh. But you know what, now that I have settled in here, I love it here. The mountains are amazing for both summer and winter recreation, we have the Olympics here this winter, and the downtown is just a quick Skytrain ride away. But pubs here are just NOT the same as the Maritimes...but I can live with that for now!
I'm glad that you said where you are now, you get to see your friends more. That's what is hardest for me. We moved to a new city two years ago, and although I like being here, it's been hard to make friends. And my old frienships are suffering because I'm out of the loop and phone calls just don't cut it, our schedules don't mesh.
Yeah, sometimes I think I want to go home. And sometimes I think I'm ready to have a place that becomes my home. It took me so long to admit to DH that I wanted to settle down.
I'm homesick but not really for where I grew up. I was living in CO near my husband's family for the past 4 years and this summer we moved to AL, where we know no one. I am still adjusting to it. It's pretty hard not really having anyone to talk to or hang out with here.
I miss Atlanta so much! To the extent that it worries the boy that I won't be happy anywhere else. That's not true and I can see where he would think that, but really, Lexington and I have a history of hating eachother. Once I get out of here (IF I ever get out of here) I'll be much better! If he doesn't get into Emory for PhD work, his second choice is Harvard. I am SO down with living in Boston (even if Atlanta always has my heart)!
I miss home SO much! I'm in Indiana right now. I moved up here to be closer to my brother (he and my sister-in-law had a baby and I wanted to be closer to my neice). My fiance is a great guy and moved here with me. We are so miserable here. We are far away from our friends. Nothing is the same here. I miss my mom. I'm from Florida, and I miss good seafood so much! This is a small town and everyone has known each other since they were little. There is NOTHING to do here except eat. Oh, that's right, I've gained like 50lbs since I've been here, just to add insult to injury. I cry at least once a week because I miss my best friend so much. As soon as we are done with school, we are out of here. I wish I could take my brother, sister-in-law, and niece with us, but my SIL won't go any further away from her parents.
you poor homesick girls!!! must be hard around the holidays too! hugs and warm wishes for all of you lovelies!!
I miss home a lot...but every time I return (it's been 4 years since I lived in Canada), things are different and somehow that it even harder. I'm 7th generation Canadian...but when we finally move back to Canada in 10? 15? years, it will be like I'm a new immigrant. That bothers me more than I care to admit.
I must say though that being an ex-pat makes me soo much better at keeping in touch with people from my past. Lots of my friends live in the same city, but the only time they meet up with each other is when I'm back in the country. FB and Skype are my best friends, and thankfully my sister is in Hong Kong this year so we are almost in the same time zone! Basically, we leave our Skype chat on all night and chat while working. Mum comes on around 10 pm my time and we have a three way mum-daughter chat. If I were living in the same place as my family I would never talk to them this much....
Thanks for sharing everyone!! It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way (although I am sorry you all are homesick too). I was thinking about when I was in college after some of you said that that was when you were homesick. I think I was only homesick in college when I was ill, because I always knew I was going back home after graduation and also one of my good friends from home (who I had remained friends with after I moved) ended up going to the same school as me.
@AnamCara: That is an incredible story! I don't know how you do it not having your family or FH there.
@KMSull: My husband also worries that I won't be happy anywhere else; we definitely talked a really long time about my feelings on moving before we got engaged and sometimes I have to remind him that I JUST moved here a little over a month ago and it's going to take me time to adjust. Good luck with finding out about his Doctoral program!! That's really exciting. Will he find out soon?
@Puggy: Where are you in IN? I'm in Indy. My sister-in-law also had a baby recently. I can't wait to see her at Thanksgiving!!
@bamm: It is unbelievable how much an area can change in just a few years let alone 10-15. There will be some things that will stay the same though.
My DH is homesick. He is from the east coast where we met and have lived for the past 6 years. We just moved to my hometown of ST. Louis for him to go to med school and I think its really tough for him to be away from the east coast, culture, friends, and such.
@purduegrace- no, he won't find out til March! That's depressing on so many levels, because we'll be getting engaged in Febuary, married in early August and moving RIGHT after that. Since we don't know where he's going and when he has to be there, we can't set a date til he finds out. Which means I'll have less than 5 months to plan everything. It's going to be insane, but I've started pre-planning so it should be okay.
We've had the "are you going to be happy anywhere else?" talk so many times because it REALLY concerns him. I really HATE living where we live now, which hurts him because it's his hometown, so I think that plays into alot of his insecurites about us moving somewhere.
I'm homesick! Im living in Germany as an Aupair. My FI came here for two weeks to visit me and proposed while he was here! Now that he is gone, and i dont have my family either, it has been really hard for me. Espically trying to plan an entrire wedding via internet! I still have another month beofre i go home :(
@ EJS-- I feel like I could have written your post! I moved right before freshman year of high school to a teeny tiny town... Oh gosh. lol, it was a CULTURE SHOCK...
I moved to Louisville the day I graduated from high school and even here, I feel homesick occasionally, for my family. I miss my mom's homecooking, etc. I think it just takes time. I cried myself to sleep the first week I was here but a year and a half later, I know I made the right decision. Just try to think of it as exploring, you never know what you'll find!
Hello Everyone!
I am so glad to have found your posts. I thought something was wrong with me. I am fron NEPA and moved with my husband 2 years ago to Virginia. Its a good area, but its not home. I am not quite used to the south yet,I prob would enjoy it more if I was in the mountains of Virginia. I am a country gal and Very very close to my family. I have always helped take care of my sisters and brother and helped just keep the family going. So these two years have been so hard for me! My family just left today to go back to PA and now I am so homesick, I just wish my family was closer. My husband and I are thinking about moving closer maybe in a few years, but He just is so stuck on living here in va. I am just so glad to know there are others who are homesick. I lived in a very very small country town on the base of a mountain, and I miss everything!
Have a great Sunday! Thanks for the post!
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My husband and I didn't live together before we got married and were living in 2 different states for 2 years. After the wedding I moved in with him since he has a stable job right now and is in the middle of a big project that would be good for him to stick with throughout its entirety. There are several of our friends in the area where we are but I am none the less still SUPER homesick.
I moved once when I was younger but we moved back a few years later and I swore after school I wouldn't move away again. Well, met the husband and that went out the window. I'm so glad he and I are finally in the same place under one roof and I see him more than 3 days at a time and that I can see some of my friends more, but I can't get rid of wanting to be home where I grew up.
I can't get the same food from the grocery store, the radio stations are really different even though it's the same genres (I usually end up streaming one from home on the computer), I can't get the hockey games that often, I miss the hills, etc.
I am trying to drive around and "get lost" to see what there is to do and get my bearings, hoping that will help me feel more comfortable when I need to go somewhere and understand better when people tell me where something is. It's not that I dislike where we live, it's really nice actually, I just like home better. Did this happen to anyone else?