(Closed) Anyone else not "do" holidays?

posted 5 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I grew up a Jehovah’s witness, so we didnt celebrate holidays. I always got so upset around this time of year because it all seemed so festive and I couldnt participate. So now I’m all about the holiday season. I love decorating, I love looking at all the houses all glowing up at night. 

Post # 4
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

DH and I and our brothers and sisters are trying to make holidays better. Both of us have ridiculous divorced multitiered mixed/blended families, so christmas growing up was parents arguing over who had the kids and my mom insulting the gifts that my dad would give us then leaving us at home on Christmas eve so she could spend time with whoever she was engaged to at the time.

Soooooo even though it’s hard and feels like more trouble than it’s worth, we have been hosting holiday meals, decorating (I have no idea how to decorate) and establishing new holiday traditions for the next generation. 

Post # 5
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have a lot of bad memories from the holidays too.  I always get kind of depressed and anxious around planning family get togethers.  This year my husband and I decided to start our own traditions.  We put up a tree, bought the dog a Christmas sweater, and decided we are going to do stocking stuffer gifts for each other.  I am already starting to feel better about it and more “in the spirit.” 

Post # 6
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I was never big on the holidays, but FI has enough Christmas spirit for twelve people. So, he’s slowly easing me into starting our own traditions (though I was originally doing it to appease him, I now find some of it enjoyable). We put up our tree on Black Friday (pretty amazing for someone who doesn’t care for Christmas), watch my favorite holiday movie (“White Christmas” with Bing Crosby), and I bake Christmas cookies with his mom (and we always do Seven-Layer Cookies just because they’re my favorite, though they’re not very holiday-ish). And I love penguins, so we have a lot of penguin decorations. As you can tell, FI sneakily gets me into the holiday spirit by suggesting things he knows I’ll enjoy, Christmas-related or not.

Post # 7
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m Jewish but “celebrated” Christmas growing up. As I get older, I feel increasingly oppressed by Christmas. And now that I’m in the Midwest- I feel like its everywhere!

The only time I really enjoyed it was when FH and I were at Disneyland for the first time together- it was very special- that was 3 yrs ago.

I am extremely over the holidays this year, and I think FH is joining me on that sentiment this year. He actually said- lets just do hanukkah this year. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not into the holidays either. My dad ruined every Christmas for us growing up. He’d sit there on the couch and complain that my mom didn’t buy him all the expensive gifts he wanted. He didn’t get excited about us kids opening presents. He’d sit there staring into space and looking miserable or do a crossword and outright ignore us. It was such a downer.

He refused to host Christmas dinner at our house and would only go to his mother’s house for it. If we wanted to visit my mom’s parents, my dad refused to go. We spent a lot of Christmases with my dad at his mom’s house and my mom and us kids at her dad’s house. Inevitably, someone on my mom’s side of the family would make some comment about her no-good husband and there would be a hushed argument. Lots of stressful undercurrents. It just didn’t paint a festive picture to me.

We used to go to church but I stopped around age 13 (just didn’t make sense to me anymore) so I had absolutely no reason to celebrate the holiday. And money was hard the whole time I was growing up. My mom would inevitably want to buy us kids all kinds of fun stuff and then she’d be paying off credit cards for months afterwards, complaining to my dad about the high payments, etc. And what’s crazy about that is that we never wanted all that stuff. I was perfectly content with a few new books and comfy socks, maybe a pair of jeans or two. But she’d go all-out and then the money arguments would start again.

Even now, when us kids are grown, there’s still drama. My mom’s got granddaughters to spoil and frets that she can’t buy them $100 baby dolls and full-size kitchen play sets. My kid doesn’t need those things! Hell, I don’t have room for it in my house anyways. But she still tries, and then complains about having no money after the holidays. And then there’s the mess of trying to divide our visits between my mom, my dad, FI’s family, and coordinating with my daughter’s father on how she’s going to see HIS family over the holidays, too.

Wow, sorry for the rant, guess I really needed to let that out, haha. The holiday season sucks. Ugh.

Post # 9
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I want to start getting into the holidays, but so far since I stopped seeing my immediate family for them, (since I married DH) the last several years- I have just been avoiding them and dreading them and trying to get over all the negative associations I have with them.  My mom kicking me out of the house every Christmas, her having huge fakey parties, my sisters ignoring what was going on in the house, I always got sick, no one would be there at the airport, being given clothing I hated and guilted into wearing it, huge family abusive freakouts and drama.  Ugh!  I just have hated them and DH and I have pretty much laid low the last few years.  Last year I was in bed for two weeks super sick, so I sort of missed them.  I would like to start (next year) doing some traditions for the baby- but just with DH, the baby, and me.  Mostly, I have always dreaded the holidays!

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