(Closed) Anyone Else Planning Alone?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1149 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry about your parent’s divorce.  I have been there, done that (parents split when I was 12) and even if it’s the right decision it’s still really hard.  {{{DilemmaBride}}}

I’m not planning a wedding (I work here!) but if I were, I’m pretty sure I’d be in the same boat as you – I live across the country from my family and because of my age (late 30’s) my friends, even though they would be happy for me, are kind of "over" weddings. So I’d be on my own.

I would definitely lean heavily on the support of great Communities like WeddingBee.  Daily I am astounded at the generosity and support members of the Hive give to each other.  

The other thing I would do is seek out an aspiring wedding coordinator in your wedding city and enlist their help.  Because they will want to build their portfolio / client list, their rates are bound to be very affordable.  Ideally you can find someone who’s done a few weddings (so you can check references).  Seeing as you are part of an active wedding Community and you’ll of course want to share your photos and wedding experience here, she would definitely get some exposure and you’d get the help you need, so — win/win!

Good luck to you and call on the Hive whenever you need support, ideas, help, etc.

We look forward to watching your special day evolve in its planning and come to fruition next year!

Best, -Lori

Post # 4
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I feel like I am there too!

I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 bridesmaids.  The Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister, who is also engaged (but not yet planning).  I stay away from her negativity.  She just is not very nice to me, but family would have freaked out if she wasn’t Maid/Matron of Honor.  Luckily my mom is taking on a lot of my sister’s responsibilities.  

I have my mom, but she is a mother of seven.  I compete for her time with my siblings, her church (she is way involved) and  whatever else.  She just seems too busy for me.  Like, if we are out shopping, then at 2 pm she must run home to prepare for dinner!  Also, lately she had been criticizing all of my ideas, often calling them unnessesary or a waste of money.

My other 2 bridesmaids are my friend Sara who works full time and has a 10 month old child, and my Future Sister-In-Law who lives with her husband and three kids in Minnesota.

The past two days I cried to Fiance, and he is trying to help.  The thing is, he helps out wonderfully with the "big" things, like cake selection.  He just doesn’t seem to see the importance of the little things (favors, etc).

I am just feeling so stressed out.

Post # 5
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Im planning everything myself. If im need help I usually come here and post a blog and see what all of you guys say.

I only have one sister and she is willing to help me in anything. I just dont want to bother her about it as much because I dont want her to tell me in a few months that she is sick about hearing all the time WEDDING. LOL

I dont have my mom with me either to help out. Since she passed away three years ago.

Post # 6
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am planning everything my self and I have enjoyed (almost) every moment of it actually.  My older sister just got married this past weekend, so she has completely been focused on her own wedding (understandably!).  My mom’s husband is very sick so she is not able to help out.  My Bridesmaids have their own lives and I don’t feel like bothering them about wedding stuff.  I am the first one to get married out of my friends, so I don’t expect them to really understand how much hard work goes into planning a wedding (especially a wedding for nearly 300 people).  I just try to be super organized and I have been trying to get everything done early so I am not extremely stressed when the wedding nears. 

People tend to have their own opinions about everything, so this is one positive thing about planning yourself…You get to chose what you want without anyone trying to change your mind or tell you your idea is silly.  You get to completely make you and your fiance happy!

Good luck with the planning. 

Post # 7
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry about your parents.  I hear you.  My Fi was OTT.  My mom had surgery.  My BMs were mostly Out of Town.  I got a little help from my Maid/Matron of Honor.  Actually. I probably could have gotten more from her, but I guess I liked doing it mostly myself.  Doyou have your Fiance to at least go with you to big decisions, like venues, cake tasting, florist?  Who ever is paying or contributing to the wedding, I would think might enjoy having some input.  And if it’s just you and your Fiance, I think he might want to at least check out the options.

It sounds like you have some time.  I would make a checklist and timeline.  Ge all of the big stuff organized first.  (Ceremony and reception coordinated one month, then try for attire next month -or at least try somethings more ongoing for a couple months, then work on photgraphers- florist-bakeries, etc).  Hopefully it will go smoothly.  But if you could get a little help from your Fi to make those big decisions, all the better.

Post # 8
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

All of my girls are extremely busy as well.  I have a blog where I post ideas and I have the girls here.  Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriends and sisters are great and have been very helpful… but in some ways we’re all doing this on our own.  Things got a lot better for me when my fiance got really excited about different aspects, and I can always bounce an idea off of him, so that’s helpful.

Good luck, and we’re always here!

Post # 9
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I pretty much planned everything solo  

I live in Manhattan, most of my cousins are scattered all over, and distant relatives are in the Philippines, my Fiance is in England and mom just arrived from the Philippines.


I move every 2 years, so I pretty much thought I’d wed in the same city I was living which so happened to be Manhattan the most expensive city in the world.  So, I had to do aaaalll  my research, aaaalll the haggling, aaaaall the negotiating, it’s a little lonely, my Fiance should have been with me when I told my family, when I looked at venues, when I was looking for videographers.  But rather than saying woe is me, on the bright side, I have a lot of say in what happens, sometimes the only say; plus I can put my negotiating skills to the best use ever, and it gave an outlet to my creative nature which has been dormant because of career; so there are good things about it too there’s a little sadness about it, but on the other hand I really enjoy all this planning


My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sis and my niece is my Bridesmaid or Best Man but my sis has a family and is very busy, she helps me  alot when I need things in the burbs and I’ll bring my favors to her house and we and her kids work on  it; I didn’t choose any friends for Bridesmaid or Best Man, because I move so much Ive lost touch with  old friends ove the years so it’s mainly me doing all the leg work


but its fun, plus you have TOTAL control and it will be as you like it, no other strong opinions to worry about that’s the nice thing  

Post # 10
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Me! My Fiance is military and lives far away. It’s a lot of a hassle to get his help on it all. My parents live 5 hours away and my bridesmaids are either a) out of state b) in college or c) on travel for work. So i’m on my own.

I make lists and stick to them. I make my Fiance do tedious stuff like "find bartender" and "reserve a keg" but honestly, I do the planning. 

I LOVE asking Q’s or opinions on weddingbee and getting immediate answers. I don’t feel so crazy! It’s nice to have someone to bounce ideas off

Post # 11
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yeah this wedding site is so great you get a lot of great ideas, plus no one knows what you’re going through except other brides to be 🙂 so its a great support group

Post # 12
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yep, solo planning as well. No choice, my parents and daughter are deceased and my attendents do not seem overly interested. Heck, it is less than 3 months til the wedding and they haven’t even gotten their dresses yet!

Post # 13
41 posts

hello there! i am so sorry that this is all happening. For some people, planning solo can be hard. I am planning everything on my own. Ive always wanted to be a wedding planner and help other people plan their weddings. Honestly, even though i love planning my wedding i also hate planning it too because its MY wedding. I would rather help others plan their big day. im not sure why but maybe because i cant help myself figure out what i really want therefore, i change my mind all the time. But im good with helping others figure out what they want. Does this make sense? haha. If you need help and have any questions feel free to contact me. I am available to help. Ive been helping out with weddings and going to them yearly since i was 5. I have a HUGE family. lol. After my wedding im considering making a business out of this. I started a blog to document my planning process and give tips to brides. 🙂

Post # 14
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m in the same boat as you.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is a really good friend and wants to help but right it’s so difficult with her being 14 hours away.  My parents and my Fiance paretns are trying their best but we are 10 hours away from them.  We are having the wedding in my Fiance hometown and are attempting to plan the whole thing long distance. 

I must say it is encouraging when my Fiance asks about certain aspects of the wedding, by talking to him about it we become closer and more open by simply explaining the aspects to him and taking his ideas and incorporating them within the wedding as well.

Post # 15
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m not planning alone… but I have a blog and I follow a lot of other wedding bloggers and I post my ideas on their and get their advice.  You should just google wedding blogs, there are 100s and start you own if you want. 

For me it’s my way of getting an honest unbiased opinion from other brides/women that aren’t my mom or sister who have many of their own opinions! 

Post # 16
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am in the same boat…my fiance tries, but really isn’t into it. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and doesn’t really help much, my bridesmaids all live in different places and have big things going on. My mom helps a little bit, but not really.  I find it takes the "fun" out of it, and wish for more help. Weddingbee and other blogs have been great help and to fill in the opinion gaps!


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