Post # 1
I’m feeling a little down today about the whole “no baby shower” thing. Anyone else not having one?
My co-workers were talking about throwing us a baby shower this spring, but now they’ve decided to have a baby meet & greet this summer instead. I think they changed their minds about having a traditional baby shower because we are not finding out the sex until birth. I’ve gotten a lot of comments at work about how my co-workers would would buy us a present if they knew what sex the baby was, or how they want to hold out until after the baby is born so they can buy it something “appropriate.” I think a baby meet & greet would actually be a lot of fun, but the summer months are super busy at my workplace. Most people work long hours/weekends, and I’m afraid our little party will be kinda forgotten about in the craziness of the summer months. Also, a co-worker’s wife is currently pregnant, about 6 weeks behind me, and her baby shower is already being planned… the same week as my due date. 🙁
My parents and my in-laws are buying us some of the big items (nursery furniture and travel system) and we are very lucky to be getting some hand-me-downs from my family (some clothes, a few toys, etc…), but nobody has offered to throw me a family baby shower. When my mom was up last week, I think she kinda noticed my disappointment about not having a shower. She said maybe her church would throw us a diaper shower, but she sounded kinda hesitant. I think she would pull something together if I asked her to, but I don’t want to come across as demanding/ungrateful. She also mentioned a while back that her sorority would like to have a “meet & greet” party this summer, but last week she said that’s probably not going to happen now. I guess one of the other sorority member’s daughters is also pregnant, and there’s a lot of drama surrounding the planning of her shower.
Idk, I just had a lot of fun at my bridal showers; I was looking forward to a baby shower, too. I am really grateful that our families are chipping in to help with some of the baby stuff (through purchases and hand-me-downs), but I was kinda excited for the whole cheesy games/sharing stories aspect of the shower. Know what I mean? 🙂
Post # 3
What a bummer! I would have had my feelings hurt severly if I wouldn’t have had a shower. Do you have any (non-work) friends that might plan a shower for you?
Post # 4
@Mrs Spring…that’s a bummer. One of my close friends wasn’t planning on having a shower for her second child but I insisted b/c ALL babies are a blessing and should be celebrated. Do you have any close friends who would be able to throw something for you? Sometimes things like this get lost int he shuffle b/c everybody thinks somebody else is handling it.
Post # 5
That is a total bummer. I understand why you’re upset. I don’t really have any advice unfortunately 🙁
My sister didn’t find out the sex of her baby until birth either and I think it’s AWESOME. I think it’s totally silly that they wouldn’t want to buy presents. My sister got tons of green and yellow stuff, along with some unisex type items like cute hooded towels and useful stuff like breast pads and such.
I wish I could help!!
Post # 6
Wait, why can’t they throw you a baby shower just because you don’t know the sex yet?!!?!? That is ridiculous. When our moms were having babies NO ONE knew the sex – that didn’t stop people from having baby showers!
In fact, my cousin told me that she very purposely did not tell anyone the sex of her baby because she knew EVERYONE would buy clothes and they REALLY needed other, practical items. Her tactic totally worked – she got almost everything they needed off her registry.
On the bright side, I bet your baby meet and greet is going to be a BLAST and a LOT of people will come because they will be so excited to meet your new little bebe!
Post # 7
Unfortunately, not really. Most of our friends are work friends or live far away (we only moved here about 1.5 years ago). So I was kinda counting on a family shower or a work shower, but it doesn’t look like either of those are really going to pan out. I’m just a little disappointed, I guess…
Post # 8
Ah, thanks guys. 🙂 You make me feel better! I appreciate the comments.
It doesn’t normally bother me when people make comments about us not finding out the sex. One co-worker told me we “are being inconsiderate,” and I just thought that was funny. But the comments combined with the new decision not to have a shower at all and the enthusiasm everyone is showing for our co-worker’s baby (they are having a boy) kinda gets me down. Lame… 🙂
Post # 9
Ugh to your coworkers! God forbid a baby girl wear something blue! The world will come to an end and she will not be properly feminine. They are babies! There isn’t much difference in the sex at that age.
I think asking for a baby shower is in bad taste because of the presents and expense but could you ask for a themed baby shower? Like themed bridal showers that could be very inexpensive for attendiees and you’ll get the bonding aspect of it. I think it would be alright to ask a friend of family member to throw you one of those.
Post # 10
I’m sending you ((hugs)) & emotional strength. I’m so sorry this is happening right now. But it’s true that, unlike wedding showers (often relegated as the realm of the BMs or elder family members), baby showers aren’t “assigned” to any particular person. In my family, it’s been the unspoken rule that the future godmother will throw the shower…maybe mention it to your baby’s prospective godparents? I’m sure they’d be happy to host a shower in anticipation of their godchild…
Secondarily, I noticed you’re in Cali, Mrs. Spring…are you anywhere near LA? Perhaps we could get together an LA Bee meet up & have an “under $10” shower for you? After all your advice on the Catholic Boards & other boards, I feel like I know you & that your baby should definitely be celebrated!
Post # 11
@ ms. pascua – You’re so sweet! I actually live in Tahoe. If I was in LA or even SF I would totally be at every single WB meet-up, though. I love the posters here!
Maybe I’ll bring up the subject to my mom again. It’d be really nice to have a “necessities” shower or even just a celebration barbeque with family/friends… My SIL is going to be the baby’s godmother, and I know she would definitely throw us a shower, but she lives in Virginia. She’s super great, though, and is currently making us a “surprise” gift for the baby. 🙂
Post # 12
Mrs. Spring- If I come home before our baby is born, I’ll throw it! It’s disappointing for sure, and I think that not knowing the sex is an entirely unreasonable “reason” for not doing one.
A meet and greet could be fabulous (thrown in the right way), but a shower is better for spotlighting the pregnancy!
All this said, I doubt we’re having a shower either… Most of our friends and family are at home, and we’re not sure that we can fly down before the baby comes…
Post # 13
We won’t be having a shower. I just moved duty stations, as did all my friends from my last duty station, so everyone is scattered everywhere. All my college friends are scattered everywhere. My family is 2000 miles away. DH’s family is scattered everywhere. It’s just logistically impossible to get a shower since we’d have to spend some serious cash just to attend. We’re getting some pretty awesome presents from my parents and my SIL who is also expecting (and is getting a bunch of hand-me-downs from her clients). We got a crib and changing table. But I still want the party with the diaper cake and the baby stuff everywhere and the cheesy games! I never got a bridal shower either, so I feel like I have to miss out on all the traditional parties/showers. Being so isolated from family and friends…not fun!
Post # 14
DG, you’re great. Anytime you come home we should probably get together. 🙂 I hope both of us can get the experience of a shower; it’s a very important part of the pregnancy process!
Post # 15
Maybe we should throw a “virtual shower” for all of us in the hive. I think we deserve to have all the baby bonding of a traditional shower!
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2007 - Rosary Chapel & Monterey Marriott, Monterey, CA
We’re not having a shower either… and I’m just down the road from you 🙂 The reasons are more behind me not wanting to have multiple female-centric parties when friends and family are scattered all around. Instead, we’re going to have 2 “Sip and Sees” when the baby arrives — one here and one in my hometown.
People kind of scoff when I say we’re not having a shower and that we’re not registered for much, but since we’re a surprise family as well, I think it’s just much more practical this way. PLUS… I really want people to meet the baby and not just stare at my belly. 🙂