Post # 1
Today was one of those days. My best friend came over and, as we usually do, we discuss everything in detail. We talked about my plan to propose to my boyfriend later this month…and after some exhaustive back-and-forth, he firmly told me that he believes that I shouldn’t propose. Not because of any outdated views, but because he thinks that by proposing, I would be helping my boyfriend procrastinate more and more later on in our lives (i.e., if he’s proposed to, he’ll just wind up procrastinating on helping with wedding plans, procrastinating on having kids, etc.).
So the whole conversation came down to: if boyfriend can’t poo, he needs to get off the pot. And I shouldn’t help him do that. I think my friend might be right.
But after he went home, I decided I’d try to have a night not thinking about it. Boyfriend and I went out to one of our usual restaurants. One of the waitresses was loudly talking to another couple dining – the only other couple dining – about how she was going to wear her hair to somebody’s wedding, then a bunch of other wedding details. For all I know, maybe it was her wedding.
But since that was the only other conversation or sound in the room, for the most part, it was all I had to focus on.
Man, what a night.
Post # 3
Totally been there. Just last week I was in a funk over waiting and being antsy about the whole thing, so I told myself I could go shopping downtown after work for a little retail therapy. Which was great, until I walked by a couple taking their engagement pictures.
And I didn’t even find anything worth buying. Worst Friday ever.
Post # 4
Please don’t propose! I was in the same spot you were. I was going to propose. I was fed up waiting. Then the women around me asked me if I really wanted to tell my daughter that I proposed to her father? I thought about it long and hard. Men propose when they are really ready. I didn’t want to force him into something he wasn’t ready for. After this talk with the women, 4 long months of waiting went by. When he finally popped the question, it was an amazing proposal and I knew he made the decision to marry me on his own. I know how tough it is waiting and hearing other people’s wedding stories. I skipped a friends wedding because I couldn’t handle it (Horrible I know). But it will happen when the time is right and it will be so special.
Post # 5
I proposed to my boyfriend, and now we are engaged. We’re getting married on March 23rd and he’s been very involved in the wedding plans. I do the majority of the wedding planning myself because I like it that way, but he gives me his opinion when I ask for it and will research whatever task I ask him to help me with. We talk about having kids all the time. What makes you think that just because he hasn’t proposed yet that he can’t commit to you? Have you had a serious discussion about it yet? For my FH the reason he hadn’t proposed was because outside forces kept delaying the proposal. He had a ring, but didn’t like it, and had been working on a new song as part of the proposal but due to us trying to finish putting our house together we hadn’t had a lot of free time for him to work on it. So the proposal kept gettind delayed further and further. I got tired of waiting. So I bought him an engagement gift and proposed to him instead. He said yes so fast he interrupted my speech.
It sounds to me like you question your guy’s commitment to your relationship and future. Getting married is about building a life and future together. Do you want to be with someone for 50 years if you have to convince them to commit to you? My sister’s relationship is like that. It’s awful in my opinion. Now I’m not saying that your relationship is like that because I don’t know your history. Only you do. I think you need to figure out why he hasn’t proposed yet. Is it because the timing isn’t right? Or because he’s just not ready and won’t be ready because of “X” reason? Is there something else he has to do first? Some guys need to get settled into their careers or buy a house before they’ll think of becoming engaged no matter how great their girl is. For my FH moving to the same city, us getting the house, and him getting his new job was the change he needed for him to consider this next step in our relationship. And he would have proposed if life had worked out nicely, but it didn’t. So I proposed instead. Because I love him and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him no matter if the timing was right.