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Oh. My. God.
I almost wish I hadn't! Haha, I mean, I knew some of the things, but sometimes my jaw dropped a little. I'm terrified to have kids.
I'm glad I read it though. It gives me plenty of time to come to peace with how embarrassing certain aspects of pregnancy will be.
Some people have said it's scary, but I don't think anything about pregnancy/labor was particularly scary. I think if you have a sense of humor about yourself, you can handle the thread and your own pregnancy just fine :)
Maybe some of the posters in this thread can enlighten me about something though. I've been wondering why people are so scared! I wasn't scared before pregnancy at all- I wanted to experience all of it, and now that I have, I can't wait to do it again.
I'm somewhat terrified to read any of the new baby posts coming up. I am in no mind to have kids right now so that stuff just freaks me out because I don't really want the thing that comes at the end of pregnancy.
@MissAsB - Haha...yeah wanting the baby at the end is kind of important. At lease I know I'm good with that part.
Um, it's kind of a terrifying post. Not all of it is bad, of course, but some of it is very, very scary!!
I just feel like I'm too young and I'm never around kids so I don't get the appeal of them at all yet.
I think a lot of people have commented that the scariest parts of that thread are the parts about birth, so maybe that's what freaks everyone out? The rest of the stuff in that thread (excess discharge, memory changes, vivid dreams, etc...) don't really seem that scary to me...
FWIW, as a pregnant lady, the more I learn about birth, the less scary it becomes to me. A lot of what is scary is the fear of the "unknown." You don't how long labor will last, how much pain you will be in, whether an emergency will come up, etc... The more I read and research about birth, though, the less I am scared of it and the more I am excited for it!
@amandopolis - I think a big part of what scares me is that there's just not a huge amount of excitement there for me when I think about having kids. Do I get that *squee* feeling over babies/kids sometimes? Of course. And there are moments when I look forward to certain aspects of pregnancy/being a mom. But 95% of the time I'm still in the selfish stage: I like my life, my relationship, etc, change is bad!
I know I won't always feel that way. I used to not want kids at all, and something did switch. So I think for me, it's a gradual change. I just know I'm not ready yet, and I'm not at a place in my life where I would want a child.
Also, I'm very fine boned and small (especially down there) and have an old tailbone injury (I broke it when I was 11) that I still have pain from. So birth scares the sh*t out of me.
To me, everything pregnancy-related is terrifying (from the feeling of having something growing inside me --SHUDDER-- to the presumably excruciating pain of birth, and everything in between, and everything after too because I'm not ready to have kids yet at all), so of course I read the whole thread, and the childbirth thread, and if other threads show up about such 'joys' I'll probably read it too. Guess I'm a masochist or something, because reading all that is only making me even more scared and making me want to get my tubes tied or something... and yet I can't stop reading, lol.
I want to know everything I can! People being really honest about it is something I love, even if I'm 3-4 years away from it myself!
I don't know whether I'm a good person to talk about it, as I had a pretty easy pregnancy and birth, but honestly... it wasn't that bad. Pregnancy is not a disease.
We're so disengaged from our bodies in our culture for anything but sex and eating that I think we forget that physically, we're really just mammals. Our bodies do 'gross' stuff. We grow our offspring inside us, push them out covered in blood, and then our breasts produce food for them, that they literally suck out of us. It's NORMAL.
Things like having cancer, that's not the function of a normal healthy body, and chances are a good portion of us will have to go through that, either personally or as a caretaker at some point in our lives. For the last trimester of my pregnancy, I lived with my MIL who was going through chemo. She definitely suffered a LOT more than I did. Why be scared of pregnancy?
Just my 2 cents, and I know that there can be complications with pregnancy and birth that are harmful, traumatic, or fatal. No disrespect meant to those who have suffered that.
@ azula -- I dunno, I found the sensation of something growing inside me really cool. :)
@December -- Really?? Just the idea of it makes my skin crawl. And I have friends who are pregnant and are all about "oooh, come, feel the baby kicking!" and stuff like that, and it just... I dunno, it freaks me out. Which I guess is a clear sign that I am a loooooong way from being ready to have kids.
I do think its a mental switch - before we decided we were ready to start trying and I was very much in my "selfish" stage of life, I would look at pregnant women in wonder thinking how freaked out I would be if I were them - specifically how I felt like I would be walking around every day terrified of labor. I had no interest in the sleepless nights, or crying baby, or anything. One of my best friends had a baby and I called her and the baby was crying and I asked her "so do you like it?" and she said "i LOVE it". I totally didn't get it. I thought she was a bit nuts. I had no desire at all to deal with all of that, although I had a vague notion that I would want to have kids one day.
And then "one day" shows up, you decide you are ready, and none of that other crap is really on your mind because you are in awe that you are actually pregnant and just so excited to be a part of this miracle of creating a life!
But yeah, before that, that thread would have creeped me out. For sure. I wouldn't have read it.
@December - you are so right. I have watched my mother go through the horrific process of intense chemo (Stem cell transplant) and I know pregnancy and labor is nothing compared to the misery she lived .....
I think it is very interesting and informative. I'm the kind of person who wants to know exactly what to expect. It's not like buying a sweater, it's having a baby. So all the more info I know about it, will make me better when I do decide to have children. (2 years away...)
Yes I was too scared!! It's not that I don't care what pregnant Bee's are going through, I'm just too squeamish!!
I like being informed and I don't plan on having kids for several years yet, so I read away! Some of it was pretty shocking, but a lot of it I already knew. My SIL is pregnant right now, she's due next week!!!! So we talked about a lot of this stuff already!
Anyone remember this DQ commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVNeULfDfOM
Yeah... if only, LOL!!
I guess it's hard for me to identify because I never had a point in my life when I didn't want children... I've always been really excited about reaching this stage in my life. I feel such a sense of contentment, although I know that if you're not ready for kids, getting peed on at 3 a.m. might not make you as deliriously happy as it makes me.
It just makes me sad that people are afraid of pregnancy and childbirth because it was such an amazing experience for me. There's this feeling after you deliver of "OH MY GOSH I DID IT!!!!" that is just incomparable. In fact I think I might have yelled that after my last push. And having a baby is so rewarding every day. I just hope that no one would be discouraged from having children because they are afraid of the pain or the grossness (you forget the pain immediately, btw, and the grossness just becomes kind of hilarious...)
Haha--I honestly think it's a favorite pastime of previously pregnant ladies to scare the poop out of those not there yet. Pregnancy does WEIRD stuff to your body, and it's (mostly) funny to look back and laugh at the freakshow that was my pregnancy.
It's worth it, though. I promise!
P.S. Sorry for the watermark--it's automatic on all my uploads. This was a snapshot my hubby took.
As long as I get a baby at the end of it, I can deal with any range of disgusting and embarassing conditions, sickness and pain. Sometimes you have to pay the price of entry! :)
I've for sure been on both sides of this one! Up until a year or two ago, I had my fingers in my ears shouting "La, la la la la. I can't HEAR you!!!" about babies. No interest, only morbid fascination with the medical aspects... After all, I had to learn how to deliver them!
But now that I'm an alien incubator, I think it's really cool. Every day there's something new, and feeling little Lemon squirming around is so, I don't know, completely mindblowingly awesome!
I will admit that in the early stages I wasn't yet bonded to the baby and was a little resentful of all that I was going through... Now if I don't feel her for a little while, I freak out!
Don't get me wrong, I seriously can't wait. I'm 29 and am finally starting to get baby crazy...
@Mrs. DG - an alien incubator! Hysterical! I'm sure it'll be the cutest little lemon alien ever!
Eh. It's science. Nature. Biology. All kinds of stuff I like all rolled into one. It's F*ing weird. Then again, I find lots of crazy stuff weird and cool at the same time.
I can totally get why it freaks people out.
Then again, I always wonder when women are afraid of things like blood, too. Aren't we supposed to be hardwired for this?! lol =]
yeah, I read it. And it only strengthened my lack of desire to ever bear children. It's gross. Pregnancy is gross to me. Seriously, something moving INSIDE your body? Yechk.
I read it. It's really not that bad. All the "gross" stuff the mommas talk about makes perfect sense. I mean, we poop and pee on a daily basis. We bleed out of our crotches every month. We produce saliva and snot and our faces get greasy. We fart. Moodniness, discharge, peeing constantly? I'd say pregnancy is on par with the grossness and unpleasantness of daily life, haha.
Gross is not childbirth. Gross is seeing your cat throw up, and then seeing your dog eat the throw up. 
I read it all since I created the topic. I have to say that I became less scared when I was doing my research as soon as I was pregnant because I actually had knowledge of what's normal and what is not normal. It's been an eye opening experience but I am loving every minute of it.
I was not really the kind of girl that was giddy about kids and I only had baby fever when one of my family members just had a baby. Normally, I was just scared. Not so much of what pregnancy would bring but the thought of being a parent. I wasn't ready yet at all. Once we got married, that all went out the door. We are at a great position in our life so it made the adjustment that much easier. Now that I am preggie, I have become giddy for just about everything baby related. I still have a little nervousness on what kind of parent I would be but it doesn't overwhelm me. Just the other day, I felt the baby for the first time. It was subtle but quite amazing. There really is something gowing in there :)
I think like another poster said, there may or may not be a time when pregnancy may not scare you. Then you may be ready.
I haven't opened it yet!!! But it keeps popping up so I'm sure I will read it soon :) I'm so excited to have kids but don't want to read what comes with it!!
I haven't read it, mainly because I'm not going to try to be pregnant for at least 3 more years.... why worry about it now? My only big worry is the fact that fraternal twins run in the fam.. and I'm a fraternal twin, and the way it's run through the family tree, there's a high possibility that myself or my twin will have twins!! So when we get to that point, we'll need to be prepared for the possibility of 2 at once just in case :)
@azula - haha, I know the feeling. It's beautiful and magical that as women we can grow / create life. but seriously? Something ALIVE is inside you, sucking away your resources and making you huge. And when it comes out it's covered in goo and screaming. clearly i don't want to have kids yet ;)
yeah, every time I see it I'm like "oooh I should read that, I like creepy body things" but then I realize that I don't like them enough to actually read them about what would happen if/ when I decide to ever have kids.
Eh, I had to read it sometime. And post my own mortifying experience. But you should never let facts scare you. Better the devil ye ken than the devil ye don't.
we want to get pregnant soon after we get married... so stupid me reads a girlfriends guide to pregnancy, and all of these posts! i'm terrified, but what can you do? i figure once the baby is in me i'll just have to deal with it and hope for the best. but i still like to know the worst.
Wow, you read Girlfriend's Guide before?? Brave.
I was scared but I did it anyway. I figured once it happened, I couldn't turn back no matter how scared I was. I think that's what a lot of women do, but no one wants to admit how scared they were or how they did it despite being terrified.
@mightysappire. my friend was reading it because her friend was pregnant and she wanted to know what she was going through... she told me about it and since i've had babies on the mind i read it. i do admit that it did keep me from thinking about babies for about a month! and i was a bit angry with my fi for no reason what so ever after certain chapters. but it also did give us good things to discuss! (mostly really gross things to discuss).
@artbee: That is so funny! You should consider getting "She's Having a Baby and I'm Having a Breakdown" for your FI (for once you get pregnant). It's not very technical, but it's a good guide for him on what you're going through!
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I have almost clicked on this post at least a dozen times, but I'm scared! I plan to start trying to have a baby very soon after the wedding but I'm still a bit freaked out and always have been.
Should I read it now or just wait for "the joys" to happen after there's no turning back? (This is meant with slight humor - just with an edge of terror.)
Anyone with me on this one?