(Closed) anyone else planning without mom?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am so sorry to hear that! I really do hope she gets better, and maybe you could just talk to her and see if she would be interested in helping you plan. Even though she won’t be physically there, she could be with you in spirit, and I think it might lift her spirits to know that she is still getting to help her daughter. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m sorry about your mom! That must be very hard planning your big day without her. I would say spend as much time with her as possible while she’s awake. I’m sure she wants to help you plan but since she doesn’t have the strength, I think what you’re doing is the best you can do given the situation. Just remember not to stress about the little decisions, because 50 years from now you’ll remember the quality time you spent with her, not the color of the napkins, etc…

Post # 5
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m so sorry your mother is not well. As far as planning – I did most of that on my own too since my mom doesn’t live near me, doesn’t care about some stuff, and gets ridiculously and unhelpfully stressed out about everything else. It’s not that big a deal – just spend a lot of time on weddingbee and ask a lot of questions here. Keep your planning simple. Avoid a lot of DIY since you’re really busy taking care of your mom. Hopefully your venue can take care of all the decorating, or else you have a place that doesn’t require much decorating (like an outdoor setting). Hang in there. Everything will be beautiful.

Post # 7
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom and I hope she gets better soon!

I’ve planned pretty much my whole wedding without my mom since I’m living overseas and marrying overseas…there’s a good 6,000 miles between us.  In a way she’s sad that she can’t help, but then as she said, she gets to show up and enjoy the party.

I’ve just been keeping a lot of photos of everything on Facebook for her (only her) and I’ve been keeping a wedding blog.  Where I can, I take pictures and ask for her opinion as well.

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

its hard hun. I lost my mother when I was 14 shed been gone 8 years on the 8th of june and not to mention losing my father April 2nd this year…its stressful and hard and boy do you cry a LOT! But you gotta involve her as much as you can while shes still here and make it the best ever for her. its your day and its probably hurting her that she cant do more for you.

 

hang in there sweety!!!!

Post # 9
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I lost my mom almost three months ago and I had only been engaged for three months at the time. I didnt get a chance to do any planning with her, her passing was very unexpected. I say, cherish the time you have together. I know its really hard not having her there to be a part of it, but when she is awake, talk her ear off about your wedding, it probably gives her more joy than youll ever know. I’m sure its bittersweet to plan without her being able to be a part of it, I know thats how it feels for me. Hang in there, xoxoxo.

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I lost my mom 5 years ago this November. She did at least know my fiance but we only got engaged last year. I agree with what others have said. Just take whatever time you can with her and tell her about EVERY detail of the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

shainajane i’m so sorry you’re having to go through this with your mom now…  but i’m glad you’re planning it by her side, with your online purchases, so she’s able to experience it with you.  i’ve got a different sort of situation – my mom lives in NH (where we are having our wedding) but we live in CA.  we’re doing a ton of DIY projects – a lot of sewing, too – and my mom is the craftiest McCraftypants i know!  it’s weird for me, that i am here, half-assing these projects, then mailing them to her to store before the big day!  we’ve started ordering our online purchases and shipping them to her too, and i feel like she’s my storage coordinator, not my mom!  i’ll have the week before the wedding to spend with my parents and have a couple more crafty projects up my sleeves for then…  but it’s not quite the same as if we lived in the same town, or state, and could experience this together.  <3

Post # 14
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Awww, I’m really sorry she’s sick again.  Is there anyway to hook her up to the internet in the hospital so you can have her “on hand” so to speak to go through the process with you vicariously? I know that could never replace her actually being there, but it would be better than nothing?

Post # 15
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m so sorry about your mom, that must be hard.  But I think you are handling it the right way!  That is great that you are able to sit with her and show her what you are doing online so that she is experiencing it with you.  Just stay positive, keep doing what you are doing and be there for your mom.  I hope they find out what is wrong and that she gets better soon. 

Post # 16
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

sorry to hear that, i understand its hard to do this with out your mom.. my mom live in ottawa and i live in victoria she cant get on the plane just yet being she was hit by a car and was really hurt and she has to wait.. i just hoping she’ll be able to fly when the wedding comes she said doesnt care she would drive for my drive but that like a week drive.. i would love to fly over there but we are pay for the whole wedding which doesnt leave me with much to pay for a ticket.. and people dont overly understand that it is hard to not have your mom or any of your other family to help you.

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