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...only to, luckily, get back to yourself, your ideas, etc.? I was never the girl who dreamed about my wedding day, not even the dress. When we got engaged, it happened very naturally, when we were both ready for it. Neither one of us has ever been in a rush to get married. We're both fairly laid-back people and figured our wedding would be the same way. When we finally considered where to get married, we both wanted to get married in the courtyard of our favorite hotel in the world, which happens to be in Puerto Rico. When we realized it was also our most inexpensive choice, we knew we could have our "dream wedding" (though we never called it that): an intimate destination wedding with closest family and friends.

And then it happened: I started reading wedding magazines and blogs and watching wedding shows and turned into a big ball of stress and anxiety. I had doubts about the first dress I bought and ended up a 2 dress bride. My mom calls me almost weekly to go over which cousins won't be at the wedding and which ones probably won't buy me presents. I see pictures of other people's wedding and think, gosh, my wedding won't be nearly that pretty! I get angry and frustrated with vendors who won't get back to me. I finally had a major meltdown on Friday and even posted about it here on weddingbee (thank god for weddingbee!). I decided to take a break over the weekend from both wedding planning and my computer, and then the strangest thing happened.

I realized that my first dress is a great designer dress that I bought at a great price because it was a sample. It even fits like a glove (well, a very tight glove) and needed few alterations. Okay, so I now have a fully altered 2nd dress that I hopefully will be able to sell, but oh well. I also realized that the truly important people are all going to be at my wedding: immediate family, closest friends and, of course, me and my fiance! And that I've picked the vendors I've picked for good reasons, even with the occasional frustration. So in the end, I will be getting the intimate wedding I wanted in my dream location.

I'm so glad and grateful I realized this before the wedding! I'm still a few weeks away, so I'm sure there will be more frustrations and anxieties and possibly a meltdown or two. But at least I finally remembered what was important to me in the process.

I know this is a long post, but hopefully it will help other bees : ) Anyone else get lost in the process?

Hey pendragon, thanks for responding! At least there is someone else who feels the same way!! I swore I would never let it suck me in, but unfortunately it did. Sigh. I'm just hoping I can keep my new perspective up to and during the big day :)

Wow, I am totally with you on this one. Good for you for grounding yourself and reminding yourself what is really important to you! I'm sure your wedding will be amazing, even if (and maybe especially because) it doesn't fit the WIC mold. And you will look beautiful in whatever dress (or suit, or skirt, or bathing suit) you wear, because you will be a bride marrying her love.

The wedding industrial complex has claimed two friends' weddings and I'm afraid it will claim ours, too. Girls who were super confident and laid-back turned into girls who were incredibly stressed out about the 'look' of their wedding. It's nice to throw a pretty, color-coordinated party -- but I have to keep reminding myself that this wedding is NOT about an expression of our aesthetic and style as much as it is a huge commitment and the joining of two families I care about deeply, followed by a fun celebration.

As an example: I almost bought a beautiful white wedding dress that I have been stalking for months, simply because it was put on sale and is now in my budget. But here's the thing: I don't want a white wedding dress! I'm Indian, and pure white is a color for mourning in my family. So that was the most tangible reminder of how dangerous these magazines, shows, etc. can be, trying to convince me to buy something I don't really want and isn't true to who I am, or who we are as a couple. Yikes.

Miss Sequoia - I hear ya! I always wanted a blue wedding dress because, well, that's the color that looks best on me. And I was going to get a dress made in blue, but then freaked out about not looking bridal enough. Then my MOH sent me this really great article (I wish I had a link to it, but unfortunately I don't) about this bride who decided she wanted to wear blue on her wedding day and instead of paying for a wedding dress, she went out and splurged on a blue designer dress and couldn't have been happier. It was also the first time I learned that the whole white wedding dress really comes from some British queen, I think maybe Victoria, who decided to wear white on her wedding and other brides started copying her and somehow it became this huge tradition. So I guess I'm saying, get a dress in the color you want!! I'm now kind of jealous of brides who follow through with the idea to not wear white : )

Oh, and on the colors, I tell people I have colors (coral and blue) but really the only thing that will actually be coral are the BM dresses and the only thing that will be blue are my earrings LOL! Everything else will end up in various shades of blue/purple/pink, etc. cause that's just the nature of a destination wedding - I have no real control over it. And I've decided to be OK with it : )