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We aren't in exactly the same situation but I have class two nights a week plus my husband is going to be working 60 hours coming up probably so I'm guessing we won't see eachother much. Can you two get together and do things on the weekends?
Sort of. Firefighter shifts are kinda like night shifts, only ALL day + night. Every 3rd day. It definitely sucks! But to be honest, I think the time apart makes you cherish the time together even more!
Well, ours isn't quite that bad. Fi works from 3PM - 11PM (Saturday - Wednesday) and I work 8AM - 5PM (Monday - Friday). We don't live together, so we have to slip in time when we can.
We sorta dealt with that. When DH was deployed, he was 9 hours ahead of us. We didn't see each other for the whole 8 months and talking was pretty much impossible b/c of the timing. We emailed a LOT, even if it was a tiny little update. I think the notes are cute =].
You have 2 days that don't overlap, right? make those date nights!
We deal with a variation of this. I work a regular 8 hour day, 8-4:30. FI works a varied schedule. He works nights on Thursday and Friday, mid shift on Saturday, early mornings that sometimes run into early evening on Wednesday and Sunday, and has Mondays and Tuesdays off. It's annoying, but we try to make the best out of it.
we have opposite schedules too. He has a flexible schedule--sometimes works 1-5 and then 6-10, sometimes 9-1 and then 4-8...i work 7:30-4. Sometimes i come home looking forward to spending the evening with him, but other times i've had such a long day i welcome an evening alone, so the variety is a good thing!
the only thing i dont like sometimes is that we dont usually go to bed together. he usually comes in later.
i know it is nothing like having your guy deployed or being separate every night, though. that must be rough :(
My situation is almost exactly the same as PrncssDva
I work Thursday to Monday 8am-4 or 5 pm, he works 4pm-midnight on any random 5 days of the week. He's gone by the time I get home and I'm in usually bed by the time he gets home, unless I stay up way too late so I can actually see him briefly. I'm also at uni on my 2 days off from work anyway, and am busy doing assignments in my "free" time, so we pretty much never get to see each other. One day every month or 2.
He's losing his job soon though (26 days) as his workplace is closing for 4 months for renovations. So he is busy looking for another job. It will be great that I may be able to see more of him, although if he can't find more work it will mean I will just have to work even more, as he's not getting any payment at all from them.
My FI works in the evenings every now and then. It's frustrating to have opposite schedules. But we don't live together, so it makes a little more sense that we don't see each other during the AM hours.
We both have weird schedules. He works M T TH F, 8-8pm... and Sat 9-5, Sun 12-4 with one weekend off a month.
I work 3-11 three nights a week, and every other weekend. I work in nursing so my schedule will never be "normal"!
I'm the one who works overnights - 11pm to 7am......and I love it! I never have the same days off either, since I work 4 days and then have 2 - my days off each week differ! My sleeping is definitely screwed up though - I rarely get a full 8 hours - its more like 2 extended naps during the day - I try to be awake while he is home.
^MrsJKH2be, how are your nights off? Do you sleep at night or just keep the same sleeping schedule where you sleep during the day? I'm wondering because I may be going on to the 11-7 shift when I start school.
Kind of the same situation:
I work 9-5 and he works a shift that varies but he always starts between 2 and 4 and finishes between 10 and 12.
It sucks. I am ALWAYS tired because I wait up for him so that means that I don't always get enough sleep and I basically wait up to tell him goodnight!
We also work different days I am M-F and he is Tues - Sat and so we only have one day off together and that is Sunday and it is usually taken up with weekly chores UGH! I hate it!
I thought I would chime in and offer some advice! I am a nurse too, like your FI. I work 12 hour shifts, rotating days and nights, while my FI works a regular 9-5 job. It sounds like your FI works mostly nights. I totally understand what it is like to not sleep by your partner at night. I can promise you this - your FI is at the hospital thinking of you while he is caring for his patients! Here are some things that have lessened the impact for us:
1) When you FI comes off of nights, does he get home in time for you to have breakfast together or share a snuggle in bed? I work 7 pm to 7 am, and get home at 7:30 am. If we don't snuggle, we always eat breakfast together. It is just a way to have that regular connection with yoru partner, despite the crazy scheuldes.
2) On days you miss each other, definitely leave loves notes and phone each other! Its important to maintain that connection in anyway that you can when you are on opposite schedules. Sometimes I'll bake something for my FI after I wake up from nights, and leave him a treat plus a note. I also always phone him to tell him good night from the hospital when he is going to bed.
3) I don't know how much sleep your FI gets in between shifts, but perhaps if he is up at lunch sometime, depending on how close you work to our house, you could meet up for lunch occasionally? We do this and its really great if you can swing it.
Shift work can be hard on relationships and family life, so I know exactly how you feel. Try some of my suggestions above if you can. Good luck!
@Blondee.....
On my days/nights off I keep the same schedule - only because my body physically won't let me sleep until 6/7am. Last night I took some cold medicine to get to bed a little earlier so I could spend some time w/ my FI today (its my day off) - I wasn't even sick, probably bad, I know!!
My FI used to work nights too and what he would do is when he was coming off his last night @ 7am, he would fight the urge to sleep and keep busy so he would sleep "normal" on his days off.
Sometimes on my days off I will set my alarm so that I only sleep for 4-5 hours so I don't waste the day away if I'm off.
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My FI works as a nurse and works a lot of night shifts. His nights shifts + my day work ours = we don't see each other. Sometimes we'll go 4 or 5 days without seeing each other - while living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed!! I'll get to talk to him usually in the am unless he has to stay late. Our communication is down to emails and notes left by the door.
Anyone else deal with this?