Anyone elses DH get freaked out to start TTC?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Kate0558:  This is a big scary step in life, and I honestly think the TTC part is scarier than finding out you’re pregnant, especially when we tell our men everything that’s going on, temping, charting, making him wear boxers, and staying away from certain foods. Obviously you’re not doing all of that, but I can see how it would scare him to tell him when you think you’re ovulating.

Sometimes making a baby isn’t a turn on for men, even if they want kids. Honestly, if DH were to say “Let’s make a baby” I’d be so completely turned off (and I know if I told him I was ovulating he’d have probably been a little grossed out by that terminology). When we made the decision to “try” he knew I was charting, but when we actually DTD, we didn’t refer to it as baby making or talking about what we were doing.

If your DH pulls out at this point, you will obviously need to get him to stop (duh). I feel so awkward talking about sex stuff as I don’t normally on the Bee, but you could use this to your advantage and say something like stay inside me or whatever *as I type I am getting horribly embarrassed lol*

Going forward though I would just not tell him any of that stuff right now and just take it as it comes. If you guys have been DTD for a while (with him obviously not pulling out) with no success then a conversation may be in order about if you guys are on the same page with having kids.

Post # 4
Member
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Yes, we had exactly this problem (now its mostly better!). I am on my phone atm so cant do any clever hyperlinking but if you search my profile for the thread you’ll find some empathy 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

My DH also dislikes babies. Dislike may not actaually be a strong enough word lol. We’ve been TTC for 7 months now. He agreed to have children, because he knew how important to me it was, but I wasn’t sure he was 100% sure himself. DH is very reserved and doesn’t like to talk about ‘feelings and stuff’ so I didn’t talk about it too much when we first began trying because I knew it made him nervous.

As time went by and we didn’t have any success, I began discussing my disappointment with him, especially since I wasn’t sure he was 100%, I thought he might just be agreeing to make me happy. The more we talked the more I realized how on board he was with having children. I can honestly say that he’s gotten much more comfortable with the idea of physiacally having a baby too. He says that he always envisioned us with a family, but that the idea of babies terrifies him. He’s great with children, but avoids babies like the plague. TMI, but we hadn’t been having much sex when I wasn’t ovulating and when I asked him about it he said that he hadn’t been initiiating because he ‘wanted to make sure we would definately be able to do it at the right time’ and didn’t want waste any chances since our drives don’t always match up.

My advice would be to keep it chill for awhile and give him some time to get used to ‘trying’. Try, but do it by initinating at the right time without saying why. The idea of actually trying, on purpose, and not preventing can be quite terryfying at first. I know it was for me, so I can only imagine what it muct be like for our DH’s.

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