Post # 1
I have been met with some serious nastiness when I say I’m not registering. It might be that people are reacting because they themselves registered, and they feel like I’m being judgemental toward them. I really don’t care if people do or not. We just don’t see the point.
Fiance and I are pretty well established and have no need to register for plates, linens, etc. Anything we would put on a registry would be frivolous and a waste of our friends’ money. We’d be registering just to register. SO, I said, screw it. If people want to get us gifts, they can, but we’re not going through the hassle or make people feel obligated.
I’m having a shower, but it’s just going to be mimosas and hanging out, not an awkward gift-opening. I’m really excited about it!!
What responses have you come up with for people who act shocked that you’re not registering? I’m very ‘live and let live,’ and I wish other people would be that way toward me!!
Post # 3
We were not going to register when we first started planning, we ended up doing it though and am actually super glad I did. But when people asked us we just said “We actually already have everything we need, your presence at the wedding is the gift we really want” and they always seemed pleased with that answer. good luck!
Post # 4
We did a registry on amazon for household items that we normally use (paper towels, flea and tick medicine for our dog, hand lotion, etc). I guess some people assume that by not registering you are asking for cash/money and they might think it rude (although it’s really their fault for assuming). No matter what, you’re never going to make everyone happy, so you might as well do what you wanted to do in the first place.
Post # 5
My response has been “We are not registered because we don’t need or desire anything other than your well wishes”.
Post # 6
if you’re going on a honeymoon, you could do a honeyfund.
Post # 7
I did/will. But that is because there are things I do need and need upgrades on. So I’d rather tell people what those things are then to receive random stuff. But I do think it is ridiculous to register for things you don’t need just to register, so I wouldn’t do it either if I were you!
I think there is that MyRegistry that you can register for anything from any website. So if there are a few things you want you could compile it there. That is, if there is anything else you want! Or amazon. I don’t think you necessarily have to do household stuff either. Maybe you want some camping supplies or new throw pillows, or other items that would benefit both of you but aren’t necessarily kitchen/bath stuff. I’d buy someone that as a gift!
Post # 8
It is ultimately your decision, but it may be a good idea to put a few items on a registry for those people who insist on buying you things. That way, it’s easy to return after your wedding. Otherwise, you may end up with a bunch of regifted crock pots and random home items you don’t know where to return to.
Post # 9
We debated it, but after seeing friends not do a traditional registry (they had a honeymoon registry only) and get tons of picture frames with no gift receipts… we decided to register. Some people are going to want to buy a gift, and we want to keep unnecessary items out of our home. So we registered to upgrade/replace some things or get some things we wouldn’t splurge on for ourselves.
If I wasn’t registering and people inquired, I’d just say “We’ve been so lucky to have everything we need for a home. The best gift you could gift us is your presence/well wishes!” (depending on if they were coming or not)
It really is regional, I think. In some area – GIFTS ARE BEING GIVEN COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. In places like that, I think it’s kind of risky not to register and you’ll end up with a lot of generic stuff you probably will hate and can’t return. In other places, people get that no registry = cash.
Post # 10
When people ask if/where you’ve registered, I would just respond with something like
there isn’t much we needfrom a traditional registry, but we plan on buying a home/going on a honeymoon/renovating our kitchen/buying a car to go on many roadtrips togethr and would greatly appreciate any gifts towards that.
Post # 11
@NAvery: “I think it’s kind of risky not to register and you’ll end up with a lot of generic stuff you probably will hate and can’t return.”
I don’t get what’s wrong with this? If I get stuff I don’t want, I’ll give it to a thrift store or someone who wants it. If someone insists that they want to “bring something”, I tell them to bring whatever is convenient for them.
Post # 12
We didn’t register, and I don’t think anyone ever asked me about it. I had 2 showers, one of which was a surprise and one of which was a wine shower.
Post # 13
We too will have been living together for 2.5 years when we get married. We will pretty much be set for house stuff. I’ll probably register for a fee things like upgraded pots/pans for the older crowd that likes to buy actual items.
Post # 14
@chemfemme: Definitely nothing wrong with it if you’re okay with donating it. I personally would feel bad sending it to Goodwill a week after the wedding (and I am usually ruthless with purging), so it would sit around, clutter up my space, and annoy me.
Post # 15
I think people need to respect the bride and grooms decisions! If you have everything you need and don’t desire any replacements to what you have, then there’s no need to register for anything. Nowadays, there is no “traditional method” in the world of weddings – that’s what makes them so great 🙂
Post # 16
We were met with the same resistence when we mentioned we weren’t signing up for a registry, so we got creative. Turns out the resort chain we are having our wedding and subsequent honeymoon offer a Honeymoon Registry. So rather then ask for a toaster we don’t need, we are asking our guest to help us pay for our honeymoon. Dollar amount is between $25-$100. We know people can’t afford to go crazy. The registry also allows for you to send out an e-mail, set up a website and other handy l’il things.
AM Resorts represent Dreams, Secrets, Now, Sunscape and Zoetry properties and we’ve registered for things like :
– a night of their honeymoon
– resort credit (can be applied to room, activities, spa…etc)
– an excursion
– Spa treatments
Just a suggestion and hey…everyone can enjoy a holiday even if they don’t necessarily need it….another toaster, not so much!