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I grew up without my father, long story short, I was conceived in the middle of their divorce and he did not beleive I was his. Took 14 yrs for DNA, yep I'm yours, but it was too late and he had no desire since he left my Mom for his high school sweetheart and had an all new family. I'm 30 now and it has not bothered me since about the time of the DNA test. I always felt weird on this day, so now that I adore my FIL, it has become special to me. I feel bad bc he kind of gets pushed aside bc it is also my neice (his grandaughter) birthday. It always falls that way. I could not imagine what it must feel like to have a father you love so much then pass, so my thoughts are with you. I know my friend just lost her father 4 weeks ago suddenly and unexpected so she is having a very hard time with it. But, we are doing a BBQ birthday party and just having a relaxing day.
Kjpugs, I lost my dad in April 2004. Father's Day is still a pretty rough day for me, even though I usually try to make it busy so I can't sit around and be mopey. Every year since then I've made sure to make time to take a good long walk in the early evening to relax and think about him and quietly honor his memory. It still sucks but I find that having that time really helps me feel centered and not crazy emotional. The days leading up to Father's Day, particularly advertisements, tend to make me feel kind of down.
Tomorrow should actually be really busy as we're celebrating my future FMIL's birthday, my birthday, and Father's Day for future FIL all together with the FI's godparents and cousins and everyone. I'm looking forward to it. I don't really have any family (mom disappeared long ago, not in contact with other relatives), so I feel so blessed to be marrying into a huge family. It's not the same, but it helps.
I lost my dad to cancer a long time ago, 1991. It still sucks, although this year I get to celebrate the first year FH is a dad too! Bittersweet for sure! I am really longing for my dad to walk me down the aisle... :( That is the worst!
My father died Easter 2007 (blood clot after minor surgery). I'm an expat living in Korea, so Father's Day is helpful in that regard because I'm able to avoid public discussion and media stories about the day, but it's still rough calling up my grandfather and having to talk to him in a happy voice when we both know there is another person who is missing. Hugs to all of you.
I lost my Dad in 2001, about 3 weeks before Father's Day, and I think I will always miss him. I was actually looking for a Father's Day card for my husband yesterday (we're expecting) and I got really sad, because I have avoided looking at Father's Day cards for the last nine years.
We're going to spend the day with husband's family today, which likewise is the first time I'll be "celebrating" Father's Day since my dad passed away. I'm sure it will be lovely, but I had a cry last night thinking about it. I'm living across the country now, and can't even go put some flowers on his grave as I normally would.
(((hugs))) to all of you.
((hugs)) sometimes it's nice to know I'm not the only one silently coping and putting on a strong face. Thanks for sharing guys.
Ditto PP. It's really nice to know that others are going through this too. I also lost my father. In 2008 he died of a massive heart attack. Completely out of the blue. I'm immersing myself in wedding details today :(
I know exactly how each and every one of ya'll feel. My father was murdered December 21, 2000. I still have my moments, especially on his birthday (April 11th), Fathers Day and the day that he was taken from me, my brother and my sister. I have never forgiven his killers for what they did and I probably never will. Truthfully, I hope that they rot in their jail cell. It got a bit better for me after Robert's first Fathers Day when I had Jon but there is still a part of me that mourns on this day because my Daddy isnt here with me. I can only imagine how much crying I will do on my wedding day... I've asked his Dad, who I am very close to and feel a special connection with, to walk me down the aisle and he said yes. I've looked to him as a father figure since my Daddy died, so he is very special to me.
To all of you out there that do not have your dad's on this very special day, you are not alone.
***hugs*** to all the other bees coping with this.
My dad died from a massive heart attack when I was 6. In some ways, I'm lucky that I was so young and didn't have to adjust as much, but in other ways, I regret that I have so few memories of him. I was a daddy's little girl before that, though, and I do love to look back at pictures. I was his helper in the garden, in the kitchen, whatever, and I still remember the stuff we used to do together. The day he died, father's day, and his birthday always make me a little melancholy, and I get really choked up at my friends' weddings when their dads walk them down the aisle.
I lost my dad when I was 13 (13 years ago) and it's still hard. This Father's Day especially, with the wedding coming up and him not being around to walk me down the aisle.
Hugs to the other bees who are in this situation
((hugs to everyone)) It does get easier. Today instead of going to the cemetary, I built a brick patio in my yard. I know my Dad would be proud. He was a photographer, engineer, and very handy (he built a deck and brick patio at his house by himself) so I feel like I did so in his honor!
Oh yes! My mother left us when I was 10 yrs old. ( for another man) So my father was always there for me. He got sick and we thought it was just pneumonia. I was going through my separation from my 1st husband and living in a hotel. I honestly thought he was going to get better, we all did.I expected to visit him after he got home from the hospital. When I got the call that he was not coming out of the coma ( they sedated him) I jumped on a plane. I guess I was in denial, I thought it would be like you see in the movies and I'd go to him, hold his hand and say " Im here daddy, I love you" and he would wake up. That was not to be. He died while I was on the plane, Nov 12th 2003, one week after his 67th birthday. We later learned he had a very rare disease called Wegeners that had they found out about early on, he could have survived. I miss him so much, he'd have loved my FI. (((( HUGS TO ALL)))
I really missed both my dad and grandpa yesterday. Dad's been gone 11 years and grandpa 2.5 months.
Sorry everybody-me too, My dad died in 2005, my mom just last July. Still hard. I'm sorry for those who don't have their dad's to walk them down the aisle. I try to think of good memories. ((Hugs))
My dad died when I was 4 and my mom died in 2005, so both parental celebration holidays are rough. And yesterday, my FFIL decided to tell my fiance that he probably wasn't going to attend our wedding, due to health concerns he has chosen to not treat. All in all, it wasn't exactly a fantastic Father's Day.
You're not alone.
My dad died in Nov. 2004, and it seems like this was the worst Father's Day yet. My sister and daughter and I went to the cemetary and that was comforting. To make it harder, my husband of two weeks spent the day with his daughters, and my girls don't see their dad, so that was tough too. Still feeling really down today. Sending hugs to all of you who miss your dads too!!!
Yesterday was a little hard for me. My dad passed away last September of a heart attack. Completely unexpected. I have never felt so much pain in my life. My legs felt like jello for at least a week because of all of the adrenaline. I was so lucky to have such a great relationship with him. He was my best friend! I hated yesterday so much. I was at a birthday party for FI's cousin and people were leaving going their separate ways to spend time with their dads while I had to leave to go to the cemetery. I know that when I get married it's going to be really hard especially since my dad would always talk about me getting married (he LOVED my FI). But I know I will have the strength and be ok. Just like all of you ladies :)...hugs all around
@kjpugs: Missing my dad too. He died Jan 27, 2010, before I got engaged. I'm sorry he won't be there at my wedding, I know he would have been thrilled. Sadly, my fiance's dad passed away last year too, so there will be no fathers at our wedding at all.
Lost my dad almost 10 years ago.
Half the time, I was daddy's little princess, and he declared the world should cater to me. The other half of the time, when he was drunk, he beat the crap out of me. My parents split when I was 2, and my grandparents raised me. Both of my parents were occasionally around. But I've never really known what to do about Father's Day.
I'm still not sure what to do with Father's Day. For the time being, I just kind of ignore it. He doesn't have a grave I could go visit, anyway. He's simply "not there" anymore to me.
That probably doesn't make me sound like the most forgiving person on the planet. But it's a weird situation that nobody makes an instruction manual for, unfortunately.
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I think the post title says it all.
I lost my dad in January 2004. Every year it still sucks just the same. Luckily I have stuff to do tomorrow- my FIL is speaking at his church's father's day service so we are going to his church instead of ours tomorrow to support him. But still, it hurts so much on father's day, his birthday (Nov 7), and the anniversary of the day he died (Jan 30).
Anyone else? How are you guys spending father's day?