Anyone else's SO/FI/DH in the dog house after last night?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

I’d have a good talk with him today. He was probably just super drunk. that certainly doesn’t excuse anything. He needs to get rid of that friend ASAP. I’m sorry you had to walk home alone. Glad you got home safe

Post # 4
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@jadlnc:  wowser I would be pretty irritated as well. DH and I have been together for 10 1/2 years and has only been stumbling drunk twice. One of those times we were both drunk and the other time I was livid. He celebrated his brother’s 21st birthday and came home super drunk passed out on our living room floor at 2am. Thankfully he took a cab home and apologized profusely after he recovered. That was two years ago and nothing close to it has happened since.

OP, I hope your FI apologizes when he wakes and promises not to so that to you again.

Post # 6
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I am glad I’m not the only one. My husband drank too much and got really obnoxious, and I was like wow…I married you? Go me 😐 He sure has his funny moments, but for our first married new years’, it just felt like he was in frat boy mode. Once he had sobered up a bit he got better but man, I was getting envious of the couple who act like velcro. I wanted to be cuddled and loved on, not treated like the ball and chain.

 

That said, your FI should NEVER have you walk home alone in the middle of the night, and ps. you shouldn’t have either! Get a cab next time, okay? Be safe. You can vent to the taxi driver and get home in a warm car.

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

Sorry you had a sucky new year. Sounds like your FI, being at the almost all male party, forgot he wasn’t just out with his boys. This was probably made much worse by him having too much to drink. You and your FI should definitely speak to the friend that propositioned you. It needs to be nipped in the bud now in no uncertain terms. 

Me and my husband used to have this issue all the time and it actually let to us breaking up for a while when we were first dating. He would go out with his friends and invite me along, then ignore me and want to stay out forver, even though I was not having a good time and wanted to go home. He would also just leave me to get home on my own. It made me feel very disregarded and uncared about. 

We have resolved it by talking over what kind party/night out each thing is going to be. If he sounds like it’s him and his boys, then I just leave him to it and stay in or do my own thing. For some reason he wants me to go, because he misses me, even if he really wants to spend time with his friens, haha! If it’s an event where we both know people I usually tell him what time I estimate I’ll want to leave (usually I’m the DD, so I’m bored with drunk people much more quickly) and he either comes home with me or arranges a lift with someone else and stays on. He then takes a little time out of his night to walk me to the car and kiss me goodbye and everyone’s happy. 

I’m sure you guys can work this out and come to an arrangement where you’ll both be happy for next time. 

Post # 10
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

@jadlnc:  Guys can be dumb. Right after everyone had left, my husband morphed back into the sweet guy I know. WHY can’t he act like that when people are around!? Why does he turn into a fifteen year old boy? Ugh, it’s embarassing and when the house is quiet and he’s saying “I love you, you’re beautiful, let’s cuddle,” I want no part of it.

Post # 11
Member
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh my gosh that would piss me off too! And his friend…wtf? I had a similar situation but not as extreme on Christmas, where FI’s best friend’s older brother was kinda all over me and I hardly know him. I think because they grew up together he figured we’re all close? When he gave me a hug goodbye he like, bumped his crotch at mine, like in a humping way…I was mortified but FI was so caught up with everyone else that he didn’t see! I laugh it off now but in the moment…oh god I just didn’t know how to feel or react. Then one of the other friends snuck a picture of me on his iphone…I saw the whole thing but had no idea wtf he was doing…and I still don’t know. Drunk people, lol.

Well I sure hope you guys work it all out!

 

Post # 12
Member
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Actually… I’m kinda in the dog house today.

I’ve told FI in the past that I dont give a wit about new years stuff, which is perfectly true. But he was at work all day, and I’m always stuck at home alone, so when he got home from work and said he was going out, I completely blew up and started crying and told him that if he left then he didnt care about me.

It was pretty pathetic. I’ve just been depressed and lonely lately (he’s been working 12-14 hour days, and I dont work at all, so I’m mostly alone) and I think it just all came raging out at once.

Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

OP, I would be most upset that your FI allowed you to walk home on NYE alone at 3:30 AM. Even drunk I know that my SO would have my best interests in mind, and want to keep me safe. I would definitely have a talk with him about this, and about how he needs to control his drinking the next time you are in a party situation. I really don’t think it’s just “having a bit of fun” when you can’t even remember it the next day. 

Post # 14
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jadlnc:  I’d be mostly upset about the walking home part. I think though for him, not that it’s an excuse to do whatever he pleases, but he was probably shmammered beyond the point of no return. I’d cut him some slack for anything he may have said that bothered you, however I’d let him know that you don’t appreciate him getting absolutely sh*t faced no matter the occasion.

 

Post # 15
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@allyfally:  I don’t understand. Did he ask you to go out with him and you didn’t want to go? Even so, if my husband went out on New Year’s Eve without me, unless I was sick, I’d be REALLY pissed off!

 

Post # 16
Member
2519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@allyfally:  omg i totally understand! Its so hard when your SO is working a lot. Any time off is precious! I don’t think you are in the wrong at all!

My FI is a cop and I would have flipped if he was like “see ya I’m going alone with my friends on NYE!” um yeah I woulda been mad!

But IMO there is no excuse for him leaving you at 3 am to walk home alone. No matter the area that is not safe at all. I would be super mad/dissapointed/over it at my FI if he left me to my own devices at 3 am. I find that unacceptable!!

Truth be told if My FI ever wanted me to walk home alone, my first call would be to HIS brother, then my brothers, then my dad, then his dad lol.  I wouldnt walk home alone under any circumstances. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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