Anyone else unmotivated to save for their wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you need to reevaluate what you want in a wedding and what you think is worth it. I don’t think that what you’re feeling is normal. Maybe you should consider doing a much smaller wedding.

Post # 5
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh please, this is so normal to feel like this!

I have no desire to spend $100k for one day with our enormous family when I can use that money and put it as a downpayment on a home in my city. I thought I wouldn’t mind a city hall thing with just the SO and I, but I actually do want a wedding.

My parents (well, Mom and stepdad) can afford to pay for it and my maternal grandparents have told me they have a savings account for my wedding but my SO is uncomfortable with that. My family has a lot more money than his and he wants us to pay for it ourselves. I’m cool with that, I agree we should pay for our own party. I just don’t want anyone to have to spend that kind of money for one night.

SO and I are leaning more towards a destination wedding. Not everyone’s personal taste, but I don’t care that’s probably what we’ll do.


Post # 6
3476 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@raziel1687:  Oh well, I want someone to fund my life with paying for a nice house, clothes, vacations etc too without having to pay for it too.  THAT would be nice.  But sadly, life doesn’t work like that (too often – unless you win the lottery or are the child of rich generous parents) and you have to decide if you want the wedding (and pain of saving for it) more than you want to spend the money on vacations.

Post # 7
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry but I cannot empathize. 

I am scrimping and saving with a smile on my face because our wedding is going to be awesome!

Post # 9
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@raziel1687:  sorry but that’s life!  I don’t WANT to pay my bills or spend my own money on new clothes and things for our home, but if we don’t, who will?


If you want the big fantasy wedding, it’s going to cost you.  And if you’re not willing to actually commit and save, you need to accept that it won’t happen.  Maybe it’s time to elope.

Post # 10
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@raziel1687:  I’m sorry that you’re being judged somewhat harshly for this. I think in the non-weddingbee world it would be perfectly normal to struggle with the idea of saving up many thousands of dollards and then not having any of it left after one day of partying. Obviously this is nothing like paying bills, it’s a very large expense and the whole industry is very pricey just for the sake of one day of celebration. 

I felt exactly the same way as you when FI and I thought we were going to pay for the whole thing ourselves. We also didn’t want to just get married and regret not having a wedding to include friends and family, but neither of us is actually passionate about the whole thing. In fact, I have a really hard time relating to the people that get really into small elaborate details, splurge a ton on photography, and spend 3-4 times what we will. If not for the fact that both of our sets of parents and my grandparents were surprisingly generous about contributing, I don’t know if I would ever manage to save even half as much as we need. It definitely didn’t feel like a financial priority to me, and I’m so lucky that it all worked out anyway. Hopefully it’ll all come together for you too 🙂 

Post # 11
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@raziel1687:  What can you do about it? Forget everything you read on here, throw away ever wedding book you own, turn off TLC and never watch another wedding show and remember that way back in the day, people went to the church, watched a couple become one and celebrated very modestly.

and their marriages even LASTED.

I happen to agree with you. Weddings to the degree that they are put on these days are a waste of money that can be used much better places, so do that. Decide that you don’t HAVE to impress anyone, that at the end of the day, if you’re married to the man you love, then mission accomplished.

Post # 13
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Hahaha, that was me too!  I was so excited to save for my wedding day because I wanted to make the wedding of my dreams come true!  (And it totally did).  🙂

Post # 14
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@raziel1687:  i hear ya!  i have a wonderful vision in my head of my perfect wedding..but then seeing the prices adding up i feel sort of guilty? like i could be using this money towards a house. but then i know i will regret it if i don’t have a wedding so i am doing it and attempting to stick to a smaller budget ($6,000 minus rings, honeymoon).  we are having a brunch wedding and have personalized it to where it will be very much “us”.  make it more personal and less generic and i think you’ll be more excited! 

Post # 15
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I absolutely understand. We had a reception only because my mom gave us money for it. had we had to use our money, we wouldn’t have.


I’m going to suggest doing something small. marrying at a park? marry at the courthouse and then going to a restaurant with your closest friends and direct family? planning a party in your house? don’t have a big wedding if you feel is throwing money away

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