(Closed) Anyone else paid/paying for their own ring?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Did you pay/are you paying for your own ring?
    Yes, it made sense for us because I made more/had more money etc. : (17 votes)
    11 %
    No, he could easily afford it, but if I were in a better position to pay I would : (19 votes)
    12 %
    No, and he went into debt to pay for it : (10 votes)
    6 %
    No, and I got a much less expensive ring than I would have wanted : (8 votes)
    5 %
    No, and I would never consider every paying for my own ring even if it meant not getting what I want : (37 votes)
    24 %
    Other, explain : (22 votes)
    14 %
    We both paid for the ring/joint fiances/etc. : (43 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I answered other – I could afford to pay part of it (he actually borrowed some of the money from me) but he is adament about HIM being the one to pay for it and for me to not contribute so he is paying it all, either directly to the store or back to me.

    ETA: I think your plan is perfectly reasonable 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I voted “other” since our situation wasn’t listed. We both paid for my ring since we had joint finances already. It was already “our” money so where the funds came from didn’t matter. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I struggled with this issue when we got an engaged. It’s just a psychological thing, but I decide that i wouldn’t pay for my own engagement ring. I can’t explain it, but that just feels wrong to me. Instead I settled for a much less expensive engagement ring and opted to upgrade later.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Back in the day, like two years before we got engaged, I offered to write him a check for the ering, so that he could buy me what I wanted. I thought that the only reason he hadn’t gotten it was because of money, and I had the money sitting in savings. So I told him, this will cover the ring I want, and if you want to spend more, be my guest, but you don’t have to. Then he decided that it wasn’t about the money and he was waiting till I was older (fair, because I was 19). He refused to take it, which was nice because then I could afford to buy my car 🙂 (it was like 1500 bucks, so it let me get a 5k car that will last ten years vs a 3.5k car that wouldn’t last as long). And then when he did propose, he spent a lot more than I had expected, and got me a ring twice as big as I had asked for. Turns out he started saving for it pretty soon after we started dating <3. Oh and for those of you who think I was nuts when I was 19, we had been together for over 2 years, and were discussing having a 2-4 year engagement.

    Post # 8
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We had both been contributing to an account to start saving for a house and I told him to take some of that money, in addition to the money he had already saved, to pay for the ring. Your reasoning makes sense and that’s along the lines I was thinking. I wanted a ring that I wanted (and would have taken him a few more months to save up for) and I wanted it paid for so we could move on to saving more for the house again.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I already had two diamond rings that I never wear. I told him no engagement ring was necessary. I got a .5ct diamond ring anyway. I only wear it when we are going out. as far as I am concerned, it was a nice but needless gesture.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My e-ring and his band are heirlooms, but we had my wedding bands made by a jeweler. Those payments came out of our wedding fund, which we’d contributed to evenly. So I say we both bought the bands, but I guess we could say he bought the bands and I paid the photog…it doesn’t really matter to us 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    He surprised me with the e-ring, I had nothing to do with it.  When I started looking at wedding bands, I found a ring that was probably more diamond than either of us were thinking, but the price was good because they had bought it before prices started rising so much.  We discussed and I felt that because he wants a ceramic ring (for safety reasons) that will cost less than $100, it just made sense to me that I buy my wedding band….

    Post # 12
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @UpstateCait:  Same here.  We’d been running a household together for three years, so even if it technically came from his paycheck, it was because mine covered something else essential or on our list of wants.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The ring I want would be between $100-$200 custom made, he will probably pay it no problem but if it’s tight I would go halfsies and then halfsies when we buy his engagement gift. I have slightly more money but not enough to really say I’m better off, he’s just had to cut his hours more than mine because he’s starting his stage/clinical part of his program. We make practically the same per hour. We’re both pathetically broke-a$$ students but I’m in Canada so my tuition is waaaayyyyyy less.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We have joint finances and own a house together so although “he” paid for it, it technically comes out of our together money anyway.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Any money he uses on the ring comes out of money that otherwise would have been saved/available after the wedding to use jointly, so in effect, we all pay for our rings even if we didn’t “technically” pay for them!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2981 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    He saved up for it by himself, before we had joint finances, and I had no idea what it cost until I saw the specs. I don’t think I’d ever buy my own e-ring, but I’d definitely buy my own upgrade if I wanted a bigger diamond or other setting (which I don’t!).

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