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I think the rule exists because the gifts are given to congratulate you on your marriage not just for the occasion of your wedding? I don't know. But in your case, getting a gift a year after would be frustrating because you can't use a honeymoon registry after you're back from the honeymoon!
I too think the year thing is stupid. Really, I think it just makes it easier for people to stiff you. Who's going to be thinking about keeping tabs on stuff like that a YEAR later? If you can't afford to give anything at the time of the wedding, send a nice card and call it a day. Don't make us both pretend you're going to send something along in another 10 months.
No I don't think it's OK. I personally think it's silly. I can see maybe up to a month after the wedding if you couldn't make the wedding. But if you are attending a wedding I think it's silly to wait until later to send a gift. I'd either bring it to the wedding or if the Bride and Groom are traveling I'd send it before or right after the wedding. I agree it's a weird silly rule. But I guess some people stick by it. weird.
Yeah I went out with some friends this weekend and my friend said "Oh I really need to get gifts for [the couples of three weddings we went to last summer] before this next round of weddings starts" and in my head I was like dude, seriously? You haven't gotten them anything yet? I didn't say anything to him except "Uh, yeah, You should maybe get on that."
I agree that it's stupid. If you can't buy a gift, just bring a card to the reception!
I've actually read up on the origins of this rule - it is actually QUITE outmoded. 100 years ago, couples would go on honeymoons that took several months or even longer to complete (travel by boat to other continents, etc) so back THEN guests had up to a year because the couple was likely still away. Even then it was better form to gifts to the couple earlier rather than later, hence the other outmoded tradition of "gifts received" cards, but I digress. All modern etiquette books agree with you that in this day and age there is really no excuse for up to a year - the Emily Post Foundation has updated this in all their literature. Hope this makes you feel better!
It's been seven months since our wedding, and we still haven't received gifts from guests who used the "We have a year!" rule. I'm pretty sure we'll never see anything from them, which is fine ... whatever. It's just weird that they would claim they have so long.
I actually looked this up because I had never heard of it before, and according to Emily Post, she said three months after the wedding, which seems a LOT more reasonable to me.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the rule. Any gift you give is in celebration of the marriage, not the wedding itself. In this day and age I would be shocked if anyone gave me a gift that long out, but I would still be happy to receive it.
I guess I'm a horrible person then because I once waited almost 5 months to give a gift to dear friends of mine. My best friends wedding was the week before theirs and I was broke from being MOH in a destination wedding, not only could I not afford to go to their wedding (which they totally understood as it was also far away for me) I couldn't afford to give them a gift at the time...and then Christmas was right after and I was broke from that...and then, finally, I could afford to give them something nice! So I sent them a gift and they loved it because it gave them a chance to reflect back on their wedding (or so they said!).
I did feel really guilty though :)
I was just looking at etiquette stuff via the emily post site, and her granddaughters or great granddaughters in law or whoever the heck they are say this is no way no how acceptable etiquette any more and it should be done before or at the wedding. For what it's worth.
I don't understand what the big deal is- why the freakout over this? If people want to pretend they're going to buy a gift up to a year after the wedding, whatever. I don't care. I didn't get married for the gifts.
Why not just close your honeymoon registry out when you use the money? They can't add to it if it doesn't exist...
I'm not bothered by the rule. Why complain about WHEN someone gifts you something? Silly.
I have never heard of anyone getting a gift as late as 6 months after the wedding, much less a year.
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I know my friends are under the impression that you have one year after the wedding to give a gift but frankly, where did this stupid rule come from and why do people think it's OK? If you don't want to give a gift or can't afford it in addtion to costs incurred coming to the wedding then just bring a card or whatever - that's fine, I get it. I'd prefer that scenario to getting a gift a year later, especially since we're doing a honeymoon registry and don't plan on waiting a year to actually go on our honeymoon. It's not being gift-grabby, it's common sense. You don't wait a year after someone's birthday, or after Christmas, or after someone has a kid to give a gift, so why is it OK with weddings? I'm not about to say something about it but it frustrates me.
I always give a gift off the registry BEFORE the wedding because it would annoy me to have people bring boxed gifts to my wedding and have to deal with carting all that stuff home in addition to the eight million other things I'll have with me. But I know some people will do it anyway and we have a plan for how to get stuff home. I don't know. I just feel sometimes like why do I even bother with courtesy and forethought for other people when I know they won't for me. It's aggravating.
Argh.