(Closed) Anyone else marrying into a “big wedding” family?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

i TOTALLY can..my family is from lancaster county and the higher up mountains..we are a small famil, and most weddings are under 75 people TOPS. My Fiance is from philly area as well and is itailan..his family moves in GROUPs literally..everything they do is together.. his grandmother was one of 13 kids…with tonss of cousins aunts and uncles the family is like a PACK..lol 

thankgiving this year we will be having over 35 ( lets say 35 confirmed RSVP as of today, there is always drop ins!) Our guest list is way out of hand, and i havent even met most of his father side yet!!!!! For the wedding his family expects certain things so I can feel your pain! They were upset that our engagement (at 4am) was not called to each of them individually before it got leaked onto FB..also might i add that his aunt owned a bridal shop so the family it ALL about big weddings!

Post # 4
5758 posts
Bee Keeper

I think for the most part it has to do with the brides and what they want rather than what their families want or are used to having. I’m from NJ too, and my kids and neices and nephews have all had very different weddings, and all have been in the past 8 years. My daughters had smaller because they wanted smaller, and the others were much larger. My girls had both been in several large weddings and didn’t want the same for themselves.

I’d try to not be stressed about it at all. They’ll enjoy it all because it’s YOUR wedding, and that’s the most important part.

Bigger and lavish doesn’t equate to better.

Post # 6
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can relate, but I’m with the family who has “big weddings.”  Relatively speaking, our weddings aren’t super elaborate, but Fiance comes from a family who lived in a country during times when it wasn’t acceptable to have elaborate weddings, so what we’re doing is “big.”  Fiance and I are afraid his tiny family will feel overwhelmed by my ginormous crazy family and the festivities for the day. 

My Future Mother-In-Law even asked, “so what do we wear?  black pants for women?  khakis for men?”  LOL I think I heard a record screetch to halt when she said that.  When I explained to her she’d most likely be in a floor-length gown and Future Father-In-Law in a suit, she was surprised.  Needless to say, I will definitely be shopping with Future Mother-In-Law for her dress.

Post # 7
5758 posts
Bee Keeper

Where will it be held? In Georgia or NJ? I would think they’d be excited for something a little different.

My nephew’s wedding was in Philly last Saturday and was a pretty big event, but that’s what they wanted. We had a great time, but I’m glad it wasn’t something I had to help plan (or pay for) !

Post # 8
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m already married, but I totally understand what you mean. My DH’s side of the family has always been into big traditional weddings so of course when they found out we just wanted to get married in Vegas (just the 2 of us), they were very disappointed and upset about it. My family, however, was very understanding and wanted us to have the wedding we wanted. We compromised by letting his Mom throw us a reception when we returned from Vegas which worked out pretty good and left us all pretty happy. Perhaps, you can work out a compromise with them and do something that isn’t fully traditional, but has some traditional aspects? Maybe you’ll get lucky and they will offer to chip in money too if you talk more with his family about what your plans are (based on your budget).

Post # 10
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My future Mother-In-Law is definitely a big wedding kind of girl. Our American wedding is bare bones, no frills, quiet, and private, which is my style. But then, we’re honeymooning with his family in Indonesia for a much bigger wedding his mom is planning and I have no clue what she has in mind. She’s excited to be getting a new daughter and a bigger family.

So far I’ve heard she wants 4 or 5 wedding dresses, and 3 cakes. I’m just going to roll with the punches.

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