Post # 1
So a little back story my FI and I were together 3 years when we got engaged. In our relationship we had always alluded to never getting married I had mentioned if I did get married I wouldn’t want anything more than a wedding band. I never wear jewelry and don’t find spending thousands of dollars on a ring very practical/necessary. (not trying to insult anyone.)
Well he proposed out of the blue and strangely enough I had been having wedding urges for a few months before this without talking to him about it. Obviously he had been feeling the same! So when he proposed he didn’t have a ring and said well I don’t have a ring cause I know you didn’t want one. I agreed I didn’t. Well we have been engaged almost two years now and I am getting so tired of people hearing we are engaged and looking at my hand or asking to see my ring! Then i have to explain “i dont have an engagement ring, we are just doing wedding bands.” I almost want to buy a cheap ring just so there is something on my hand to show for proof!
Now I don’t know if is frustration or what but I am kind of regretting not asking for a really simple ring. I feel like I can’t ask or suggest now cause he will feel bad about not getting me a ring.
Anyone else out there with out a ring?? Do you regret your choice or get the looks?
Post # 3
Just tell him the truth. I for the longest time never wanted a wedding that took months to plan and all that money and everything else that goes along with it. I was sure that when I got married it’d be a quick trip to the courthouse and dinner and drinks after, but…once I got engaged I started realizing I did want all that. I wanted the fun of planning my wedding and I wanted all my family and friends there. Kind of the same concept…kind of lol =) What I’m trying to say is maybe you thought you didn’t want an engagement ring but now your realizing it’d be nice to have a little something representing your commitment to each other even before your married, and that is completely understandable. I’m sure if you talked to your FI and told him how you felt and why you may want one now he would understand. You don’t have to spend tons of money to get a beautiful ring either. If you shop around you can get a ring that fits you perfect at a good price. I do understand though how this could be a touchy subject because you don’t want to make him feel bad. Good luck!!
Post # 4
@SageMustard: I don’t think you should feel bad if you want to ask for something simple now. You just changed your mind and that’s ok! That said, when are you getting married? If it’s close and you will have a wedding band soon, maybe you will be happy with that??
Post # 5
@ljpink: the funny thing is neither of us thought we wanted to get married and once we were engaged we thought “let’s keep it low key” and while our guest list is only going to be about 85 in the end we definitely decided to go all out DJ catering etc… We had been to so many great weddings we realized we wanted a party!! So we have both changed our minds on a lot of things.
The other thing is, I think my FI was always kind of proud of me not being materialistic (not needing a ring) and I don’t want him to think this whole wedding this is changing me. But maybe it is??
@wrkbrk: We will have been Engaged for 2 years in Nov and our wedding is in March so I can probably make it to the wedding without dying lol.
I was also just curious if anyone else out there didn’t have a ring and what their experiences are/were.
Post # 6
Yeah I understand it’s a touchy subject but I do understand the looks. When Ben and I first got engaged he got me a ring in a size 7 because he thought that’s what size my finger was. Well it wasn’t so I had to get it sized down the day after we got engaged. When people were finding out we had gotten engaged the first thing they would do was grab my hand and see no ring I’d get that “where the hell is it?” look. Or the quick look at your hand to see nothing and then they would kind of avoid the subject. It got kind of frustrating while my ring was getting sized because even if I didn’t have one yet who cares. It’s not about the ring to me (even though I love it) it’s about two people loving each other enough to make a lifetime commitment! So I do kind of understand the looks.
Post # 7
My mom, aunt and grandmother do not have diamond rings. My other aunt does have a diamond and a wedding band. All of them are happily (mostly haha) married.
I’ve noticed the younger generation all get diamonds when they get engaged. There is more of a social pressure to do so nowadays. Growing up I figured I would be like my family and not find a diamond to be neccessary, however as I have gotten older (and with all these man-children running around nowadays) I have decided that I like the idea of the man putting the woman first in order to show he is both finanically and emotionally able to commit to the relationship. I’m sure there are many ways to do this, but this worked for my husband and me.
I have one friend that did not get a diamond. She originally said she didn’t want one, but then decided she did. Her husband still didn’t get her one. They are going through a divorce now, but it’s not because of the ring, it’s more because he was never able to put her first and the no diamond thing was just one example of that.
ETA: I realize you said your situation is different because you originally didn’t want a ring. I don’t mean that you are going to end up like my friend, just telling a story! 🙂
Post # 8
@SageMustard: You can always get a cheaper ring to wear. Macys has some swarovski crystal rings for pretty cheap and very shiny! Just a though. You could always go for morganite or another gem!
Post # 9
I currently don’t have my e-ring because its being made. We’ve been engaged almost a month and I’m so anxious to get the ring. I know how you feel about other people wanting to see your ring. All I get every Monday is “no ring yet?” But don’t feel you have to get a ring just because of other people. Or maybe you could get an eternity style band that would sit flush with your wedding ring when you get married?
Post # 10
I am ring-less and I love it!
i wasn’t proposed to either, it was a decision we came to as equals, and wWeill be getting matching wedding bands that cost exactly the same amount of money.
i say be proud and tell people that you don’t need a stone to prove your commitment to each other. Also, think of the money you save and catout towards something you will both enjoy.
i do like the man-engagement ring trend though, I think it’s cute that men get to wear something as well.
Post # 11
@plzhalp: Don’t worry I didn’t think you were saying anything mean! I get your story and where you are coming from. 🙂
@Casimir23: yes, the money saving is always a bonus! We are also planning on having bands that are the same and cost the same! I’m glad there is someone out there who is ring less by choice! I was starting to feel like the only one!
Sort of bot related but I also kind of got my feelings hurt by another post out there with the poll to vote wether you consider an engaged couple without a ring a legit engagement…some of the comments made me wonder if people think that way about my relationship. Then I realized I shouldn’t care and people who know and love us are not going to judge us like that.
Thanks for the feedback and would love to hear from more e-ringless ladies!
Post # 12
I don’t have an engagement ring!
I want a wider rose gold wedding band and that’s it. Maaaybe a thin diamond or gemstone band for an anniversary later on.
Post # 13
@SageMustard: what a ridiculous poll!
Maybe we should make a poll asking if couples in which the woman has an engagement ring but the man doesn’t are equal! I’m only joking, but I do get frustrated when I read about how much some women obsess over their stoopid engagement rings!
Post # 14
Wow that’s too bad. If it makes you feel better we aren’t all like that I made a poll for engagement ring styles a while back that included no ring as an option and you can vote there! It’s at the bottom of this page in related posts. I made one for wedding bands too but it wasn’t as popular lol. Dont cave just because of what everyone else thinks but if you do want a ring there are some lovely ones on etsy for 500 or less and there was a ring post a while back with under 300 options and they were lovely. 🙂
Post # 15
I am kind of regretting not asking for a really simple ring. I feel like I can’t ask or suggest now cause he will feel bad about not getting me a ring.
OMG! Definitely bring this up with him. It’s OK to change your mind! I agree with PPs that you can find gorgeous rings for not a lot of money. Have fun shopping and congrats on your engagement!
Post # 16
@Casimir23: That’s awesome!