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Awww bluegreenjean I'm sorry to hear that. You should feel beautiful and comfortable in your dress! I can't say that I hate mine yet since I haven't tried it on yet and it only exists as the perfect dress in my head! haha
Hmmmm....so your dress is custom? Can you work with the seamstress to make any modifications to make you like it more?
So, my seamstress is pretty bossy (she's the one who told me not to raise my arms when I mentioned that my nipple was close to popping out when I reached up. That problem was resolved with some optional small straps on her part and push-ups on my part) and I don't feel comfortable bringing it up with her. I'm pretty sure she would just say that it's supposed to fit that way, and that will be the end of it.
Plus the dress is paid for and hanging up in the closet, which doesn't help matters. I thought that maybe if I just wore it around the house and got used to it, it would grow on me. I finally got around to putting it on tonight -- I brought it home almost two months ago. I'm just not crazy about it. Normally I don't really care about how I look, I just throw myself into what's going on and have a great time. But I don't think I'll be able to do that in this dress. It's just so uncomfortable... I feel like I'm suffocating -- and it doesn't even make my (small) waist look small. It's very frustrating!
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I can't say my dress was super comfortable. I felt like I couldn't move in it and probably wasn't so graceful for the first few hours. However, after awhile all of my worries eventually faded that day and I didn't worry about it. I danced until almost 2 am with our wedding party. It wasn't until my husband peeled me out of it that I realized my ribs were killing me!
If it is just a little uncomfortable, don't worry too much, but if it is super uncomfortable a cocktail dress might be the way to go.
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have you tried getting different undergarments to wear with it? maybe you will feel more comfortable with a bodysuit, spanx or something else that will give you a little more 'slip' to your dress? i still need to find something to go with my dress, as it needs a little something (even though i'm small too).
after i got my dress i left it at my parent's house so i didn't have to think about it every day!
Hmmm...I know this might seem like a waste after spending money already on a custom dress, but can you take it to anothr, more pleasant, seamstress? It's really a shame that you hate it so much, and I just feel like you deserve better. Since you already have the dress, even just getting an opinion on what could be done from someone else might be worth it. It might just be a couple simple things.
I'm so sorry, I can relate. I actually paid way too much money for mine. It was a pretty dress and it was comfortable, but I just didn't love it. It just didn't feel like me and wasn't what I had imagined myself in. I realize now I listened too much to what others said instead of going with my gut.
So, go with your gut. If your seamstress isn't listening, make her. If that doesn't work, find another one. it sucks, especially in this economy, but get yourself a dress you do love. You'll always remember your unhappy feelings when you look at yourself in that dress.
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So.. could you go to a running of the brides event near by or find something on eBay or a brides against breast cancer event and get a dress you actually like for cheap? You've got nothing to lose....expect for $250 or so... and that... might actually be worth it. It would be even less really if you factor in the money you would spend on another dress for the reception. I hope the Dress-Gods smile on you! :)
I'm so sorry to hear that you hate your dress! :( It sounds like your seamstress made the process kind of difficult for you, which must have been really hard. I was wondering the same thing as fizicsGirl, can you take the dress to another seamstress to have her make some alterations/changes?
I'm not really crazy about mine either. I bought it about a year ago and I had my first fitting yesterday. There were no tears of joy to be reunited with my dress. I was just sort of blah. I'm not really sure if it's because I didn't think enough before buying it or if I was letting other people influence me. I am just trying to change my attitude about it and remember that it is just a dress and the most important thing is marrying my fiance.
I wouldn't spend money on another dress because that might make you feel worse. I would try a new seamstress who can make the dress more comfortable and make you feel better about the way that you look. I hope you enjoy your dress a little more and have a great wedding!
I think you should try to find a different better seamstress if at all possible. If you love the style, but the fit is just off a good seamstress should be able to help you with that. Other than buying a completely new dress... I don't really have any other advice. Good Luck!
Yeah, I think taking the dress to another seamstress is a really good suggestion. Good luck!
I agree with everyone above who mentioned taking it to another seamstress to look over and see if they could help you feel more comfortable. It's hard when your seamstress causes more "stress" than she "seams"....sorry corny joke :)
While I love my dress......I really hate the bustle, to the degree I wouldn't want any photos of the back of my dress after it's bustled. My seamstress felt it was the more solid option given the weight of the beaded lace and the length of the train....but it's still not the seamless look I wanted (I'd prefer something more like Miss Powder Puff's recent post). So I'm going to have someone else look at it to make sure the one I dream of really isn't a solid option.
I agree with the other posters -- if money isn't a huge issue, take it to someone else. It sounds like yours isn't just that you don't like it, but that it literally fits your body poorly too.
I'm not crazy about my dress at all either and at times I definitely sorta hate it. I feel like I let other people influence me too much instead of going with my own gut. :( But eh, what can ya do? I sort of have gotten over it, bc in my mind it's just a dress that I'm wearing for one day. However, even if you're not crazy about yours, I think the most important part is that you feel so uncomfortable in it that you can't focus on a conversation! I really hope you can get this worked out and good luck!
Yeah... maybe I'll just get used to the damn thing, at least get used to it to keep it on for pictures and the ceremony. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten a strapless dress -- mine has a built-in corset and it makes it hard to breathe. And wearing super tight clothes makes me feel really fat. I wish I'd known how uncomfortalble a strapless dress is, but I've never had one before. And when you try on wedding dresses they're never in your size so it gets hard to tell how comfortable they will be when they fit properly -- if this one indeed does.
I think deep down I'm extremely uncomfortable with being the bride at my wedding. I have a veil too and I hate myself in that as well -- I feel like I'm dressed up for Halloween (I'm sure it will only be worse the day of the wedding when my hair and makeup is done, too. Grrr -- why didn't I think of this before??). If only I could attend my own wedding without being the center of attention. I don't want to be scrutinized. I don't even really want to be complimented -- 'oh, how beautiful you look' -- because I assume that that means that I'm shallow and all I care about is how I look, like I had a wedding to wear a fancy dress and have people oooh and ahh over me and that makes me feel stupid and self-conscious. Sorry..... I'm ranting....
I think I will get a simple dress from JCrew to wear for the reception (and take down my hair and wash my face, if need be!)-- it may help me feel less on stage and more like myself.
Thanks for the feedback!
Just remember- your seamstress works for YOU- not the other way around. You hired her to create a dress you would like. Not whatever she wanted. Also Could you post pics?
Pictures, sure! The first is before the train is completely finished, but you get the idea. The second has the optional straps (I'll tuck them in, but they're there just in case.).
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I'm mostly okay with the way it looks, especially the back. The front is a wee bit boring -- it's just satin with a chiffon, slightly ruched bodice (it's hard to see in that second picture, I think I'll add another) I'm thinking of adding a blue sash or a brooch or something...
Maybe if I try to lose a couple of pounds it will be more comfy??
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I think it is very pretty!! I do like it better as a strapless dress than with straps though - Maybe you could find a broach or something to jazz up the front a bit if you feel it is too plain?
I really like the idea of a broach on that! I think the dress is beautiful, but you should definately talk to another seamstress. It may just need some minor adjustments to make it more comfortable.
And if it makes you that uncomfortable, don't do anything way different with your hair and makeup. Maybe just a little foundation to even out skintone for pictures, mascara, and lip gloss. Just do simple stuff.
I feel you on the scrutiny though...I really don't want to be center stage either, but I guess it kind of comes with the territory.
I have worn multiple strapless dresses and they should not be that uncomfortable... or really uncomfortable at all. I have never worn one with a built in corset so I am assuming that is what is making you uncomfortable. Is it possible to have it removed and then get a seperate more comfortable corset to wear under you dress?
Based on what you wrote above I would highly suggest you ditch the veil and buy a flower, tiara, barett, or something else that is simpeler to wear in your hair. If you feel like halloween because its over the top then simplify! You should be excited about how you look on your wedding day not embarassed!!!
I like the idea of a sash or broach! I think dressing up the front a little would look great. It is simple but beautiful. Maybe a little bolero or shaw would make you feel more comfortable also.. especially for the reception.
I think your dress is very pretty - I do like it a bit better as a strapless dress. I think you should take it to a better seamstress and see what she can do to make it more comfortable for you.
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I think the dress looks great. It actually looks better without the straps and makes it look more elegant.
I think if you are uncomfortable being the "bride" you will be uncomfortable in anything you wear, but I think your dress is very elegant! Maybe a gusset would give you a little more room to breathe?
I think it's very pretty! Your crazy to not like it!!
With that... if you think it's boring bling it up with awesome jewelry (bracelet, chandelier earrings, necklace) a gorgeous sparkly headband would be fabulous even if you want to wear a veil with it!! And of course you can't forget to have some fun with your shoes....
I hope that in the end you love it <3
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It's just so uncomfortable that I feel miserable in it and can't wait to take it off. And then because I'm so uncomfortable I hate the way I look in it, and I can hardly carry a conversation in it because I'm thinking about how uncomfortable it is. The ironic thing is I thought that if I got a custom made dress, it would be more comfortable...
I'll probably just get a simple cocktail dress for the reception so I can enjoy part of the day.
Anyone else?