Post # 1
I’m having a bit of a Debbie Downer moment, so if you’re looking for uplifting, please move right along. A bit of background: My dad died when I was four, and my mom died in 2005. I haven’t spoken to my oldest sister in about four years, and my other sister (who I adore) is going through a divorce after being married for 22 years. My fiance’s parents are both older and live hundreds of miles away. While they support our marriage plans, FMIL isn’t exactly the “OMG, let’s go dress shopping!” sort of woman. We live in Pittsburgh, and my bridespeople (there’s one guy) live in Orlando, DC, and Minneapolis.
My bridespeople are fantastic, and we’re doing everything we can to keep people involved – thank goodness for emails, text messages, Facebook groups, and discounted airfare. But this is still way harder than I thought it would be. I love reading about what other brides are doing, but part of me just wants to scream “Stop bitching about FMIL – at least she gives a rat’s ass!” or “Just be grateful you have a mom to complain about!”
Is anyone else in a similar position? Does it get easier? After mom died, I went through a number of life situations that made me think I couldn’t possibly miss her more (i.e. graduating from veterinary school, multiple inter-state moves, buying a house, getting engaged), but this whole wedding planning thing really takes the cake.
Post # 3
(((hugs))) oh RedHerring – I totally am not sharing your shoes, but I can imagine how hard it must be!
You’re totally right, a lot of us DO take for granted that the person who drives us crazy is really someone we’re fortunate to have in our lives. I think I needed that reminder today… thanks. 🙂
Post # 4
I can’t really say I know exactly what you’re going through but I’m planning my wedding alone too. My fiance and I moved across the country and haven’t made friends in our new home. At first I was glad to be able to plan in peace, without everyone giving me their two cents but now I really wish my mom and sister were here, even though we have totally different taste and wouldn’t even agree on anything. I just crave the interaction and connection.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA
I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but thought you deserved a big **HUG** over the internet!
Post # 6
Thank you, ladies. The sympathy is appreciated.
Post # 7
Hi redherring, ((HUGS!!)). While I can’t know what it’s like to miss having my parents, I miss their presence and interest at this time very much. My parents work halfway around the world and DON’T like wedding ‘nonsense’, and FH and I are long-distance. His parents are thousands of miles away, as are my best friends. I’m not having a wedding party, so yeah – I’m planning alone for a while.
In spite of all the media hype, from these boards & personal experience I’m realizing wedding planning/dreaming can be lonely. Thank goodness for WB. I hope you are taking good care of yourself and finding support here! I’m sending loving thoughts your way 🙂