Weddingbee boards

i was asked "wanna get married?" over IM once by a guy i had been seeing for about 2 months at the time. i assume he was doing it jokingly and even though it totally freaked me out, i was sort of in the "yeah, this could go there" stage in my head. too bad about a week and a half later, he broke up with me by e-mail sayinf he felt he needed to put his career first. he was a pastry chef, so we had radically different schedules, but i NEVER once cmplained or demanded that he spend more time w/me that he did at that point. must have freaked himself out i suppose....

Yes, it was a complete mess.  I dated this guy for 4 years LD.  Moved to be near him and as it turns out, he was also dating another girl at the same time.  I flipped out and left him, he proposed to try to get me back.  I said I had to think about it, he said that meant no and we broke up.  He ended up marrying her ... from what I can tell from pictures, he gave her the same ring he tried to give me.

Fun fact: I went on my first date with FI on the day they got married.

E-gads, i could have been married 4 times over by now! Haha...

The first time was when I had just turned 19. I was living with my boyfriend in Vancouver, Canada and my Student Visa was set to expire a few months down the line. We were talking about it one night when he said the solution was to marry him. I thought about it for about a week (while he started planning, thinking my silence was a yes) and decided I just didn't want to go that route. Good thing, because he became emotionally and physically abusive after that. It took be 4 months and 2 break ups to disentangle myself from him crap. Best decision ever!

The second time I was laying in bed (I see a theme here...) with my boyfriend of nearly 1.5 years who'd flown in (we spent the 2nd half of our relationship LD). I was... 21? It was New Year's Eve and we'd been drinking Champagne. He asked and I said yes. He promised to get me a ring when he got back to his city and that I'd get it on Valentine's Day. Until then we should keep it quite, not make it official. Well, over the next month it came out that he was still in love with the woman who he'd been having an affair with when we met (she was married with kids!) and that this lady had told her husband (a friend of his!) all about it. The lady called and asked him to leave me to be with her...and he said yes! Broke up with me. Begged me back 4 hours later. Then broke up with me again a month later. Looking back, it was for the best. I never would have been truly happy with him. He was too controlling.

The third time was right after I got out of the hospital after trying to kill myself. I was... 22? I was talking to my best friend in the whole world over the phone and crying. He was crying too, saying that his almost loosing me to killing myself made him realize that he loved me and had been in love with me for years. He asked me to marry him and I said yes because I loved him too (and still do, but I have realized the difference between a deep friendship love and a deep love). We never told anyone except a few close friends. We planned things over the next few months and I visited him (he lives in another country) a few times, but he ended up cheating on me with his abusive, controlling ex. We're still best friends, but now we're both in happy, healthy relationships with other people and that's cool with us. I truly think that we both just really needed each during that spring and while we went about it in an odd way, we both got what we needed most- we needed to be needed and loved unconditionally during a period when we were both depressed and suicidal. I can never regret this engagement because it helped us both and we escaped from it still best friends.

And the 4th and final time, I proposed to him! :) I just realized that I wanted to be with my current FI for the rest of my life. And unlike every other proposal, this one involved a ring (although not an e-ring at first, but a gift from my FI non-the-less) AND an engagement. For the first time ever, I actually announced to other people about my engagement and shared the news with friends and family. My FI said he'd been working out how to propose to me, that i just jumped the gun. But ya know what? I'm a modern girl and I'm fine with having asked him. I know his yes is since and honest and its not for some underlying reason- he just loves me. :) This is also the first engagement where I am truly excited and looking forward to the future. The first to have a date set and concrete plans made. The first to make me giddy just knowing I will get to spend the rest of my life with my awesome FI.