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i agree!! the wedding is just a formality at this point!! we already have a beautiful baby boy (almost 9 months old) and we are in the process of buying a house! I would rather not be spending money on a wedding. Ours is a very budget wedding, but it still keeps adding up, and honestly i just dont have the motivation to worry about the details anymore!
That is the name of my blog. I would rather elope. I am this close....| |....
hey me too and i'm only 2.5 weeks out! ha. trust me ladies, it doesn't get any easier!
We have a 7 month old little girl and have been living together for a while now. It feels like we're already married, now we'll just be broke and have a piece of paper. Our wedding is on a very strict budget as well. :/ I guess thinking I would stay on or under was a joke.
my brother was the same way. they were practically married before they ever had the ceremony. they had a beautiful daughter and lived together. he had a really affordable, low-key event that turned out gorgeous. it wasn't the most exquisite wedding i've ever seen, but 8 years later they're just as married and still so happy. it's just one day in your life together, so don't put too much pressure on it to be perfect by blogland standards. do enough so that you'll both be happy and have wonderful happy memories of the day, but don't kill yourself over it. there's NO reason to be in debt over one day.. wedding or not. i'm sure your wedding will be beautiful and you will have the time of your life. try to relax and enjoy this time in your life, because you'll never get it back... especially this time with your young daughter. they grow up so fast! :)
@littleliz123...omg - my sentiments exactly! Especially the family members that invite themselves. And the unrealistic budget. Everytime I start fresh and think it's under control, I am deluding myself!
I am about to go forward with the wedding (already ordered the dress!), but we are seriously debating a kitchen renovation instead. We have been in our house almost a year, already feel married, and we keep wondering if we are stupid to spend the money on a wedding.
People either say we are smart to put it into the house or they say I will regret not doing anything and not having a wedding...
@janieleigh, thank you so much! you have no idea how much I really needed to hear that. (: I am certaintly going to take your advice and chill out and just remember that its only one day. When wedding planning started, I had no idea what I was doing, how much weddings are suppose to cost, ect ect. I guess I'm trying to meet everyones standards, and not my own. Even though our wedding isn't going to be a 30k glamorous event- it's our day and everything we could have dreamed of, so I'm happy with it.
@mtnwdggrl, have you considered possibly eloping or just getting married at the courthouse and then having a reception with friends and family? That was our original plan and it would have saved money. Some people told us to just get married at the courthouse and save $, and others (like my mom) told me I would regret not having a wedding- and maybe she's right. But part of me wishes I could take it back, but too late now. Invites are out and its a month away. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
ps to all- how do you change your little profile pic from a bee to a personal photo?
yes, omg, yes!! we have a short engagement (six months) so I hit the ground running -- booked ceremony and reception venues and ordered dress -- and i wish i hadn't. i wish i wasn't locked into our banquet plans (the lost of deposit and cancellation penalty would be half of the cost of the reception, which is 3/4 of our budget) because i would totally reverse and run away to hawaii with our family if i could!
the planning seemed like a piece of cake and low-key since i booked the venues in the first two weeks and then we took about 3 weeks off from wedding planning when our lives got busy. but we just returned to the grind of planning last week, and it sucks! all the money that just seems to be pouring out of us is making us unhappy. without any imposition from our parents, we (or maybe I should say i) have ended up with a traditional wedding when neither of us really care about such things.
i can't back out due to the loss of money on the banquet, but if you can and your heart wants something simpler, do it! i absolutely wish i could.
ps - to change your profile pic, go to "view your profile" at top right of page. click on profile tab and change avatar. :)
Yikes, sounds like you're in a tough place too! I can't possibly call the wedding off now, because not only would we lose a ton of money, our families would be really dissappointed. Let's just say, I will be very happy once we're on our honeymoon and the wedding is nothing but a fond memory. (:
I certainly did!! when I was planning a huge wedding but after talking with my FI we decided a huge wedding wasn't for us it was more for everyone else I am soooo happy with our decision for a DW its still a little stressful time to time but nothing close to how stressed I was before.
YES!! I am ready to take my FI and my dress and jet to VEGAS BABY!
if only he would jump on board! blah
Think it every day... haha! But the closer we get (15 days!), the more I just suck it up and keep moving :)
With the crazy situation I've gone through recently with having to change the location and venue of our wedding in 3 months I am almost TOTALLY convined I want to do a super small intimate wedding (some could call it an elopement..or like I prefer "scheduled elopement")and then have a nice reception/dinner later on (a month or two later).
I go back and forth between hating the wedding and wanting it. I just got pressured into doing so many things I didn't want in the first place. I wish I could switch things around. I would go back and tell myself to do whatever I want. It is not too late... I haven't decided and I need make a decision pretty soon. My family stresses me out to no end, and purposely. I want a fun wedding, but not with them there... so it has been really stressful just deciding what to do! How could I have one without them knowing, and still have the people I want?
We just had a house built, and a 2 year old running around it, doing TONS of DIY, and I am enjoying every minute! I feel sorry for you girls that would rather just elope, and I'm really glad I don't feel that way!
This makes me feel sane!! thank you!! I hava just a little over a month until the wedding and wished I would had gone with what my fiance wanted in the first place to go away and get married with just our family and our best friends with us..260 people later on the guest list and invites out no turning back now... I was feeling bad for for wanting to elope now but at least I am not alone!
Hah - it was my FB status yesterday "[Dancy] should've eloped". I got like 19 responses from "No, it'll be fun" to "I could've told you that". This isn't our wedding. Its our parents. It's costing more than we wanted it to and there's people on our guest list I've never even heard of, nevermind met!!
I keep hearing my friend Hallie's voice in my head when I told her a long time ago I wanted to elope like her & her hubby. She said, "Do it! Our wedding cost us $40 bucks for the state license". I should've listened to her.
We're eloping! (for a few reasons)
1) I have a HUGE family I would be obligated to invite to a wedding
2) My FI has a tiny family (not a single aunt, uncle, or cousin) so it would be really unbalanced
3) None of my family lives anywhere near where we would want to do the wedding
4) FI has been offered a job overseas (Dubai!) but we don't have dates for the move yet
5) Planning a wedding with my mother would drive me crazy (and she would want me to have a Catholic wedding -- not happening)
I haven't really started doing much yet with my wedding because its still a year and four months aways but i'm getting some stuff ordered and its really fun. I might not think that down the road but we will see. I think it easier with brides where there parents are paying for the wedding becasue they aren't so stressed about money but brides that are paying for there own wedding it seems like they might be a little more stressed!!! I could be COMPLETLEY WRONG on that one but thats just what i've seen through some people that have to pay for there own wedding. I'm sure its stressful either way and i think it should be something fun to do, i look at it like its a bonding time for me and my mom and with some stuff my FI.:) I've been waiting for this day for a long long time so i'm going to enjoy it!! Good luck to all you ladies who are eloping i'm sure it will be wonderful!!!!!
We felt the same way that's why we decided to go to City Hall and then an awesome honeymoon. Good luck!
OMG!!! i still have almost a year and a half to go and I so wanna elope. My guy is on board and neither of our famliy's have a problem with that. I just don't know if i would regret it.
I think about eloping too! But then I think about how good I look in my dress and that helps calm me down. Luckily I'm having a small wedding (less than 80 guests) so my stess could be tons worse!
I say this every time I get off the phone with my mother. She's always saying I didn't invite enough people who were at my first communion. She even got upset I didn't invite her lawyer, whom I've never met. Combine that with all the money we're spending (we've been overbudget on everything except for transportation) and the stress of it all and I could elope! However, I think I'd regret not having a wedding and I know FI and the rest of our family would too. It's nice to have a mini daydream about when things get stressful though :)
T and I are seriously considering an elegant island wedding followed by the traditional reception back home. Yes, I'd be a 2 dress bride then! One (the traditional dress) for the wedding and then another for the reception!
If we do this I'll rock TWO dresses and have 1)the most amazing trip (familymoon) and 2)get a great reception too, and my wedding date will be the one we wanted originally (july 31)
This might work. Not what I originally planned, but might work!
Ha. Ha. Ha. I wish. If I hadn't just bought a second dress and if our Families wouldn't be angry since I know a lot of them already got plane tickets.... It sounds like a really nice option at this point, though.
hindsight is 20/20...i really hope all of this is worth it(the wedding i mean)
not eloping, but we are having a small destination wedding in Mexico with our parents, siblings, and a few close friends. There's 20 guests total including us. Aside from some of my elderly Aunties who don't like to travel and were a little snarky when they heard about our plans, everyone has been incredibly supportive. And the planning process has been surprisingly low stress. With such a small group everything has felt so manageable.
One huge factor for us in forgoing the traditional hometown wedding was our budget. For about 1/3 of the cost of a wedding in San Francisco (where we live) we're having a ceremony on the beach, reception with dinner and dancing, and 10 days at a resort in the tropics. I'm so happy we went this route!
a scheduled elopement is exactly what I decided to do.
I had to come to terms with the truth of matter that we didn't have the financial means to do what we wanted this year. I spent weeks frustrated and upset and then light switch came on. F it all and just have a few close friends and family. Those that want ot up set they werent invited OH WELL. I doubt very much one day when there are taking their last breathe if "my wedding" will be on their top 100 things I wish did list. Please.
The goal is the marriage and I don't need to have a big blow out. I WANT TO. and will in years time, we can plan for that, but for now its going to be a simple civic cermony, folllowed by a lunch/dinner. I will splurge on simple dress (less than $300) a bouqet and pay an offiicant (if my brother who is minister, can't join us). Those expenses plus lunch and thats it. We are married. Oh and ring, but again not gonna break the bank.
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Beetween our doubled guest list and budget, stressing about money, family inviting themselves whom weren't invited, last minute details, and lack of sleep... I am ready to say the hell with it, lets take the money- go on a nice vacation and get married just the two of us!
I only wish.