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Let me just say, I'm not pregnant but I totally understand where you're coming from. I am totally worried about this too! I workout a little and eat pretty heatlhy, and although I know I could look a little better and a lose 10-20 pounds, I am pretty ok with how I look, but I really don't want to be any bigger. I work with a ton of women and they are always like "oh just wait until you have kids", or some of them are quite overweight and tell me "I used to look like you...then I had kids". It makes me terrified (and it doesn't help that FH has said, in not so many words, he wouldnt find me attractive if I put on much weight).
I just try to stay calm and not fear the worst. FH's sister had a baby 8 months ago, and although she was quite slim before she got pregnant, she is just as fit, if not more so now, as she was pre baby. She had a pic on facebook of her in a BIKINI playing with her son in a wading pool like 4 months after giving birth. I hope to be so lucky!
Anyway, I have told myself that when I get pregnant I will keep working out and will keep eating well. You only need to add about 250 calories each day during pregnancy to accomodate the baby, so I will try to not let myself make excuses and say "Oh I need to eat this doughnut because I'm eating for two". And they say breast feeding helps drop weight, so I'm definitely going to do that.
Story: I weighed 197 on our wedding day-- my heaviest EVER. After the wedding, stress was over, they got my on the right thyroid meds and I started losing weight, quickly. Too Quickly. I have lost almost 40 lbs. I now weigh 159 and it's the beginning of March. People look at me stunned asking "how do you do it? Are you eating?" When people find out I'm pregnant it's even worse, "You can't even be eating for yourself! How are you nourishing a baby?!" I usually try to brush these comments off because I know people don't think about what they're saying but it really bothers me.
Back on topic: Of course I'm stressing about my weight. I've always had a pooch, even at 130lbs. but when I laid down it went away. Now, I lay down and it stays a bump, I know I'm starting to show already and we're only 10 weeks! I'm going to be huge! I wouldn't worry about your weight. At least you know you won't be like my friend and gain 80 lbs. :D Try to look at the positives!
@firsttimemom: haha! Thanks :-)
I guess I really just need to get off my lazy butt and start exercising. My arms really bug me and there is no reason that I can't lift some little weights to get those toned. I guess if I know this is going to be a worry...I should just get off the couch and be a little bit more active instead of waiting to get really big :-)
It's hard...we spend our whole lives trying to not get really big and when you are pregnant you are going to gain weight and you just have to deal with it! haha!
Silly me looks forward to the day when my belly "pops". At least I wont have a pooch anymore. 1st time I will ever hard a hard belly! LOL!!
I had that same issue. I gained a lot of weight before I got pregnant. I didn't take bump pics until I was 16 weeks and I was sure it was baby, not all fat. Now that I'm 21 weeks I feel better about it b/c I know more of it is baby. I try not to worry about it too much now. There's nothing I can do about it, I eat pretty healthy, and it just doesn't help to worry. I figure it will be worth it in the end, and I'll worry about it once the baby is out.
Yep, very worried. I'm plus size, so I don't want to gain too much. My nurse/nutritionist did give me a handout on a 2100 calorie meal plan to keep my weight stable and not go over 15lbs. It hasn't been too hard because I haven't been wanting food anyway. Maybe in the 3rd trimester I'll go crazy for some food or something. I eat now, but 2nd tri seems to be the feel like yourself again, but not hungry as a hippo trimester.LOL
@spraguebride: Ohmigosh, I feel exactly the same way! I was very heavy for a long time and about seven years ago, I lost a bunch of weight, and have kept it off. I have low thyroid, so I have to work extra hard to keep my weight in check - like you, I always seem to have an extra ten pounds I'd like to lose. (Although I know in my heart, I look fine the way I am.)
And now, at eleven weeks, my abdomen is starting to...change. And my waistline (what little I had, I'm apple shaped) is disappearing. I emailed my mom in a panic this week: "Is this supposed to happen already?" I'm eager for a bump, but right now, I just look like I'm getting chunky. I've been pouting about it all week.
It is really hard to go from the mindset of "eat healthy, burn calories, lost weight" to "eat healthy, stay active, gain a healthy amount of weight for the baby." I keep reminding myself that my body is doing wonderful and miraculous things right now and that's the important part.
Plus, I totally plan on pulling a Jennifer Hudson: after the baby is born, losing all the baby weight, plus more! 
Thank you for posting this! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way!
I've actually been pleasantly surprised by what pregnancy has done to my body image. While pregnancy has been mostly a miserable experience, I've been lucky in that all of my weight gain (at 35 weeks I've gained about 20 lbs) has gone to my boobs and my belly, and I think that this is the first time in a looong time that I'm not all soft and jiggly in my midsection. The baby has stretched out all my stomach fat, so I now weirdly feel MORE comfortable baring my belly than before, and I've found that the longer tops I tend to wear in pregnancy are more flattering around my thigh fat too. So it might not be as bad as you fear :)
I completely understand where you are coming from. Its scary now that i am pregnant, for me mostly because it is the unknown (you never know how your body will react to pregnancy). I had not been on the scale since before i was married, when i went to my first prenatal visit, i told myself i wouldnt look, but of course i did and i have gained 18 pounds in 13 months since the wedding, it doesnt sound like a lot but its enough where most of my old clothes dont fit very well. My biggest problem is sweets, so i have made myself, stop eating candy... (the hardest thing i have ever done). I am now replacing that sweet stuff with an apple and a banana, it helps the cravings. My trouble spots are my upper arms and tummy, and it really doenst help that i feel really bloated, i am trying to do light weights on my arms to help tone them. I have also made a huge effort to eat balanced meals and snacks (thats where i eat worst, when i am so hungry i dont make good choices). My encouragement has been to be healthy for the baby.
I am also glad that you posted this, its nice to know that there are other women out there feeling the same way.
@Lozza: I laugh when you mention your "no longer jiggle belly" because I feel that same way. As silly as it sounds...I think I may be MORE comfortable when I "pop"...just like you said you were. I have always hated my flabby belly and always trying to cover it. I am eager for when I have a nice hard round belly and I have thought that it will be a neat feeling to wear those form fitting maternity shirts. I have NEVER shown off my belly before and I think that I maybe will actually feel better about myself. If only I can keep my arms and face in check :-)
@lilybay: haha! Jennifer Hudson! You are so right! That chick got TINY!! I think it's hard when you have lost weight in the past few years and are finally happy with how you look after a few years of being really unhappy. Hard to just "surrender" to the process.
@octobermom: You are so right about the unknown. This is my 1st time so I have NO idea how my body will react. Will I luck out and gain most of it in my belly and boobs....or will I seem to "swell" everywhere from my arms, to my face and butt. It's hard just not knowing what to expect. But as the same time, I have wanted this for as long as I can remember, I need to embrace it. But I am finding that when it comes to gaining weight, that can be easier said than done. ;-)
I had the same concerns when I first got pregnant and if it helps I'm actually healthier now (37 weeks) than I was before the pregnancy. Baby guilted me into a healthier lifestyle. I was pretty religious about following the doctor's recommendations they hand out to all pregnant women with regards to daily servings and food choices and didn't fall into the indulgent eating for two habits. There was just something really satisfying about being super healthy once I was responsible for someone else's health that I hadn't been motivated to do before. The "is it a pooch or is she pregnant?" stage can be tough because I felt self-conscious that I just looked fat to everyone. Once I hit the obviously a baby bump stage it got a lot easier for me. The ironic thing is I actually feel more confident with my body now than before I was pregnant. Though my belly gets a "wow, you must be close" reaction from people who haven't seen me in a while, when I look in the mirror I just see a baby house, not a big belly that others may see. I'm sure some insecurities will return once I have the baby and work to get back into non-maternity clothes, but I don't dread it now like I did early pregnancy. I think yours is a common worry, but I can honestly say in all of the pre-baby classes I've taken, I've thought the women in my classes looked incredible...I think we're a lot harder on ourselves than we should be.
I was also really worried about this until my two gfs who hae just had babies lost weight (from arms and legs) during their pregnancy. Once they gave birth they weighed less than they did at the start. I think providing you dont eat for two, you are unlikely to gain heaps of weight (u only need to eat an extra 400cal to grow a baby)
I was also really worried about this until my two gfs who hae just had babies lost weight (from arms and legs) during their pregnancy. Once they gave birth they weighed less than they did at the start. I think providing you dont eat for two, you are unlikely to gain heaps of weight (u only need to eat an extra 400cal to grow a baby)
At 29 weeks i've gained 31 lbs.. yikes!! and still many weeks to go. To answer your question...im very worried about what im going to do after i have the baby and i have 40 lbs to loose. My last baby who is now 8 years old i gained 34 lbs the hole pregnancy and it took me almost 2 years to get back to a reasonable weight. I was around 150 to start and it took me forever to get to that weight because of my hypothyroid condition. Im starting to just focus on the health of my baby and try not to think about the weight until after the baby is born and hopefully healthy. good luck and just keep your eye on the prize.... YOUR baby :-)
I was probably at my highest weight when I got married and then got pregnant last summer. It's not an awful weight for me, but I've steadily put on an extra 20 pounds in the last 4 years going up at least a size. I felt pretty heavy and have enjoyed being pregnant so I don't have to suck in my belly anymore!
A couple things:
Also, my midwife told me that I should only be eating an extra 200-250 calories a day but only once I was between 14-16 weeks along. You don't have to eat extra calories right away.
I am so with you. I was thinking about this over the weekend and even considered posting about it.
I was overweight for a lot of my adult life. I have lost more than 100 pounds in 15 years, and within the past year I got within 5 pounds of my goal weight. I've never felt better and I've never felt healthier.
I'm 12 weeks pregnant tomorrow and so far, I've gained 8 lb. I'm exercising most days, and while I do get my protein and calcium and veggies, I also like my snacks, so that's probably why I'm a tiny bit over where I should be. I feel extremely bloated, and sometimes I think I look heavier and sometimes I don't. A girlfriend even told me over the weekend that while my face appeared to get a little too thin after losing weight, it's looking more filled out now. No wonder. :)
But I'm not going to try not to allow myself to fret about it. Worrying isn't going to do me or baby any good at all, so what's the point?
Pass the cookies. ;)
@gr8tlexi: I HATE it when people say that (I used to look like you...) like you're doomed. I think it's ends up being about motivation. Getting/staying in shape is a huge comittment - most people who make it a priority see results, it doesn't just happen magically.
It's definitely freaking me out. I've never had any major weight gain or loss, I've always been within a 10lb range depending on my eating/working out. So it was really really hard for me when I started gaining weight and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Plus I was ready to kill anyone who talked about my weight or my "bump" before there was anything really there. I'm 100% in the normal range but my body changing is still really really hard to deal with mentally.
I'm really worried about losing it. Hopefully once the baby is born I'll be able to get back to my regular work-outs.
Makes me sad that I'll miss out on this year's swim season. I'm buying a cute bikini that I saw recently just to motivate myself for next year. I'm being optimistic.
I completely understand where you are coming from. It's funny because the last few months this has been a constant nab at me, and I've been trying for the last 3 months to take off the 10 pounds I gained AFTER the wedding with no luck. I'm not fat either but still carry that extra pudge, in the belly area and in my face a lot. I hate hate how heavy my face looks right now. My DH swears I look great and you can't tell I gained 10 pounds, but I feel it when I look in the mirror and when I try to wear my old cloths. I've been living in sweats and leggings.
I too fear that when I get preggo I am going to blow up and I fear I won't be able to take the weight off before I get preggo. I don't have any great advice for you, I wish I did. I work out, and still no luck but my eating habits aren't the best. I wish I had more to offer in advice.
Yup. The baby is due in May and I'm a little water lover, we already have a beach vacation planned for 2 months after the baby is due and I don't want to look like I just had a baby. My weight gain's alright but a bit goofy, little scrawny arms with extra padding in my butt and thighs. I can handle one pieces to cover the belly but I'm freaked out about the way my thighs would look right now when I want to swim. I've been exercising and somewhat eating alright so I'm trying to make myself believe that I've done what I can so far but I'm only somewhat believing it.
Thanks so much for all your input and advice guys! I was not in shape before....didn't work out. Though I know I can't go on some hard-core work-out kick....I think now is the time to start getting more active and get kind of in shape. I am going to gain weight no matter what....but maybe if I get more active I can stay on top of it before it gets out of hand.
It's hard to know that your body is going to grow and it's mostly out of your control. I just need to focus on eating healthy...and most importantly for me, I need to start being more active.
I am not pregnant yet but, one of my biggest fears besides having an unhealthy baby is my tummy. It has always been flat and toned and i am so scared of being fat because i have never been in my life. I plan on working out the whole pregnancy as long as its safe and eating healthy. And probably get a personal trainer afterwards but, i'm scared my tummy won't go back and i am going to be disapointed on how i look after a baby. I'm scared my future hubby won't be attracted to me anymore if i'm not as skinny as he's used to.
Whatever you do, DO NOT LIVE ON HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE SYRUP & HEALTHY CHOICE ICE CREAM!!!!! Did it and gained waaaaay more than I should've! LOL! It took a summer of walking around a college campus in heels (upstairs, downstairs, across campus and back) to loose the weight!
With my daughter, I ended up having gallbladder trouble the first trimester (didn't know I was pregnant and NO ONE did a pregnancy test!) so I didn't gain weight, but I sure did loose it. By the end of the pregnancy, I only had baby weight because I ate healthily (due to my FI, lol) and was wearing my normal clothes as soon as my ribs healed (don't ask unless you want a c-section horror story).
It's all a matter of how healthy you eat and how much you eat. If you don't want to eat all day, I suggest chewing mint-flavored gum or candy. Like the after dinner mints (the white and red starburst candies). The mint flavor and the chewing helps to nix the hunger. As long as your eat healthy meals, you'll be fine.
You do NOT need to eat for two, since the baby is getting all it's nurishments from what you're eating. It's a myth, nothing more. Okay, it's actually an excuse to over eat.
If you already exercise, talk to your dr. It should be safe for you to continue light exercises. (Though walking towards the end can and will bring on labor. Ever hear the phrase 'walking the baby here', that's what they mean. And it works.)
And, yeah, both pregnancies, I felt like the Good Year Blimp before it was over with. My son, especially. My FI, however, when I was pregnant with my daughter refused to let me say it.
@roxy_angell13: Funny because I've always been thin and my husband said after I'd gained some baby weight - that I looked better. Sometimes they'll surprise you.
Yep this is concerning me, I gained 15lbs with my first (9 years ago), I'm already seeing a pooch at 10 weeks. I'm a small girl 4'11" and under 100lbs, so even the slightest weight gain definetly shows on me.
I've had all kinds of cravings so far, and not all are good ones lol! Last week I loved our local mexican drive-through's rice and beans! HA!
It is so freaking hard not to snack all day long! I bring lots of fruits and veggies to work to snack on that helps. Grapes, dried mango's, grapefruit (that's hard to eat a desk though LOL), baby carrots and ranch...
Sometimes I will go home and be so ravenously hungry that I devour dinner. Oh well it's all part of it. I just hope to not gain more than 15lbs.
I did learn that right after delivery (still in the hospital) you'll have tons of flab on your tummy, but breastfeeding even for a week helps. I dropped my weight fairly quickly, this time around I'll be doing the 30 day shred afterwards so I hope it goes sooner!
@StbHisMrs: The recommended weight gain is between 25-35lbs.
I gained around 30 with my daughter, she was 7lbs and I dropped every ounce after she was born.
If you eat healthy, then whatever weight you gain, will be baby weight, not unhealthy hard-to-impossible to loose weight.
It is scary no matter what size you are! I have always weighed 100lbs and was terrified of gaining weight-which sounds stupid to a lot of people, I realize this, but whatever. I like, every other woman on the planet did not want to gain weight.
I'm now (due tomorrow!) 130lbs! It happend so gradually that I don't even care. and also just keep in mind that the whole "eating for two" thing is kind of BS. You only need 300 extra calories a day when you are pregnant. Less than a starbucks fat free blueberry muffin! I'm not saying I didn't eat a lot sometime, but I mostly craved fruit fruit fruit ( along with the occasional taco and cookie) Also-I'm sure you know-but the healthier you eat, the less hungry you feel. I could eat potato chips for days and be starving, but if i ate two apples for a snack the hunger went away until dinner time. And for some reason I craved bread. that is like the dumbest pregnant craving ever.
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Like many women, I struggle with body image. I am not very overweight, but I have gone up and down and at the very least...always have an extra 10lbs that I wish I didn't.
Over the past few years I been able to get down to a weight were I am "ok" with how I look. I am not going to rock a bikini....but I don't have a double chin like I have had before, and I don't cry when I try to find something to wear.
That being said...I have always hated my belly because that is where I carry my weight.
I have now started to feel some dread about my pregnancy. Wishing I had been thinner before I got pregnant. Worried that I am going to hate how I look. Worried that double chin will come back. Envious of the ladies who were thin and look SO cute with their bump but their still thin face and arms.
I know I cannot go on a diet at this point because that is not healthy. I'm sure I could start exercising a little to get on top of things like my arms. But I know I will gain weight and I am worried that I will hate how I look.
I don't want to take "early" pregnant pics because I don't have a flat tummy to start. I have a pooch and I am NOT showing yet....just showing fat! haha!
Do you worry about dealing with body image issues while pregnant? Or how have you dealt with them?