Post # 1
He’s driving me nuts. EVERY little thing is an issue. EVERY little detail, even things I don’t expect him to have an opinion about.
Whether I have a bridesmaids’ luncheon the day before the wedding??? WTF is his problem with THAT now? I just texted him to say “So-and-so wants to host a bridesmaid lunch for me the day before the wedding.” And I say “YAY, how nice.” And he texts back: “That’s nice…but why? i have reservations…let’s talk about it later.”
AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! CAN’T HE JUST BACK OFF OF ONE LITTLE THING THAT NEED NOT INVOLVE HIM???
We are 18 days away and he is driving me crazy. Every little thing is making me sick.
Post # 3
Hehe, I’m sure a lot of girls on this site would love to have a super involved FI:) Maybe you should go buy him one of those bridal organizers with all the checklists and a microphone headset like those wedding planners wear:)
Post # 4
@nature_girl: Oh i know what you mean. LOL. The wedding planner got stuck in traffic and was like 15 minutes late for our tasting appointment. He totally got pissed off. His mother had to calm him down.
Post # 5
make him suffer, buy him the wedding planner dvd. Jlos acting skills will have him in tears. Jokes!
just send a text and say have you got something planned? if not im going ahead with it.
some people deal with stress better than others!
Post # 6
My FI is one! He drove both my wedding planner and me NUTS! Sometimes I just wanted to tell him to back off! He’s on business trip 2 weeks now and we have no ‘drama’ here. I include him in the conversation with my wedding planner. He doesn’t have time to read through everything but calls me everyday to say he really appreciate I take care of everything when he’s away. *lol*
It’s sweet that he wants to get involved in the wedding planning but sometimes… I think he needs to chill a bit.
Post # 7
OMG……I just got engaged and he is already driving me nuts!
We recently went to check out the venue we want and when I told him we had the appt ac ouple of days before he whined “Gosh I thought I would at least have a couple of weeks to let it sink in!” I explain that yes we can chill out after but with the dates we have in mind we NEED to get our names in the book before another bride comes along and takes our date…..blah,blah,blah so we go he falls in love with it and ever since then all I hear is….
You haven’t been including me in the wedding stuff?! I mean wtf I am chilling as he wanted to do initially and he is all like now you aren’t taking it serious?
Post # 8
i feel for all of you. my groomzilla claims i’m not doing anything to help with the planning…
yet each time i meet with a vendor, design something for our stationery, etc… he has to get a status update from me and either give his approval or change it. frustrating x 100!
so… at this point i’ve left most of it up to him since he loves being in charge!
Post # 9
Hahahaha, I realized today that my fi is becoming more and more of a groomzilla every day, and we just got engaged a few weeks ago! We wants to be involved with everything, and keeps saying he feels like he isn’t involved enough (mind you, we’re in the very beginning stages, haha). My favorite is when he starts freaking out about finding a venue and I tell him to calm down and his response is “I just want YOU to have a perfect day!” And I just smile and think, if I’m not freaking out, then why are you if it’s about me? But its cute, and I think I prefer this over him completely ignoring the fact that I’m planning a wedding…
Post # 10
Yes!!! I totally have a groomzilla!
I love him dearly, but our first and biggest real fight was over the color of the bridesmaid’s dresses!
I refuse to let him see my dress before the wedding, not so much out of superstition, but to make sure that one thing can be my decision. Actually, his input is still involved because it has a train, which he really, really wanted.
Here’s how that conversation went:
Him: “trains are so pretty, it would be like a pool of white by your feet!”
Me: “honey, trains remind me of little kids dragging blankies behind them. Plus I’ll have to deal with having it bustled”
Him: “but what about when you walk down the aisle?”
Me: “what about it? I can still walk without a train!”
Him: “but it won’t be right to walk down the aisle without a train.”
Me: sighs and figures out that most dresses come with trains anyway. decides to cave on this one.
Figuring out how to work together has been real training for marriage. I’ve started delegating him tasks and that helped alot. For one thing, he realized how overwhelming the process is. For another, having specific tasks helps us share control over the situation. We’re both pretty independent people in our thirties and used to making our own decisions. Wedding planning is teaching us alot about how to compromise and share.
Post # 11
And for those who want a super-involved FI, be careful for what you wish for!
Post # 12
@ginnyc : That’s so true about wedding planning being training for marriage. My FI and I are both really independent people, and our first real fights have been over stupid wedding stuff too!! It’s hard, and since the wedding is in my home state (and we’re out of the country all summer), he can’t really help at all. Whenever I run an idea by him, it’s either, “yeah that sounds fantastic” or “NO WAY HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT THAT?!!”
:: sigh ::
But it seems to make our relationship stronger when we come to an agreement 🙂
Post # 13
My FI is one!!! But, I have to admit, I like the attention he is putting in! He is a super photography nut and that’s the one thing I made him responsible for and already 2 engagement photographers bailed on us because FI had a list of what he wanted and how he wanted the photos shot! lol. Thank god we found an amazing wedding day photographer!
He’s gone with me on every vendor appt except for the dress. Sometimes I wonder if he’s doing it because he’s actually interested in it, OR to make sure I stay within our budget! LOL.
Post # 14
I think sometimes men who are in leadership positions are just used to calling the shots. If they’ve never been married before this is especially true for their personal lives – theyve have 100% control in the past.
Then another person steps in and they have to get used to the idea of compromising, accommodating another viewpoint, making choices they wouldn’t have made on their own… it can be an adjustment, I think! The wedding is usually the first big thing you plan together as a couple, and you kind of have to find your groove with it. Like someone else said, it’s like a training project!