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Actually, if it makes you feel any better...I am having a pretty formal wedding with like 150 people, but am not having assigned seating at all. I figure that the guests are capable of picking their own seats and getting along. That's one less thing I have to worry about too.
Are you having a "cocktail" hour?
We didn't have assigned seating. We had about 35 people attend the wedding. Are you having any other food or just the pizza? We had some small snack things while we were taking pictures and then the DJ announced that the buffet was open. You could probably have your DJ make an announcement letting people know that they can eat at any time. Or just a family member could announce it.
We didn't do assigned seating...too many "they won't sit by so and so" problems. We had several things that we hoped would get people to mingle and they still didn't. You can't really force them to do anything.
I think we'll have about 150 people (it's a pretty big backyard). No cocktail hour as of yet, but it could happen, and I think we'll have to figure out what snacks to get (there will be salad, and we are brewing our own beer as favors). Thanks for the feedback. This is why I love weddingbee!
The cocktail hour and snacks could go hand in hand...you don't really have to serve alcohol during this time. We won't be.
well we're having assigned tables, but not assigned seating at the tables. i was confused when i heard people went that far with the assigned seating.
We're also doing assigned tables. I'm not sure if it's a blessing or curst that I work in the wedding industry... but I've seen a lot of bad things happen when there's no assigned tables....
I'm not. Mainly because people don't do those around these parts, and also I just am trying to save my sanity. :)
We did my brother's RD in my mom's backyard. We did the ceremony walk through over on one side and then my mom had her cabana area set up with a hired bartender for cocktails. She also had cheese and fruit display in that area too. We did rent a tent. The only assigned seats we did were for the bridal party/family. That way they would be near the bride/groom for the toasts. We had 100 people.
Oh and glad we got a tent... it was the worst rain in Houston in months!
@KLP2010 - yeah my worry was that people would be spreading out at the tables or not wanting to sit at a random table with someone they didn't know because it was the last seat left or something. i was worried if i didn't do assigned tables, then i would run out of tables!
Big wedding + no assigned seating = horrible for guests.
These debates happen every once in a while on the boards, and the majority of bees usually supports assigned seating. Clearly for a small wedding or a hors d'oeuvres reception it's different, but when you're serving a meal, you should assign tables if not seats. There's always a couple of bees who say they went to a big wedding where unassigned seating worked well, so it's technically possible. But in the majority of cases, not assigning seats leads to mayhem and uncomfortable guests.
I'm not either, like Scissors, people just don't do that in the region our families are from. Actually, if we were to assign everyone to their own tables they would think it was strange and, well, dumb. I can see how it can be helpful for something over 100 people though. We will have tables designed just for the immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings and maybe aunts/uncles) so they can sit closer to us and not spread out around the room by chance. We are only expecting about 65 or so out of the 130.
my SO doesn't want assigned seating because every wedding he's gone to he's been placed with people he doesn't like, so i don't think we will... i think it's the better route, because we know our guests and i'm sure we could sit them with likeminded people, but i can also see guests knowing where to sit themselves...
i think we'll probably have 'reserved' tables for family.
I am having a 200+ wedding reception and we are not have assigned seating. People don't really do that in my area. Almost every wedding that I have been to has not had assigned seating and it worked fine. Honestly I just don't think anything about it. I am going to have reserved tables for the immediate family and wedding party (we are not having a head table). I agree with MissAsB, I would have the DJ announce that everyone can start eating. We are having a buffett and that is what we are going to do. Your brick oven pizza idea is REALLY cool btw! Sounds so YUMMY!
We are having a 350 guest wedding, and there will be no assigned seating at our reception. As a couple other girls on here have mentioned, I think it might be a regional thing, because until I lived back east, I had never attended a wedding reception with assigned seating. The majority of our guests are family, and we are from a very small town, where most of the guests will know each other anyways! We are reserving a few tables for the immediate families, and the head table of course, but no other tables will be reserved.
NO ASSIGNED SEATING! I figure people will sit with the people they want to sit with. I just can't handle having to assign seats for everyone when I probably won't even know the final guest list until I see people there!
no assigned seating for us either! We are having a large wedding, close to 200 people! I figured people will move around anyway, and my mom swears it's not custom in mexican weddings... we are not going traditionally mexican, but I will go traditional on this part!
I wonder if Southerners tend to avoid assigned seating because everyone is raised to be chatty. Odds are, if you don't know your seatmate she's related to the cousin of that nice boy going to medical school with your prom date's fraternity brother. So you're practically family!
We're not assigning seating, but we're making escort cards for everyone so that they don't lose their seats. We only have about 80 guests.
@ tea, I think that you may be onto something. Ha!!! We are raised to be SO chatty!!
I'm doing assigned seating (we have 250 gusets). My FI thinks its a waste of time, but I'm insisting. Assigned seating isn't usually done in Mexican weddings so he thinks people will think we're being snobby.
We were at his niece's wedding two months ago and there were empty seats at some of the tables and other areas where people standing. There were 2 seats empty here, or one over there..MESS! If people want to move around after dinner, no problem, but I for one like knowing that when I go to a reception, there will be a seat with my name on it...
of course, I'm talking semi-formal/formal weddings. casual weddings with a low guest counts don't need assigned seating
We are also having a very casual wedding, being catered by a local bbq restaurant. Our wedding will be relatively small, so we opted for not doing seating assignments. Honestly, I don't really care where people sit. Dinner only lasts, what, an hour? And besides, I would like both sides of our family and friends to mingle and get to know one another without being forced upon someone they don't know.
We are not doing assigned seating except for a head table. Where most of my family is from, assigned seating is just not the norm. I also do not want to deal with the figuring out how to place people. Any wedding that I have been to with assigned seating has been miserable.
@ amandagrace- We're doing a gourmet pizza reception too!! It's going to be a sit down reception, but we're not doing assigned seating, just designated tables for the family. We're going for the casual relaxed feel and want people to be free to mingle and move around whenever they want :)
We're not doing assigned seating, either. We're going to have around 100 guests, and a ballroom reception (albeit with food stations, not a sit down dinner). My sister had around 150 at her wedding, with a sit down dinner, and it worked perfectly. Save your sanity, nix the escort cards! :)
We're doing the assigned tables, mainly because I didn't like the "fend for yourself" approach to seating yourself & I'm not that much of a stickler saying that you have to sit in a specific spot.
My sister tried the assigned seating at her wedding. It did not work out to well. People ended up gathering around other tables with people that they wanted to talk to. I am just going to have my guests sit where they choose, and work around that.
I'm only assigning tables. I don't want to go to the expense and effort of individual placecards. People can absolutely feel free to mingle after the meal and sit at other tables. I am giving the caterers the number of each type of meal for each table and they will just ask "chicken or beef?" before they serve it.
I think not having assigned seating is a problem for wedding guests. Of course there are some parties where it is apprioate. Or, I can see it at BBQ or cocktail receptions.
Everyone should do what works for them, but if you are planning on assigned seating for the family and bridal party, what is your reason? The other guests will be in the same situation your family and wedding party would be in without assigned tables.
However, the only wedding I ever went to without assigned seating was horrible for the guests so I probably don't have an open mind about this.
We're not doing assigned seating with the exception of immediate families. We are having about 125 guests. However, most people already know each other since we grew up together which eliminates getting stuck at a table with "strangers." Plus, we will have a few extra tables for room to spread out and make it easier to sit with who you want.
300 gusts, but we are not assigning seats. Most everyone knows people on our list and we want people to feel free to sit where ever they'd like.
I've been to several large weddings (150+) and some have done it and others haven't.
In the cases where they have, it was weird navigating where each table was. As in "I'm looking for table 12 and I'm at 24. Where's table 12?" kind of thing. You can also tell who is on the 'inner circle' vs who isn't based on the pairings. For closer friends, we are sitting with all our other invited friends. For aquaintances, we got stuck with randoms.
On the other hand, unassigned seating was nice for the bride, but then your guests get stuck holding seats/tables for 6 of your friends who are at the bar or delayed in getting to the reception site who all want to sit together.
I would make the call based on feasibility, time, and money.
Not trying to start anything here but I find it a little rude to say that not having assigned seating will make the reception horrible for guests. I've never been to a reception with assigned seating (and I've been to a LOT of weddings) and it never, ever made my experience horrible. And at my own wedding in October we will not be having assigned seating and if someone came up to me and said that made their experience horrible I would either respond by telling them they could leave or grabbing a napkin and sharpie/crayon/whatever was around and write their name and slap it on a table.
I wanted to do assigned tables, but my mom's making me do assigned seats. (200 person wedding)
@eeh2010---I think Lynnabby's comment was in response to Amaroo24's comment about assigned seating being "miserable". I'm sure everyone could tell us a different story about how/why they prefer things one way or another, but I think to best address to OP--no, you do not NEED assigned seats. Some people prefer to know where they're sitting, others would prefer to choose who they sit by. Ultimately, it's your decision! It is common to do either or. Whether you have assigned seats or not, I'm sure your guests will understand to mingle about...This happens naturally and I don't think you should worry about it.
I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I think any kind of wedding can be wonderful for the hosts and guests. And, of course you know what is better for you and the type of wedding you are having. I'm sure it will work out wonderfully.
I was answering the question I thought was being asked in the OP. Sorry if I misread what was being asked. I was only thinking about a specific situation I encounted when attending a wedding without assigned seating. When I think about it I have been to some cocktail receptions and more casual weddings where it did work out. Again sorry if I offended anyone.
I don't think that the comments were taken offensively (at least to me). Assigned seating seems to be a contencious a topic as having children at your wedding. My response earlier was in regards to my experience at weddings with assigned seat. They were just not enjoyable and limited socializing or being a sociable person I was put at the table of 'non-talkers' to get them to socialize. Again this was my experience.
In the end, I really think you need to go with what would fit you, your guests and wedding style. Both options are common. Not having one saves the bride and groom last minute stress related to seating, extra guests and guest cancelling. However, if you are having a plated meal assigned seating or at least visible place cards might be a request of your caterer.
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We are having a very casual, laid back type of wedding in my future in laws backyard. The caterer is a local pizza shop that has a mobile brick oven that they will be bringing to serve our guests yummy gourmet pizza, and we are renting a tent in case of rain.After the ceremony,while we take pictures, we kind of want people to feel free to just go and get their food whenever they want, and hang out and mingle, but I'm not quite sure what the best way to communicate this is. Any ideas? We're still working on the day of details.