Anyone else's DH/SO not excited about the pregnancy?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Was he like that the first time around?

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@brighteyedgirl:  I’m sorry he’s not giving you the reaction you wanted. Some guys, even if they want that, are just not excited about the pregnancy. Perhaps he will change (and I’m sure he will) once the baby comes? If you guys already have one child, he probably knows how this all goes, and maybe this isn’t that exciting for him.

DH is/was excited but less than understanding about my issues at first. He wouldn’t take the dog out so I could sleep. He also tells everyone I have had a perfect pregnancy with nothing wrong, which frustrates me because then everyone thinks I’m a miss priss type gal, and although I have been fortunate, I just don’t complain al lthe time. Once I told him my vision blurs (and that my back hurt so bad this weekend), he gets it. He understands I don’t have to be throwing up to have it rough.

I hope your husband comes around.

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t know what his health issues are, so I hope you aren’t offended by this mini-rant, but some men are the biggest babies when it comes to illness. They act like it’s a license to be a jerk, and no one in the world has it as bad as they do. GRR!

My mini-rant aside, I’m sorry his reaction wasn’t what you hoped. Hopefully when he’s feeling better he’ll realize what a jerk he was being and make it up to you. Until then, don’t let him bring you down! Just do whatever you need to do to feel your best, laundry and floors and bathrooms be damned. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Perhaps, like roseohseven mentioned, could his lack of reaction be due to his illness? I’m sorry he’s not as thrilled as you would like. Have you told anyone else IRL? sisters, mom, best friend? How did they react, if you did? I know we, here on the Bee, are SUPER EXCITED for you!!! 

 

Post # 7
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hopefully your DH starts getting excited when you get a baby bump – and when he feels the baby move.  Hang in there – its early – maybe it hasnt hit him yet.

Post # 8
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Some guys are more laid back in their reactions.  And some men get struck with worry.  He might be thinking more about medical issues with you under the circumstances or even money.  Theres never such a thing as being totally ready for this type of news.  

Post # 9
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@brighteyedgirl:  Are we married to the same guy?

My DH literally refused to believe I was pregnant until the doctor confirmed it (despite seeing THREE digital tests that all read “Pregnant”)

He whined about what I made him for dinner when I was so morning sick that I couldn’t eat dinner myself.

Now I’m almost 6 months, and he whines when I put my feet on “his” cushion on the couch. And he still refuses to look at my belly, and refuses to touch it about half of the time.

It’s SO hard to love the baby so much and be SO excited and be SO uncomfortable, and have someone who’s not supportive 80% of the time…

Post # 11
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My DH was not excited when I told him… Despite the fact that we’ve been trying for 14 cycles!! Needed the results of the blood test before he believed it…

I know he is very happy… But also very scared of miscarriage since he’s had 2 in a previous relationship at 8 & 11 weeks… This will be his first so I think he’s just trying not to get his hopes up…

he has been fairly supportive… The other day his cologne almost set off my nausea so I demanded he changed shirts… He was really mad and begrudgingly changed saying “YOU picked this cologne!!!”… Umm yeah, before I was pregnant!!! 

Good Luck!!

Post # 12
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

We had an oops and got pregnant on our honeymoon. The transition to accepting te pregnancy was rough at first, especially for DH. He has been very helpful and supportive of me and helps me SO much, but there are some things he doesn’t want to do. He flat out refuses to feel the baby move in my tummy, he says it freaks him out. He also doesn’t like to look at all the cute baby stuff with me.

I think my DH’s issue is that he is afraid he won’t be able to provide for our family like he wishes he could, and he’s afraid of letting us down. I think he’s just feeling the weight of the responsibility.

I can’t say that I blame him for not feeling connected to the pregnancy. It even took me a long to feel conmected to the pregnancy (once I found out we’re having a girl, and started feeling movement). I know he’ll be a great dad when she’s born 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My husband had a really hard time during the first trimester. He was still supportive of me and my cravings and such, but he just didn’t understand all the changes taking place in my body so he couldn’t understand that everything I said I was feeling was truly justified. I’ll add that she’s a surprise, and we really intended to wait to try for another year or two. I’m 33 weeks now, and he’s please as punch. He talks to her and is planning all sorts of things to do with her. He tells me now that he’s excited. 

It’s a little weird since your husband should know what to expect, but maybe he forgot? Since it was so long ago and you had so many other factors, maybe he just doesn’t know how to react now. Also, he may be nervous about the whole first trimester bit, so he doesn’t want to get too excited. 

One of my favorite pregnancy-happenings was in the second trimester when I was in the kitchen getting some cleaner out, my husband walked in and said, “What are you thinking? You can’t use that!” And he proceeded to clean the counters. I honestly didn’t even think about the “fumes,” I just knew the counters needed a good scrub. 

I’d say give him some time… he’ll likely come around. 

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  My husband is the same way with our oops! He’s totally creeped out by her moving– so much so that she kicked the bed one night, he felt it, and he was just about to sleep on the floor. He’s okay if I show him cute things every now and again, but he tells me that he’s excited to play with her when she’s her own person– that’s all he cares about. 

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