(Closed) Anyone else starting marriage “for poorer”?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

While we aren’t quite living paycheck to paycheck it is pretty close now. I was in a car accident and totaled my car (I’m fine though!) so we had to buy me a new car since I commute to work. Well with the new car payment and the insurance increase that pretty much zapped what we had been putting in our savings account before the accident. We wanted to buy a house soon but it doesn’t look good, especially where we live because houses are still expensive.

So I know how you feel! Just keep reminding yourselves that you aren’t marrying each other for how much money you have but because you love each other! It will get better!

Post # 4
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We live pay check to pay check every single time. We always just barely scrap by with enough left over to do laundry and get groceries if we are lucky. I usually end up with about $5 in between pay checks even with us both working. I can totally relate!

Post # 5
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Oh yes… when we got married, we were actually hugely in debt!! It was very very stressful.  Bee’s job as a dogwalker was a godsend!

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh yeah! I’ve been unemployed since February and my fiance’s job is kind of rocky right now. We are living paycheck to paycheck, we’re in the process of refinance his mortgage to get a lower payment, and like you, our parents are more or less paying for the wedding. We’re figuring on one more year of things being tight, because my car will be paid off in a year. Refinancing the mortgage will help a lot. Since I haven’t found work, I’m going back to school full time. It sucks but we know we are doing everything we can. 

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh yes I can totally relate.  We live paycheck to paycheck also but that doesn’t even cover it.  It is really tough and very frustrating.  Especially we really haven’t bought a lot of things we don’ t need and we own one credit card with 1500.00 limit and it is maxed and mostly with medical bill stuff and once it is paid off will be cut up and never used again.  Our bills are mostly all medical and with no health insurance and cancer last fall I am sure you can guess that equals trouble.  We fight with even trying to put money together to get me to a doctor just to get me medication so I really understand the stress of it all.

  We are totally in it for the richer or poorer and atleast I know that for sure going into it:)  I just hope we can get out of it quickly as it does cause a lot of stress in a relationship.  But remember what is important and you can’ t take it with you when you go.  You got to work together or you won’t have anything.  We love Dave Ramsey and we don’t buy anything we can’t pay for now.

  I am glad your parents are helping your day to be special. That is really awesome.  We have had to cancel all our wedding plans and just the two of us say I do, but atleast we know we are in it together no matter what:)

   I hope all gets better soon and just stick together:)  We work hard at that and pray a lot!!!!!

Post # 8
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Us too.  I make enough to support myself comfortably enough but my paycheck covers all the household expenses and my bills.  Pretty much everything except for my fiance’s bills and his gas.  All the money he makes goes towards his debt or back into rodeoing.  We have the budget down pat now but what’s stressing me out is that we’re looking to add another few once we get married.  

Right now my car insurance is still on my dad’s policy and both of our cell phones are on family plans.  I don’t really feel right about our parents paying any bills once we’re married so I want to take those on.  The tricky part is I’m not sure where the money’s going to come from.  I put away enough in savings out of every check to probably cover them but I REALLY don’t want to stop savings.  Things are too uncertain for that.  Oh, and FI doesn’t have health insurance outside of the PRCA (rodeo).  That has to change once we’re married too.

We’re fortunate that my parents wanted to pay for the wedding and that his are chipping in, otherwise we would have had to elope or it would have been a long time coming!

CountryCowgirl has a good point.  At least we know we can hack it as a couple during the hard times!  Things will be cake when he takes on a teaching or coaching position!  (Now there’s a sign of how little we get by on, a teacher’s salary will be a vast improvement!  🙂  Actually it’s not that bad, Wyoming pays it’s teachers pretty well.)

Post # 9
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

FI lives paycheck to paycheck with a roommate – he wouldn’t be able to afford rent on his own at all. I am unemployed and living with my parents. I absolutely need to get a job before May (when we get married) or else we won’t make it. I just graduated from college and thought I’d have a job by now… I just gotta keep looking.

Post # 10
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh we are totally paycheque to paycheque!

I am a full-time PhD student and he works but it is really hard with a single-income – mortgage and bills (and sometimes a life) Luckily I am teaching part-time in the fall so that should help a bit!

But don’t let it stress you out – I know it is easier said than done but you too will get through this together and the situation could always be worse!

Good luck and Congrats in 10 days!

Post # 11
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009 - Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel

We are very much there! Mr. Cloud was out of a job for about six months right after we got engaged, and we are still catching up from that. I had a lot of trouble getting over the stigma of the unemployment, but really its not all that uncommon anymore! I do think that time when it was really really hard when month five hit and we were too poor to even hit mcdonalds, was one of the best times in our relationships. I know now getting married that we will be able to get through anything!

Post # 12
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with Miss Cloud-getting through this shows me we can get through anything. We’ve made a point of not letting it affect our relationship.

Post # 13
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We are in the same situation. After having surgery in April and losing my job, I am still unemployed and we are paying for some of the wedding out of our pockets…so it’s been tough. 

Post # 14
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I’ve been unemployed since December (partially b/c I was in England, and partially b/c of the economy) and Mr.D isn’t allowed to work in the US till several months after we’re married.  We live with my parents and have no hope of moving into a place of our own right after the wedding.  FML. 🙁

Post # 15
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Thank goodness for this post!

I have saved for our wedding since I started working about 10 years ago, and my parents are helping out, our wedding is just about paid for.  We have talked about using some of our  tax returns next year to finish paying for it.

FH is in debt, and had no control of his money. He has a lot of CC debt, I don’t have much.  He has no savings, and I have some (on top of the wedding money, but not much).  FH recently went from being hourly with OT to paid for 40 hours a week straight, which is barely enough to cover his share of the bills let alone things like his insurance, gas, etc.  I sometimes feel like we’re drowning.

We bought our house 2 years ago, and we didn’t have a huge down payment, so we have to pay PMI.  Thank goodness that we don’t have an ARM.  Some people think we’re lucky, but I’m always afraid we could start not being able to afford it and lose the house, causing a lifetime of chaos…in addition, I feel like we will NEVER be able to afford having kids.

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