Post # 1
To be called ‘too skinny’? One of my full-figured friends is always saying how I’m too skinny, ‘Jack Skellington’, if I lose any weight I’ll disappear, etc… I’m not even that small! I’m 5’3″ and 113 lbs; my BMI is smack in the middle of healthy. She also says how my breasts are too small, and makes remarks insinuating that I’m ‘less of a woman’ then her because my chest isn’t a D cup! I have self esteem issues without having to hear comments like that, and then I get upset- if it’s rude and hurtful to call someone too fat, isn’t it rude to say someone’s too skinny?!
The worst part is she knows it makes me upset, and still does it. I try to just say things like “I’m happy with how I am,” or “There’s upsides to being a B cup” and blow it off, but she’s kind of relentless. She doesn’t give up til she gets a rise out of me.
This is mostly a vent, but she really is starting to get to me. I feel fine with how my body is most of the time, I always thought I was healthy on the smaller side, and now I look at myself and think “Do I look ‘lanky’ or ‘skinny’?” I absolutely hate those words…
Post # 3
It’s not just you. That is totally, totally rude.
Post # 4
What a toxic friend!! You shouldn’t let her get you. I really don’t know what else to say, I’m just appalled at her behavior!
Post # 5
I don’t think that is super skinny at all. It’s a good healthy weight. I’m exactly that weight and height…and it’s not stick skinny at all. I got plenty of love handles! hahaha
She’s being a bully in my opinion. =(
Post # 6
Thank you bees, I just wanted to make sure I’m not crazy… my sister and mom are also full-figures, and if I ever vent to them they shut me up quick with a “I wish I was too skinny!” So I don’t talk about it to them, and my hubby agrees with me, but I thought that might be just because he doesn’t like this particular friend :/
Post # 7
@SnowPeony: it’s not you… it’s them.. they wish they were you’re size.. I mean she’s probably a good friend, but the fact that you probably look great in a wedding dres without really having to work out (in their eyes), that you’re a glowing bride probably doesnt help her ego.. and especially she’s full figured… well. ‘nough said.
Post # 8
@The Average Bride: Lol thank you! I’m a pear shape so I have plenty of love handles too! Hubby likes em though, and I eat like a pig so they’re not going anywhere 🙂
Post # 9
She is saying it to upset you because she is angry at you for not being her wait. It makes her feel better to tear you down.
What a cow.
Post # 10
I had a friend who said the exact same things to me (I’m about your size), and she is not my friend anymore. She was so rude. It is very hurtful to me when people say I am a “stick,” especially since I’m already self-conscious of my lack of curves. I feel your pain, and I suggest distancing yourself from this “friend.”
Post # 11
Those statements are rude indeed! This person is not being a friend at all, purposely trying to upset you. Being playful with a friend is one thing, but purposely hurting your feelings is another, and there is a distinct line she is repeatedly crossing with her statements and lack of respect for you. Her behavior is not only rude, it is manipulative. Don’t let her do that to you. If she can’t adhere to your request to knock it off, she doesn’t deserve your company, ever.
Post # 12
This happens to me as well. It sucks. I’m not sure if some people think they are “complimenting” you by telling you that you’re too skinny.
Commenting on a friends weight (unless they’ve confided in you about trying to lose/gain and are achieving their goals or need advice) is just silly. No one is friends with their friends because of their weight… so why even mention it? Personal qualities don’t typically change with weight and therefore shouldn’t be addressed.
She is being silly and needs to know that. Silly girl.
Post # 13
I’m going to be devil’s advocate bee for a moment. I’m am from the land of the larger lady and all of my best girlfriends/my sister…and therefore my bridal party…all tiny people. I’ve called them every stick thing in the book, because there’s nothing wrong with their bodies.
Done being devil’s advocate*Ditch her. because when I say I call them everything about being skinny, they give it back. This is our humor, and this is our way. I’m friends with a girl who can only be described as straight from the CK waif era, and when we tried joking with her this way, she meekly said it hurt her feelings and we laid off.
You can’t say in the same post she’s a friend and just trying to get a rise out of you, because why would a friend do that?
Post # 14
She doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me. She sounds like a jealous bitch. There’s no reason to ever tell something they’re too ______________ unless you are genuinely worried about their health/happiness.
Post # 15
It sounds like she’s jealous. I’m sorry she’s being so hurtful to you.
Post # 16
Have you talked to her about it outside of when it’s happening? Like, “I know you like to tease me about being skinny, but I wanted to let you know that it’s very hurtful to me. I know it may be infuriating/appear that I can eat whatever I want and not gain a lot of weight, but that was no more my choice than [however your eat affects you] was your choice, and it really hurts me when you tease.” and then follow up with trying to get to the root cause – she sounds SUPER insecure to me. “Do you feel insecure about your own body when you’re with me? I love you for who you are, not for how you look, and I guess I’d like that same respect to be given back to me. I am a lot more than just my weight, and in the future I’d appreciate if you focused more on who I am and less on how I look.”