Post # 1
While I realize this is not common, I was thinking about a previous relationship ship that I was in before I met FI. I was 20 years old. After about a year of dating, he got very serious, and at one point informally asked me to marry him. I said that I felt I was still too young to think about that option. He was really hurt – I can appreciate the guts it took to ask me, but we were never on the same page for most of the relationship anyways.
Anyone else ever been in a relationship where you weren’t on the same page at all? Perhaps even proposed to?
Post # 3
Good question! No; I was only in one other long term relationship in my life besides my current one. I would have said NO! Though at first, maybe i would have at least thought about it.
Post # 4
My fi was talking about marriage right from the beginning. I was 21 and even though we were living together and I was very happy, I wasn’t sure if he was “the one”. I held off giving him a proper answer for 2 years and then one day – lightning bolt – and I told him I was ready to get engaged. We were so excited and told everyone over the next few weeks and then…I wasn’t excited anymore. I felt sick and afraid and didn’t know why. It was a horrible time. I moved into my parents house for a couple of weeks while I did exams and tried to get my head straight. In the end we decided to stop with the wedding talk and see if what we had was worth saving. It was, but fi was heartbroken and very much over the whole marriage thing. However 4 years later I was definitely ready to take that step. It took another year after I told him I wanted to marry him for him to decide he wanted to marry me too, and propose. We’re now 3 weeks away and very happy although I know if I said let’s forget the wedding & just live in sin forever, he’d be ok with that 🙂 I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for what I put him through back then though.
Post # 5
Interesting post! Personally, Not I, and the more I think about it, I don’t know anyone who said “no.” I know plenty of people who ended their engagment, but that was obviously after a “yes.”
Post # 6
I have been proposed to several times before (hazard of holding out until your 30’s).
One broke up with me after I accepted (that was hard initially, but best thing that ever happened to me before finding Mr. DG)
Two, I turned down. One of them wouldn’t take the ring back, though I begged him to. The other had just given me a stand-in ring.
Mr. DG mock proposed to me in Home Depot once and I turned him down thinking he was joking. Turns out, if I had said yes in Home Depot, we probably would have been engaged 6 months earlier! At that time, I still thought proposals included rings, but by the second try I realized that ours was going to be ringless and I happily accepted.
Post # 7
My last long term relationship was 3 years – he didn’t propose but when we broke up he got mad and said well now I have 3,000 dollars to waste!
I didn’t even know he was saving and I was 20 and definitely NOT in the same place as him!
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
No… I said yes. My mental calculations were that I either could either say yes and decide later, or say no and end the relationship (we were six months in, and I really liked him but was still getting to know him). In hindsight I think the proper answer was “Let’s think about this for a little while; it’s too soon to commit like this.” But I was young and afraid I’d lose him that way, so I thought about it with a ring on. Like @Valhalla, my ex and I were just never really on the same page.
Post # 9
No, I have never been asked before. I did get a promise ring from an ex when I was younger. He is the father of my child, so everyone assumed that marriage was the next logical step. Luckily, we were young and neither of us seriously considered that option.
Post # 10
Similar situation as FMM. When that relationship ended he said you know I was two weeks away from getting you a ring. So glad it never got to that point. He was very controlling and I was 20-21. Looking back I think I always knew he was not the right one for me and I would have been settling had he asked and I said yes.
Post # 11
I haven’t been asked directly, but when I broke up with my worst ex he told me that he had already bought me a ring and that he was planning to propose on the vacation we had planned for a month later. Dodged that bullet!
I also went ring shopping with another guy but he never purchased anything as we were still discussing getting married.
Post # 12
Yes…my daughter’s father asked me to marry him but I declined. We were both in college and I had dreams that didn’t involve marriage…turned out to be the best decision I have ever made b/c had I married him I would be in misery with a capital “RY”
Post # 13
Once… in grade 5. I told him to come back in 10 years, haha!
Post # 14
@littlelynx – did he come back???? LOL
Post # 15
Haha!! No, my FI snapped me up before he had the chance 😉
Post # 16
My highschool sweetheart informally proposed, had a ring picked out, and a date set to pop the question. I called him one night and said I wasn’t ready to get engaged, and that conversation led to us breaking up that night. 5 months later, he married someone else. 2 years after that, they got divorced, and he called me (the day he filed for divorce!) and asked if we could give it another go! I obviously said no, as I would never have dated him again, and I was with current FH. Anyway, about 7 months after that, he got his much younger girlfriend pregnant, and then they got married.
My second long term relationship (current FH is #3 LTR) never proposed, but when I broke up with him I found out he had a ring for me.
Holding out for my “prince charming” was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself! 😀